My ex and I were together for 2 years and 9 months. I (F21) broke up with him first in early May because he kept repeating hurtful mistakes and I had enough. He (M20) begged, pleaded, grieved for me and the breakup, then left me alone until he reached out around mid July and we tried to talk about trying again, but realized we couldn't fix it.

When it became apparent that he was gone for good, I tried getting him back, but he doesn't want to anymore because he realized that the relationship was toxic for him as well, but in a different way. Or "at least not yet". I begged, pleaded, did all the desperate things, until I finally gave up and started no contact this September.

I'm planning to get him back by around late October-November. What are your thoughts? Will no contact work even when he already grieved and have experienced what it was like without me? I'm going to reach out to him at that time. When do you think I should reach out? What are my chances? Should I do it? I assure you I'm doing this for all the right reasons. I've changed and am changing as well.

We loved each other a lot, we were in sync, it was just this issue that broke us apart. :(