@_divv_roxx_ A big heartfelt "Thanks" 👏 to you guys,
for investing your energy and time so as to come up with an extremely elaborative response to each and every bit in there 🙂
A lot much still remains, untold/inexpressible 😞 😭
can't explaincan't explaincan't explainuse your words
Yeah, the chess analogy would be very appropriate and right to understand and counter fight the situations whatsoever comes upfront.. At the same time, you hardly can make a move, when you're not in good shape.. When the decisions have been way too agonizing, Would you wonder, on the reason why is it so hard to further decide upon ?
True, all the advice I gave yesterday:
to reflect and learn from your past,
or to visualize and outline your plan of attack to realize a better future,
to think tactically when faced with unexpected troubles,
being intelligently opportunistic with strategic action when faced with any problems you anticipated ahead of time,
and to be present enough to keep your eyes on the prize all the while throughout as you're taking all those aforementioned intermediate actions that will get you to your goal
all of that sort of relies upon and assumes a certain level of clear-headedness in order to make the most impactful decisions, at the most critical junctures, in realtime.
So if you are indeed suffering from some form of emotional or mental fatigue that is clouding your judgement and preventing you from being able to see clearly what you should/could/ought to do next (worse yet, it almost sounds like it's not only a perceptual inability or a problem with perspective, but you've outright stalled into a state of paralytic indecision and inaction) then my best bit of advice for you would be to echo the words of @justB
For the record, I'm not backpedaling or going back on my opinion (actually, no, it's not just a matter of opinion. It is beyond even the realm of unconfirmed belief since it borders on objectively repeatable and independently verifiable fact, i.e. a "justifiably true knowledge claim" gained from personal experience and based on the experiential discoveries shared by countless others as well... but these silly semantics of mine are besides the underlying point 😅). I still firmly stand by what I said, deciding not to act DOES NOT MEAN all those same possibilities will remain the same and eagerly awaiting utilization by you when you return.
So if you really want/need to take a step back and take some time for yourself, for the sake of your own well-being, so that when you come back you'll be capable of making the tough judgement-calls, committing to your decisions by following through with decisive actions, and just in general be more willing to make a difference than the severely depleted willpower reserves you currently have afford you to -- by all means, hit "pause" or "pass" or "skip a move" or "reverse uno" or whatever the heck you wanna call this necessary hiatus. As I've said several times over already, there is absolutely nothing wrong with practicing patience and putting some distance with the object of your contemplation so that you can truly understand what your situation calls for... but make no mistake, the landscape of opportunities will look vastly different by the time you decide to forge ahead.
If there is a chess equivalent to this move, it would be the sacrifice play. Except, instead of an obvious piece on the board like a pawn or one of your rooks, what is being taken from you is the precious passage of time. You have a finite amount of time to actively participate and make moves alongside us on this spinning rock globule hurtling through interstellar space, after which the recognizable pattern of particles that we call "you" will dissipate and return -- ashes to ashes, dust to dust. So keep an eye on the clock beside you on the metaphoric gameboard of life, cuz whether you realize it or not, you're playing speed-chess.
The good news though is that... you're not alone! :D All the rest of us are are also figuring out it's speed chess with a finite amount of time on our clocks as we clumsily stumble across the globe and try to figure out how to "adult" right in life 😁 Welcome to the human condition! 🥳 And since we're all stuck in this peculiar predicament called "life" together, a few of us rando strangers may even be willing to advise you. Suggestions like "take a breather, bruh" won't seem too insightful at first glance, admittedly, but if that's really what you need right now then do what you've gotta do -- no judgements here, cuz I'm just as human as you and I can totally empathize with your plight.
In fact, I'll even go a step further and point out where this particular human's weirdly wordy advice rooted in an argument-from-analogy breaks down (cuz all analogies -- however useful they are initially to abstract away minutiae and map out the terrain of certain situations for the sake of better understanding -- each and every one of them will eventually, inevitably, invariably break down if you try to push the parallels to the extreme). The way in which a chessboard no longer looks similar to the landscape of your life is that it will remain static while you take the time to consider your position and next move... whereas the cartography of your own situation could shift and change wildly as time goes by. And not just due to time, but based on how others impact your options as well -- because unlike chess, other players can still make their moves while you're not engaged, and before you know it you'll have even more hurdles and new hindrances to overcome even though you decided not to act.
So be acutely aware of that fact as you take your break. You need the break, there's nothing that can be done about that, so do what you have to do and take care of yourself. There is a universe sized object crammed within the confines of your skull, and it is capable of more ideas and inspiration that you realize you can currently visualize. It is your most important resource, but it can get worn down and tired, and so now it needs to rest and recuperate so you can return feeling rejuvenated. Do what you've gotta do... but know that the world keeps spinning, and if you take too long, the situation you return to will look drastically different than the one you left behind momentarily for your peace of mind.
I'm sorry, but without knowing more specifics of what particular life-decision(s) it is that you're grappling with and trying to figure out, I can't offer any clearer advise than these vague analogies.
Like if it's related to your academics, yeah totally, you can take a break from college. Some people might scoff at you and say you're making a mistake, but others like me will tell you it's totally fine - you can reapply and finish your degree... but then the cost is time (and or the cost of tuition might go up by the time you return to school -- again, changing landscapes of possibilities even amidst your "skip/pause" indecision)
Or if it's related to your career, yeah it's entirely understandable for people to get burnt out with their workload and so they take some personal time off (or, if that isn't long-term enough or an option offered by their employers, I know some people who've outright quit their current job to take some time for themselves -- cuz that's simply what they needed and prioritized, pure and simple) ... but, on the other hand, that promotion won't be waiting for you by the time you returned to work. Or if you opted to quit, a similar or same position as the title you held at your last workplace may require more stringent hiring criteria or stronger qualifications at a different place of work -- not to mention, all the other prospective candidates who've applied for that same job as you who may look like a more promising hire since they didn't take that long unemployed break that you just did.
It might be a relationship dilemma you're dealing with... in which case I really can't narrow down my generalized advice thus far into anything specific lmao -- at least, not usable or relevant advice to your particular problem -- until I know more details of what it is that you're dealing with (btw, if that is the case, feel free to send me a personal message rather than posting anything personal on a public post and I'd be happy to help, or at least try my best to do so)
Whatever it is, @justB and I have given our advice - the best we could offer given that we don't know any of the details of what you're dealing with.
The thing we both seem to agree on: sometimes you just need to take a breather. Don't overthink yourself into a corner of analysis paralysis. Don't be blind and impulsive in your actions either. Take enough time to carefully consider... and then "go with the flow." Plan, and then play it by ear. Find a middle ground between intent and intuition, and you'll be surprised to find that you're suddenly able to adapt to any situation despite the shifting circumstances and lost possibilities as you still manage to make the best plays by being intelligently opportunistic, acting without hesitation when those critical moments of opportunity arise, thereby seizing the moment and securing a new path forward that wan't available to you before when you were saying "NO"
The one thing we seem to disagree on is when it comes to what happens as you're taking that time for yourself without any overt or outward actions. He thinks that every prior opportunity still remains possible and available to you when you decide to return to playing field and say "YES" -- whereas I think (nay, I know) that that simply isn't the case.
You'll still be able to finish your schooling,
just at a different price
and perhaps with different instructors and staff,
and almost certainly with a completely different set of school friends.
You'll still be able to find work, perhaps even doing the same job you previously did before your break
but with different stock options, benefits, policies surrounding health, etc
at a different location that might be a shorter distance, or a more time-consuming commute from your home,
in a different work culture (which, hey, it could be more hospitable... or it could be a more hostile work environment, you just don't know what the future holds),
and certainly with different coworkers and a different boss - all of whom have different sensibilities than you're used to.
et cetera, you get the idea.
The good news though is that, despite our difference of opinion on that point, we both think you'll have plenty of possibilities ahead of you to choose from when you return.
The key difference is that I don't think they'll necessarily all be ideal choices to choose from, so keep an eye out on the landscape and be ready for that as you take your time to consider and contemplate. Whatever you do, don't do yourself the disservice of assuming that when you walk away you suddenly exist in a vacuum, your options are still under the influence of other people all around you.
Likewise, we all march to the beat of the drum set by ticking clock of time - you don't suddenly become immune to aging nor societal prejudices about how employable or date-able etc you are as an older person.
You should / ought to / need to be painfully, acutely aware of that which you are sacrificing even when you don't think you're making a sacrifice play or playing any overt moves at all on the gameboard of your life. There is a definite price you'll be paying here if you decide to hit "pause" or "pass" or whatever on this issue you've reached an impasse of indecision on...
...ah, but there's the rub. You've become paralyzed. You reached that extreme point you keep referring to in your replies. So you have no choice now, except to catch your breath and find your center again.
So, do what you have to do, and be prepared to do what you have to do when you return with a vengeance too ;) and know that some of us here alongside you will be cheering you on when you do! ※(^o^)/※
breathebreatheyou've got thisyou've got this