What's the best way to dispose of a body?

[sarah_the_magpie]

so, theoretically speaking... if you had to dispose of a body in under an hour, how would you do it? where would you put it? what kind of methods would you use?
any tips or suggestions you guys might have would be very appreciated :)

i'm, uh, asking for a friend.

[BobbiWillBurn]

With only 1 hour, you're facing a lot of issues in disposing of a body. Your best bet is build a super hot fire and burn it. If you had more time, you could heat a lye solution up to 300F and using an oil drum or something, and the body would dissolve, bone and all in about 3 hours (a common tactic Mexican drug gangs use)...

[Matt_Aranha]

@sarah_the_magpie Sorry, I've just realised that is absolutely flat zero help to you 🤦‍♂️

Pre-prepare; you need a means of making the body parts as small as possible. One of those mincing fertilizer-maker things I can't remember the name of would be ideal. You could pour somebody down a drain after that. The main thing you want to do though is park the remains somewhere people are least likely to go. If you have access to water and can puree them up, pop them in a biodegradable bag, whizz out on a speedboat, drop 'em over with a weight, and once the bag dissolves - voila! Extra nutrition for the fishies.

*Disclaimer - I do not encourage or condone any of the above...

[Matt_Aranha]

@sarah_the_magpie That's really difficult. I don't even drive and I'm hardly fit enough to lug a peculiarly-shaped sack around on my shoulders. Plus an hour is an astonishingly short time frame.

However, I do know people. Am I allowed to call in the crew?

[TheRisingSun]

@sarah_the_magpie
Call the morgue 🤔

[sarah_the_magpie]

@Matt_Aranha
yes. please call in your crew :)

[LovelyLueders]

...
Put the dead body in a garbage bag
Then put the garbage bag in your garbage bin so the trash man can take it.
...

[Xandoré_BG]

@sarah_the_magpie. A river. A rope. A stone. look for river with big fishes or alligators. You can always throw a body in a pig farm as well

[wet teri]

I live in Louisiana around here we have alligators bayous and swamps. Lots of snapping turtles, snakes and bears.
The body would have to resurrect itself and make it's appearance known because there are places that no one of sound mind and body are going to go looking for a dead person.

[A Former User]

Hungry pigs.

[Indrid Cold]

Hmm. Great topic. Luckily, I live very near some secluded woods and / or rivers.

But if I wasn't at home? I 'd just drag the body out into the road, then when plod comes knockin, I'd rely on my acting skills. This is what my face would look like:

[spaceboy]

---

[mikeJB]

summon the sparrows from heaven and sit back and watch the devouring

[youkilledmedude]

1. Burn the hair completly off. 2. Pull the teeth out with some plyers. 3. Grind them into a dust and disolve in some water. 4. Put the water down a drain and clean the drain so cops cant find DNA. 5. Cut the body into medium or if nesesary smaller bits. 6. Grind the bits into a meat grinder and package them in vacume sealed bags. 7. Sell to a Butcher maybe an hour or two away from where you live incase. 8. Clean all evidence and clean everything that you can so no DNA of you or the body is left behind and maybe get a friends peice of hair and put it at the scene so the police suspect them more than you. My uh..... friend says it worked like a charm and takes an hour tops if youre fast. If youre slow then itll probable take a half hour id s- i mean he said. I wish your friend luck :)

[youkilledmedude]

@David-Yadav Sir........ This... God this is about disposing of a body and you wanna meet her? A bit creepy too in my opinion but okay.

[Hyde]

@David-Yadav wrong topic dude.... or u wanna date an dead body ?

[sup]

I would throw a BYOB party to my annoying neighbors :D
No, a feast actually. Unlimited food supply with "specially imported" meat. Have as much as you want!

[VCA]

Hydrofluoric acid

[Hyde]

@sarah_the_magpie A corpse ? it's easy to do it away in one hour without leaving any points of it was you who murdered (laugh) when u have the right methods , beside burning it might be a good way to do it to the forrest if you need to take it away in 1 hour just sit down and wait till the wild pigs come up and eat it :P they eat everything, bones, hairs, skin, eyes, everything there will nothing being left~

[pe7erpark3r]

Didn't you ask a similar question a few weeks back? Or was it someone else.

Anyways, I don't think being helpful is the right thing to do when somebody asks such a question :smiling_imp: