• My ex and I were together for 2 years and 9 months. I (F21) broke up with him first in early May because he kept repeating hurtful mistakes and I had enough. He (M20) begged, pleaded, grieved for me and the breakup, then left me alone until he reached out around mid July and we tried to talk about trying again, but realized we couldn't fix it.

    When it became apparent that he was gone for good, I tried getting him back, but he doesn't want to anymore because he realized that the relationship was toxic for him as well, but in a different way. Or "at least not yet". I begged, pleaded, did all the desperate things, until I finally gave up and started no contact this September.

    I'm planning to get him back by around late October-November. What are your thoughts? Will no contact work even when he already grieved and have experienced what it was like without me? I'm going to reach out to him at that time. When do you think I should reach out? What are my chances? Should I do it? I assure you I'm doing this for all the right reasons. I've changed and am changing as well.

    We loved each other a lot, we were in sync, it was just this issue that broke us apart. :(

  • well in my opinion, if he doesnt reach out in about a month or two, try to get him again, if it doesnt work, im afraid youll have to move on, i had the same thing with one of my ex's but we didnt get back together, only time will tell, if you need someone to talk to as a friend, im here for you :)

  • No idea why you're asking for a fast reply, after all you've waited for months. Also, you ask us - strangers to your ex - about what's going within his mind and from his perspective of view. If you've spent almost 3 years together, you should already know everything about him, from fight-or-flight responses to how he sees your former relationship.
    Leaving all these aside, I would personally say that the odds are not in your favor. You chose its death, let it stay so for months; then, when he has finally moved on (if he ever did so) and you started to miss him, you wish for his comeback. Also, the mistakes, if they were truly impactful, I don't know what makes you think that they are not going to repeat themselves. As Paulo Coelho said, "Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time."

  • Move on, plenty of fish in the sea!

  • @Alicey2k :fish::fish::fish::fish::fish::fish::fish::fish::yum: