This might be one of the only times I felt such interest in a topic. I have read it all, word by word. I wish I could say that nothing happened or that it will surely turn alright, but we both know it is not the case. You’ve had your problems, and you dealt with them, but through improper ways, I’d say. You lacked attention, as dumb as it sounds, but it has a great impact - people, such as yourself, such as myself and everyone want to feel like they are on the right track. And you were, but your existence was in shadows due to your brother’s issue. Not the most ethical thing, but do not blame yourself too hard for it, you were a child. Look, this topic is so raw, it takes a lot of courage, hence you proved yourself being this way. You tried chasing people’s attention through your body image, but you see, people are evil, people are being led by their self interests, I know it has been a while, but I hope you have figured out that the people you have met were not trying to help you, but to help themselves. I do understand your seek for validation, even though you were searching in the wrong places. And I can see where your sentiment of being unworthy comes from, you have done things you know you’re not satisfied with at all. But this is the difference, the past. It doesn’t have to be the present or the future. I would normally say to take a step back and observe where you went wrong, but you already know, you’ve betrayed your own self. But you’re aware of that, so do take the chance of changing it. Learn to say no to things you do not enjoy. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your own permission”. You can turn your sad existence (so far) into a life lecture, an inspiration to others. As for happiness, I personally found it only within myself - you have your own principles, your things that you believe in. Stick to your moral code, make progress, become better. Everything that had happened to you is just unfortunate, but it is not meant to be the only course you have to know. Stay safe, give yourself some rest and time for dealing with your thoughts, judge your life decisions and plan to change.

Wouldn't trust that the whole drama is founded, especially in these times, when people try to cancel everyone.

Wouldn't trust that the whole drama is founded, especially in these times, when people try to cancel everyone.

This might be one of the only times I felt such interest in a topic. I have read it all, word by word. I wish I could say that nothing happened or that it will surely turn alright, but we both know it is not the case. You’ve had your problems, and you dealt with them, but through improper ways, I’d say. You lacked attention, as dumb as it sounds, but it has a great impact - people, such as yourself, such as myself and everyone want to feel like they are on the right track. And you were, but your existence was in shadows due to your brother’s issue. Not the most ethical thing, but do not blame yourself too hard for it, you were a child. Look, this topic is so raw, it takes a lot of courage, hence you proved yourself being this way. You tried chasing people’s attention through your body image, but you see, people are evil, people are being led by their self interests, I know it has been a while, but I hope you have figured out that the people you have met were not trying to help you, but to help themselves. I do understand your seek for validation, even though you were searching in the wrong places. And I can see where your sentiment of being unworthy comes from, you have done things you know you’re not satisfied with at all. But this is the difference, the past. It doesn’t have to be the present or the future. I would normally say to take a step back and observe where you went wrong, but you already know, you’ve betrayed your own self. But you’re aware of that, so do take the chance of changing it. Learn to say no to things you do not enjoy. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your own permission”. You can turn your sad existence (so far) into a life lecture, an inspiration to others. As for happiness, I personally found it only within myself - you have your own principles, your things that you believe in. Stick to your moral code, make progress, become better. Everything that had happened to you is just unfortunate, but it is not meant to be the only course you have to know. Stay safe, give yourself some rest and time for dealing with your thoughts, judge your life decisions and plan to change.

@Matt_Aranha It does, to an extent, thank you. It is, in fact, related to doing something, but don't think of a single, major act. You simply recognize that the person you once knew is different, that none of the ethics they stood for is still there. It is not that they cut off the friendship nor they put your friendship in danger. I like to call it morphing into mundanity, when you lose everything you once were. Think of it as a shining light, which can be put in analogy to your interest/joy of interacting with them. Then it slowly fades away.

@Matt_Aranha I do believe that a problem shared is a problem halved, but not necessarily for myself. It defies transparency, but it grants experience to handle such problems on your own. Also, I want to poke your self-awareness, so please do take this imaginary trip with me: you have had a best friend for couple years, but recently, things have changed - it may be you, it may your friend, or even both. What matters is, you do not feel like your friend is still adequate to be called so. Not knowing whether your friend will or will not return to their initial state (valuable friendship), do you stick for the sake of familiarity and good old days, or do you make the decision to, eventually, end it and find someone new?

I have received a message from Twitter, it wants your genderfluid/gendergas asses back there.

Hard to seek meaning when your grammar is going -> <- ^ v (sideways).

@Matt_Aranha Isn’t solving your problems on your own (topic-related) more of a bumpy ride, as you tend to be less objective, hence feelings getting the best of you? It is, indeed, a good sentiment to be in control, but it may not result in the best outcome.

Try the public chat. Mostly disappointing, but once in a blue moon you get to talk to someone decent. Love the attitude, not going to lie.

@kith Talking => having your mouth open. Breathing cold air => teeth pain. Now your (arguably existent) tiny brain can keep up. If you keep your damn mouth open, the cold air will eventually cause your teeth to contract. As soon as you keep your mouth shut, they will expand (due to body temperature, the process of heating up). If you wish, I could link an article but it doesn't look like you're someone interested in reading anything but sext messages : ).

Maybe, next time, talk less crap, your teeth wouldn't have to suffer from all of your blabber.