How do you get over someone you love....?



  • I'm not good with relationships or friendships. I'm too shy and it's hard for me to reach out. About 5 years ago I had my first boyfriend and it was abusive emotionally mental sexually and at one point physically. I finally left him but it was hard and I was alone for almost 3 years. I was so depressed and lost any hope of love. Then I guy came into my life and it turned everything around he was so respectful and gentle and trully genuine. And we meshed so we'll our personalities and our views and it's so hard to find someone who agrees with your beliefs not religiously but moral's. And it was perfect and we were together for 7 months I had never been happier but then things in my life got stressful and I can't handle stress I break down easy and instead of supporting me or helping me he saw me as nothing more than a burdan and it turned into fights alot and he just dumped me. He was angry and didn't even take time to think it out he acted impulsive but knowing him he's not going to come back but I'm still madly in love with him. And I just don't know how to cope or move on or be strong. I feel so empty and so much pain it physically hurts. how do you ever find someone like that again? how do you get through the pain? How do you stop loving that person? How can I ever be happy again....



  • @Angel94647 It sounds like a cliché - because it is - but time really is the greatest healer.

    Not long ago I saw a meme which said it takes an average of 17 (or was it 19?) months to get over someone. I don't put much faith in random memes but my last relationship took about 13 to get over and the one before that 20.

    The best things you can do are to give yourself space and recognise your own worth. For a long while yet it's still going to feel like there is no future; it's going to swallow you up and hurt every day. But one day you are going to be going about your business and realise the hurt is no longer there. Another day not long after that it'll occur to you that you didn't think about this person at all the day before. Learning these lessons is a slow and painful process, yet like a crucible it moulds us. You will come out of the other side knowing that you deserve better, that these people never deserved you, and you will be ready to share your life with somebody who genuinely sees and values you as these guys couldn't.



  • I listen to sad metal ballads.



  • @Angel94647 Truthfully, I hope you find someone BETTER than him, the one who abandoned you in your time of most need. That was so wrong. A "real man" wouldn't even THINK of doing that to someone, especially one they care deeply for. I'd suggest, make peace with it, and with yourself. Put the past in the past, and keep an open mind and see what happens next. Try new things. Go out. Meet people. That person my cross your path when you least expect it, or when you're not even looking. Someone as special as you deserves someone who will be as special To you, For you, and Because of you. Agreed?



  • @Angel94647 Also, there's the saying that time heals all wounds, and it's honestly true. Time passes, feeling fade. The pain, the love, every day even the hurt is another day behind. It won't happen overnight, but day by day concentrate on you, on making you the kind of person you want to be, and the one who will love and appreciate all that you are will surely come your way, and I imagine if he's the right one, will never want to be without you. Give it time, it'll be well worth the wait. Give it time. And you'll only be the better for it, and so too will he be, with YOU!



  • @Lazz I do agree and I know time is best and just move on. It's just so hard because he says he still loves me but he became so angry and defensive. And it's not like we had to change who we were to be together we just needed to change, learn and grow. But for some reason he ended up resenting me. I'm not sure if I'm in the denial stage of greif or if I'm finally seeing stuff clear. Apart of me hopes that he will calm down one day and realize the mistake he made and just realize it wasn't as hard as he made it but apart of me hopes I never see him again because what if the same thing happens or he refuses to any of that stuff but still begs for me back..... The hardest part and just having the feeling of someone therem to hug and kiss and I loved rubbing my face against his beard it was so comforting and I can't sleep at night without his snoring. I'm all over the place



  • @Angel94647 said in How do you get over someone you love....?:

    I'm not good with relationships or friendships. I'm too shy and it's hard for me to reach out. About 5 years ago I had my first boyfriend and it was abusive emotionally mental sexually and at one point physically. I finally left him but it was hard and I was alone for almost 3 years. I was so depressed and lost any hope of love. Then I guy came into my life and it turned everything around he was so respectful and gentle and trully genuine. And we meshed so we'll our personalities and our views and it's so hard to find someone who agrees with your beliefs not religiously but moral's. And it was perfect and we were together for 7 months I had never been happier but then things in my life got stressful and I can't handle stress I break down easy and instead of supporting me or helping me he saw me as nothing more than a burdan and it turned into fights alot and he just dumped me. He was angry and didn't even take time to think it out he acted impulsive but knowing him he's not going to come back but I'm still madly in love with him. And I just don't know how to cope or move on or be strong. I feel so empty and so much pain it physically hurts. how do you ever find someone like that again? how do you get through the pain? How do you stop loving that person? How can I ever be happy again....

    Let's chat in pm over the same topic



  • @Angel94647 I can try a little bit..
    to make you ever be happy again..
    your trusted cousellor... Follow me to allow me to get started via chatting sessions...



  • Write a sad song about it



  • @Angel94647 Well...you know, there's also that saying about how you always want what you can't have, too. Just sayin'



  • @Angel94647 Hey...wait a minute. Aren't you Miley, and you're talking about Liam, here?? If so, really kinda liking that Slide Away song. JK






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