@Elwin This was posted a week ago, just wanted to check on u, r u ok? And i completely understand how u feel, bc i feel the same way. I recommend u tell someone u trust. It doesnt need to be an adult, just a friend knowing what ur going through and having ur back is already so much better than being isolated.
Longass vent regardring the hatred I have for myself and my life
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This might be one of the only times I felt such interest in a topic. I have read it all, word by word. I wish I could say that nothing happened or that it will surely turn alright, but we both know it is not the case. You’ve had your problems, and you dealt with them, but through improper ways, I’d say. You lacked attention, as dumb as it sounds, but it has a great impact - people, such as yourself, such as myself and everyone want to feel like they are on the right track. And you were, but your existence was in shadows due to your brother’s issue. Not the most ethical thing, but do not blame yourself too hard for it, you were a child. Look, this topic is so raw, it takes a lot of courage, hence you proved yourself being this way. You tried chasing people’s attention through your body image, but you see, people are evil, people are being led by their self interests, I know it has been a while, but I hope you have figured out that the people you have met were not trying to help you, but to help themselves. I do understand your seek for validation, even though you were searching in the wrong places. And I can see where your sentiment of being unworthy comes from, you have done things you know you’re not satisfied with at all. But this is the difference, the past. It doesn’t have to be the present or the future. I would normally say to take a step back and observe where you went wrong, but you already know, you’ve betrayed your own self. But you’re aware of that, so do take the chance of changing it. Learn to say no to things you do not enjoy. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your own permission”. You can turn your sad existence (so far) into a life lecture, an inspiration to others. As for happiness, I personally found it only within myself - you have your own principles, your things that you believe in. Stick to your moral code, make progress, become better. Everything that had happened to you is just unfortunate, but it is not meant to be the only course you have to know. Stay safe, give yourself some rest and time for dealing with your thoughts, judge your life decisions and plan to change.
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@AnIndividual Can I take a moment to thank you, sincerely, for sharing yourself with us in such a way? After all that you have been through it is a testament to the strength you don't even realise you have that you are still here.
You have an incredible level of self-awareness in some ways, and it is heartbreaking that you don't see how much worth you actually have.
I'm not going to tell you what to do or how to live, but I will say that if you need a friend to talk to then you can message me at any time.
Hang in there, and try to get that help you needed years ago asap.
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@AnIndividual and i thought my life was bad
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@mikeJB I'm trying to stay positive, hah... I am still young, so I guess I still have time...somehow...to turn it around.
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@AnIndividual i do have some advice i can give.....
next time....PARAGRAPHS! :)
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@mikeJB Haha, wrote this in Microsoft Word (where I had paragraphs) and copied it here... where the paragraphs apparently disappeared.
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@AnIndividual kinda long to read.. pm me and lets discuss this
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@Pick_a_chuchu Can't PM you because you have restricted your messages apparently
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@AnIndividual there i added u
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"the things we go through make us stronger"
they also are allowed by God so that we can then help someone going through the same hell and heartache. they will listen to you more since you already have been there and have credentials. my take anyway. people think God talks to them in dreams and they wait for miracles from the sky. no. he speaks THROUGH THOSE AROUND YOU. and the miracle is you listening and getting something out of it to then change your life. then your change can motivate another
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@mikeJB I am not religious and I don’t think there is any greater purpose in suffering, but thanks.
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@AnIndividual Girl you should be asleep!
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@AnIndividual we suffer because He suffered. good day
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@AnIndividual oh my, now I read it all, well if you want my PMs are open, mine and of some of the guys here
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@AnIndividual said in Longass vent regardring the hatred I have for myself and my life:
I'm trying to stay positive, hah... I am still young, so I guess I still have time...somehow...to turn it around.
You do, and plenty of it. Just gotta surround yourself with the right people, ones who won't try to take advantage and who will encourage you.
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@AnIndividual follow me, gotta help u