@Sooomeeeh Love, definitely. True love? Well that's trickier. I think it depends on your definition of true love.

The purest love is that which has no agenda and is given freely. It is given from a place of compassion, through eyes which see the best in the receiver of the beholder's affection. No part of it comes from fear, and if unrequited prompts no jealously or ill-will.

We are biochemically predisposed to making all manner of intimate connections and there is no reason those connections can't come from those we meet and only have contact with online. We don't need physical presence for the relevant pathways to form. I can hold my hand up and say there are people I've (only ever) met online whom I have loved and cared for very deeply.

We are in a very new age, in real terms. Meeting new people isn't confined to the methods it was even twenty years ago. When two people are right for each other, they can (and usually will) work to find a way to make things work whatever their circumstances.

I don't believe that we have "one soul mate" but do believe in a small handful of people who are perfect for us and us them. If we are lucky enough to find each other (these people some call soul mates, these relationships some call true love), the circumstances of meeting don't matter. You have the potential to recognise each other online, if you are sincere, true, and know enough about each other. I think that being able to voice message and Facetime makes that even easier.

So I've convinced myself that the answer is yes you can, but then I'm a hopelessly optimistic (if also realistic) romantic. All I would advise is, if you should find yourself in that situation, be sure of yourself and take care. Sometimes we can accidentally trick ourselves into seeing and feeling things which are not truly there, especially when they are missing from our lives or we are seeking them out. When the offline world catches up with us it can give quite a shock; self-awareness is crucial.

@fai said in bye-bye talkwithstanger:

I’m just kidding, I thought @TM ‘s goodbye topic/message was poorly done, so here it is.. make use of it next time please~

I hear you, and will say I have never understood why so many folk here insist on leaving these epic goodbye posts, other than to give their own egos a rub. A lot of site users don't have a clue who some of these people are, a lot of the ones who do couldn't care much less anyway, and often enough once they've had their fix of attention they come straight back anyway (or don't even leave at all 🤦‍♂️). Of all the online communities I've seen, this is the only one where I've noticed this phenomenon... like, whomever it is if you're going to f**k off, just go already 😂🤷‍♂️

@petrapark3r I reckon so. It's like when your gut tells you a particular person is about to ring you and then they do, or other times when you just "know" in your gut something is wrong re someone.

When my ex was pregnant with our son I experienced the phenomenon referred to as Couvade Syndrome. I would often have left the house for work before half-seven leaving her in bed so couldn't possibly know what kind of day she was going to have, then at work I'd get the pregnancy symptoms, know roughly when she woke/got up, if she was having a bad day my back would be in agony and I could barely walk, and so on...

What's some of your favourite music not in the English language to listen to? I'm going to crack this open with Cuban heroes Buena Vista Social Club, it never fails to wind me down if I feel the need to chill out.

@petrapark3r Lack of consideration/consistency. Not reciprocating effort. Projection.

Oh and duvet hogging 😂

@Queen-Succubus Worst case, you learn from this, it feels shitty for a while, but you grow and become better from the experience. Best case, whomever you hurt is understanding enough to know that everyone fucks up, nobody is perfect, that you truly regret what happened and want to put things right, and they let you. Even the worse case is a positive, if you allow it to be.

Whatever happens I hope the situation gets sorted out soon and you can move forward in peace.

@OliveOlivia The intense gravitational pull will crush us all? Maybe? 😥

@robthehood I mean I'd just wish for the extreme persuasiveness skill, the second part is just what I'd use it for (first 😜). I can construct a good solid argument as it is but some folk just don't care so shut their ears off and for those folks you need Jedi mind trick levels of persuasion 😂

@Ash005 I'm well and truly in the same corner as @kaia_ here. I quite often get asked why I care about strangers so much. I always ask them back, why WOULDN'T I care? I've never had anyone be able to answer me that.

I find it sad when people find online connections purely superfluous. When you reach out and support someone, or they offer you support and and help to you if you should need it, how is that not productive? If we nurtured our relationships with strangers and shared our wisdom and compassion instead of being dismissive and viewing each other as "ships that pass in the night", would that not help us all grow/flourish and then in turn our society?

I'm delighted for you that you have parents who are constantly there, but you only need to look around some of the threads on this very site to realise how naïve a position it is to think it is the case for everybody. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb; some people are crying out for a friendly ear from a stranger simply because they do not have love at home and have not been shown kindness in the real world.

I am not suggesting friendships made online are meant to last forever; I believe in people coming into our lives when we need them, some stay, some go. I'd ask how many real world connections last a lifetime? People who have grown up together often drift apart. I don't think a lack of visual/audio/physical contact is an obstacle to friendship or to the simple capacity in one's heart to care. It's all about intent and the effort you are prepared to make.

@OliveOlivia said in Eights Questions:

1. If you had a time machine would you visit the past or the future? Why?

The future, to gain some knowledge which would enable me to acquire a position of wealth/power I could then use to halt and hopefully reverse the coming cataclysm

2. What do you wish you were really good at?

Reading and interpreting signals as applied to me on an interpersonal level

3. If you could jump into a pool of something, what would it be?

Wine gums

4. Whats your favorite joke?

What's green and smells like blue paint? Green paint

5. If you could be a fictional character who would you be? Why?

Doctor Manhattan. The power to fix pretty much everything, prevent wars before they begin, solve the energy crisis, develop total understanding of the universe, travel anywhere and see everything, pause time...

6. What kind of things really make you laugh?

Silliness, absurdity, surrealism. Wit before humour. Dad jokes. Joy.

7. What is something that you think is overrated? Why do you think that?

Meme culture. I enjoy a good meme as much as anybody but I must emphasise GOOD. It has become too easy for any talentless schmuck to stick some words on an irrelevant picture and get applauded as clever for it. There is a plethora of truly shit memes out there people insist on sharing, typically where someone has just noticed they can switch a letter or word in a well-known phrase for something similar sounding. This does not make it automatically humorous or smart...

8. How do you feel about TWS?

The random chat bit I've used for a couple of years? It's alright, I've had some software issues but it's useful enough. This community aspect? I'm undecided although there are many things I like - ask me again in a while when I've been here more than a couple of weeks

@allallalalalla You deserve better, and you need to have the hard conversation with him. Fear of breaking up is not a healthy reason to stay together; he has deceived and disrespected you.

I feel so much for what you're going through, the pain and angst must feel crushing at times... but if your relationship can't survive him the aftermath of him reading an honest letter about how you feel, that should tell you all you need to know about your future together 😞

I'm confused.

If we pick to only drink water until we die, we can surely still eat whatever we want.

If we pick to only eat food until we die, we can surely still drink whatever we want.

If we aren't eating food, I don't know what else we are supposed to be eating.

So if we pick option 2 and only eat food until we die, we can continue to eat and drink whatever we like and it is the clear and obvious choice.

If you mean that if we pick either one we can't do the other (and by implication anything else), it could be argued that certain foods would provide the fluid intake needed to survive meaning option 2 remains the sensible choice for longevity, but for that quality of life and in the absence of being able to do anything else I'd rather not live.

When the Batsignal lights up, the Batsignal lights up 🤷‍♂️

Wishing you all the very best, I hope you find it fulfilling and enjoyable

Absolutely not, and honestly if his girlfriend could read the messages she should have been able to see that it was all him. You've done nothing wrong wrong and are the victim of a cheat and a liar; I'm sorry you've been through this and hope the girlfriend sees sense soon.

Serious relationship.

In a nutshell, I'm 43 and haven't the time or energy to fritter away on connections that don't last. A healthy, positive relationship with someone I can grow old with sounds very appealing after what I've been through previously.

You're welcome to message if you like - I've followed you so you should be able to.

No. Past is the past, and makes us who we are. The here and now is what matters.

@Ruth You're welcome 😊

@Ruth I read your recent post about love... I'm too tired to write a proper fresh answer now but thought you might appreciate some parts of this old thread, I hope it was okay to tag you 🙈