@allallalalalla You deserve better, and you need to have the hard conversation with him. Fear of breaking up is not a healthy reason to stay together; he has deceived and disrespected you.
I feel so much for what you're going through, the pain and angst must feel crushing at times... but if your relationship can't survive him the aftermath of him reading an honest letter about how you feel, that should tell you all you need to know about your future together 😞
I'm confused.
If we pick to only drink water until we die, we can surely still eat whatever we want.
If we pick to only eat food until we die, we can surely still drink whatever we want.
If we aren't eating food, I don't know what else we are supposed to be eating.
So if we pick option 2 and only eat food until we die, we can continue to eat and drink whatever we like and it is the clear and obvious choice.
If you mean that if we pick either one we can't do the other (and by implication anything else), it could be argued that certain foods would provide the fluid intake needed to survive meaning option 2 remains the sensible choice for longevity, but for that quality of life and in the absence of being able to do anything else I'd rather not live.
When the Batsignal lights up, the Batsignal lights up 🤷♂️
Wishing you all the very best, I hope you find it fulfilling and enjoyable
Absolutely not, and honestly if his girlfriend could read the messages she should have been able to see that it was all him. You've done nothing wrong wrong and are the victim of a cheat and a liar; I'm sorry you've been through this and hope the girlfriend sees sense soon.
Serious relationship.
In a nutshell, I'm 43 and haven't the time or energy to fritter away on connections that don't last. A healthy, positive relationship with someone I can grow old with sounds very appealing after what I've been through previously.
You're welcome to message if you like - I've followed you so you should be able to.
No. Past is the past, and makes us who we are. The here and now is what matters.
@Ruth I read your recent post about love... I'm too tired to write a proper fresh answer now but thought you might appreciate some parts of this old thread, I hope it was okay to tag you 🙈
@EyeSmoke If I don't have to never see or deal with them again that would be perfect. Losing me from their life would be "revenge" enough - I definitely get the better end of the deal and would enjoy the subsequent peace.
Of course, it all depends on the level of offence. Somebody who used my favourite mug without asking might upset me but I'd likely still want them in my life and bear them no ill-will. Somebody deliberately going out of the way to harm my reputation/relationships or who set fire to my house would be a different matter.
@sakshyyy_123 Once upon a time it was easy. There were far more people here who tried to build a great community. Advice was solicited, and support given. Other topics were fun, interesting, and helped you get to know and understand the many active genuine users.
Now I scarcely come on and when I do almost all the topics are "looking for" ones. The amazing people I used to call friends, some of whom I used to chat with off-site too? To all intents and purposes gone as well.
But I'd never give up hope; there is always a chance. The way I look at it, if you are here and consider yourself a decent authentic person looking for a friendship connection with no agenda, then it would be irrational to think you must be the only one. You've just got to find one another - and hope you get along! 🤞
It took me a long while to realise that I was fortunate to grow up where I did, in a diverse and multicultural community where everybody got along. I didn't realise that wasn't the norm.
As a child I had all manner of ethnicities and faiths around me. My next door neighbours to the left were a large West Indian family, friendliest folk ever. It would be harder to name a religion which wasn't represented in my neighbourhood than which was; my son now attends the school across the road from that very house and white kids are in the minority there. The closest local nightclub was a Caribbean Club.
My mother likes to tell a story of how when I was three or four years old I spotted a Rastafarian walking down our road. Apparently I pointed at him and told her to "look at that funny man". My mother asked what I thought was funny about him. I said it was his hat, then she tactfully pressed to see if there was anything she needed to talk to me about. I don't remember any of this but it turned into a guessing game where I asked if she meant his clothes, his hair... she was proud that the colour of his skin never occurred to me.
Every Sunday for most of my childhood I'd pop round to Patel's after church, the corner shop/newsagents just over the road. When my Grandad used to pick me up and walk me to his after school we would often call into Mrs Vohra's store and pick me up some sweets as a treat. I adored that woman, she always had a huge smile for me and I can still remember how her shop smelt (😍), almost forty years later. These people were essential to our community. In fact, about six years ago I went into Patel's for the first time since my teens, their kids (who are about my age) are running it now but we still recognised and remembered each other.
It's often the Sikhs who do a lot of the food drives and free kitchens for the homeless here. When covid hit and we had the first big lockdown who was it that came knocking door-to-door in my street to see if anybody needed any support/shopping or anything? Teens from our local mosque ❤
So when I hear about conflicts between communities in other towns barely a ten minute drive away from my home city, it's sometimes difficult to get my head around. The same goes when I see the press or news stoking division, or read some of the awful ignorant things that go out on social media.
It doesn't matter where people are from, what their belief system is, the colour of their skin, none of that. People are either decent folk or they aren't. You get good and bad from all backgrounds, it really is that simple. Some of my best friends at high school were Hindu. My best friend when I worked for social services was Muslim. And it's an awful idea to think that I might never have connected with them if I'd been brought up somewhere else, somewhere more closed-minded or which deliberately stoked bigotry.
Love this topic! I'm going to have a think and try to come back to you soon.
@esther_n Some of my favourite books include I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, Dune, Wuthering Heights, and To Kill A Mockingbird. I like a lot of plays too.
What do you usually like to read?
@Malhama said in How do you satisfy your desire for revenge?:
Revenge is good for health. Although it is a noble pursuit, due to the afterworldly consequences involved, extreme revenge is not feasible in most cases.
So, how do you personally satisfy/control your desire for revenge?Also, why wouldn't you take extreme revenge if you don't believe in an afterlife?
Is it though? Sure it's healthier to let stuff out than keep it bottled up, but darkness consumes and there is nothing noble about revenge - that's justice you're thinking of.
If revenge is healthy and indeed noble then afterwordly consequences ought not be a concern to those who believe in them, for surely only ignoble acts are damnable.
Why wouldn't I take revenge when I don't believe in an afterlife? Peace. Health. Wisdom. Growth. There are four good reasons for starters.
It's really good to see a topic which isn't just "person x seeks person y they lost/disconnected from". Even if we might not see eye to eye, thank you for this.
If I could swim, perhaps scuba diving. I'm romanticising the beauty of the underwater realm.
But as I can't I'd pick the space walk. I suspect that would have a greater life-changing impact anyway.
I can go one better and tell you of an actual dream I had today. I was in hospital last night and didn't get home and to bed until 10.30am so crashed out for a few hours today.
When I woke (a little over an hour ago) I'd just been having a dream where my Nana and I were onstage in a play together. She passed away over thirty years ago and although I was doing theatre at that time she never did. I'm not sure what age I was in the dream, I feel as though I was a lot younger. So that was nice. I don't remember ever dreaming about her before.
As an aside, the play we were in was the first short performance in an evening of three, all of which were being directed by my mother. And during our play, behind the scenes where things were being set up for the second, my Nana and I could tell things were going wrong and my mum was scrambling with backstage crew to fix stuff in time.
In terms of daydreaming, I'm just looking forward to my health and home life getting back to some sort of normality.
I've not seen Vampire Diaries but GoT is always a great topic for discussion. Have you played the LCG of it?
