@Whatever77 I have been in a place where I felt like I needed to please people to keep them happy or feel right within myself. It was actually toxic for me and the built up feelings of angst were burning me out. It took a long time to realise that it's a futile endeavour.
There is a problem with that environment. People shouldn't expect us to bend to their whim all time but equally if we allow it by not trying be our authentic self then people will generally not try to help us change. The answer for me was in my self talk. I had to change the way I see myself and not be threatened by other people.
I don't know if your situation is similar or not. But I do know that emotionally you can't go through life trying to please other people without paying the price in your own mental or emotional stability 😁
Edit: And props to you for talking about it openly. That's a great step towards dealing with a problem 👍
@Janet I'll do ok i reckon, I've been reading bury my heart at wounded knee and the first hundred years of nino cochise since i was 16 or 17. How's your Scottish lol? Was looking at a map of the states on reddit a few days ago, ot was showing how many state names (about half) come from native American names. Was really interesting
One cure for yr kid-kicking compulsion might be this -- instead of doing lots of little kicks to all different kids, maybe do one GIANT kick to a kid who's being a particular C, Give him a roundhouse kick right in the head so it flies off into the sea. That way it'd be out of yr system.
@elizabethh i would say you need to have a very honest conversation with your partner or put it to the back of your mind while the relationship lasts. It's ok to have fantasies but not good for a relationship if you act on them unilaterally. It sounds quite the dilemma for you, i wish you luck in resolving it