How do you stop loving someone that didn't do anything to make you mad or hate them. He gave some dumb selfish reasons saying he still loves me though. My mind and heart won't stop saying oh he'll learn it's okay he'll come back but you can't change selfishness. How do you stop the pain how do you stop loving them how do you move on. Is there ever someone else after a true love or do you just have to settle to be even close to happiness again....

@Lurker

I know and everyone keeps saying oh it just takes time and you'll never stop loving that person but get through the grieving process and someone else will be there waiting for you but it's like this person had so many good traits except the one they decided to leave. My ex did it for a selfish dumb reason (he thinks there shouldn't be any compromises in a relationship and would rather end up alone then not "stay true to himself"...) But how do you find someone with all the same qualities.... Sure I could find someone who isn't selfish but they won't be a gentleman or funny or childish with a serious side or vice versa or laugh at the same stuff I find funny or love Halloween and a ton more. It's like you get one good trait but end up losing others or they have those but then have something else wrong.... I probably sound like a horrible person but when you actually find someone who is truly great in a lot of aspects your standards go up and then you realize how hard it is to actually find people like that... Maybe ive lost my true love all because he had one issue he couldn't work and now I have to pay for it....

I'm not good with relationships or friendships. I'm too shy and it's hard for me to reach out. About 5 years ago I had my first boyfriend and it was abusive emotionally mental sexually and at one point physically. I finally left him but it was hard and I was alone for almost 3 years. I was so depressed and lost any hope of love. Then I guy came into my life and it turned everything around he was so respectful and gentle and trully genuine. And we meshed so we'll our personalities and our views and it's so hard to find someone who agrees with your beliefs not religiously but moral's. And it was perfect and we were together for 7 months I had never been happier but then things in my life got stressful and I can't handle stress I break down easy and instead of supporting me or helping me he saw me as nothing more than a burdan and it turned into fights alot and he just dumped me. He was angry and didn't even take time to think it out he acted impulsive but knowing him he's not going to come back but I'm still madly in love with him. And I just don't know how to cope or move on or be strong. I feel so empty and so much pain it physically hurts. how do you ever find someone like that again? how do you get through the pain? How do you stop loving that person? How can I ever be happy again....

@Lazz I do agree and I know time is best and just move on. It's just so hard because he says he still loves me but he became so angry and defensive. And it's not like we had to change who we were to be together we just needed to change, learn and grow. But for some reason he ended up resenting me. I'm not sure if I'm in the denial stage of greif or if I'm finally seeing stuff clear. Apart of me hopes that he will calm down one day and realize the mistake he made and just realize it wasn't as hard as he made it but apart of me hopes I never see him again because what if the same thing happens or he refuses to any of that stuff but still begs for me back..... The hardest part and just having the feeling of someone therem to hug and kiss and I loved rubbing my face against his beard it was so comforting and I can't sleep at night without his snoring. I'm all over the place

Long story short my bf broke up with me but said he still loves me. He hasn't talked to me or anything but hasn't changed his relationship status on Facebook or his profile picture which is still of us and it's been about a week now. So I know he still loves me but broke up with me because of there was too much fighting. Does it mean he still wants to be with me and we can work it out? His he being stubborn like he knows he still loves me but is still a little upset and doesn't want to talk it out with me or admit he wants me back? Is it pride? Everyone says listen to the signs but I don't know what they are. Should I chase him and let him know how I feel and where I stand or should I wait for him to make the first move or should I just move on because no matter how much he loves me he won't come back? I don't know what the signs are and I really don't know how men work other than you have to explain stuff to them a few times. He is stubborn sometimes but he (almost) never has a problem swallowing his pride and apologizing when he's wrong of mad a mistake I'm sure he's just as confused as I am. But I don't want to charge him and risk pushing him away further but I don't want to wait forever and then he just decided to move on if that's not what he wanted.... I need help

I just wish It never happened.... Suffering sucks in general but suffering alone is worse..... I get there's a "lesson" but what the hell did I do to deserve it in such a horrible way. It feels like it's my fault and I know my faults but am I really that horrible of person...

Wish I knew how. How are you doing it? You seem further along than I am.

@Lurker well maybe its because we're going through the same thing but I don't pity you. Yeah I don't want pity either but it feels nice to have people care or understand.

@Izabela unwind was a good one I had to read for a lit class. Mortal Instruments is another good series I recommend. There are 6 but the main story stops after the 4 one. The divergent series is good too but less "fantasy" more distopia like unwind but not as f***ed up haha

@Lurker well maybe its because we're going through the same thing but I don't pity you. Yeah I don't want pity either but it feels nice to have people care or understand.

Wish I knew how. How are you doing it? You seem further along than I am.

@MartyBadger trust me I'm suffering haha

I just wish It never happened.... Suffering sucks in general but suffering alone is worse..... I get there's a "lesson" but what the hell did I do to deserve it in such a horrible way. It feels like it's my fault and I know my faults but am I really that horrible of person...

@Lurker

I know and everyone keeps saying oh it just takes time and you'll never stop loving that person but get through the grieving process and someone else will be there waiting for you but it's like this person had so many good traits except the one they decided to leave. My ex did it for a selfish dumb reason (he thinks there shouldn't be any compromises in a relationship and would rather end up alone then not "stay true to himself"...) But how do you find someone with all the same qualities.... Sure I could find someone who isn't selfish but they won't be a gentleman or funny or childish with a serious side or vice versa or laugh at the same stuff I find funny or love Halloween and a ton more. It's like you get one good trait but end up losing others or they have those but then have something else wrong.... I probably sound like a horrible person but when you actually find someone who is truly great in a lot of aspects your standards go up and then you realize how hard it is to actually find people like that... Maybe ive lost my true love all because he had one issue he couldn't work and now I have to pay for it....

How do you stop loving someone that didn't do anything to make you mad or hate them. He gave some dumb selfish reasons saying he still loves me though. My mind and heart won't stop saying oh he'll learn it's okay he'll come back but you can't change selfishness. How do you stop the pain how do you stop loving them how do you move on. Is there ever someone else after a true love or do you just have to settle to be even close to happiness again....

Lots of sugar causes break outs

Long story short. Mine and my ex's relationship ended kind of bad. We got into a fight and he ended it impulsively. It's been three weeks and he's gotten ahold of me twice about meeting up to talk. Well during our fight the last thing I said to him was that he was coward for breaking up through text instead of too my face and he said he would come over and tell me why and I said forget it I need time. So it looks like he could be reaching out to "tell me why" now since then he hasn't changed his relationship status and his profile picture is still of us. The first time he reached out he said "hey I haven't forgotten about you or us talking" and goes on to tell me about his car being broke down and he hopes I still wanted to talk at least a little bit. I panicked and was happy he reached out but didn't want to talk to soon since the wound was fresh so I said let's try again at a later time. Well a little over a week has passed and he messaged me today asking if we could try talking tomorrow night and he called me "hun" (now to you guys that's a normal term everyone uses but for him that's equivalent to your ex calling you "babe") but to let him know either way. I did agree and said okay but I asked what it was he wanted to talk about and he said that there was stuff he wanted to tell me that he hasn't gotten to yet that he feels I need to hear from him and that he doesnt feel right for what happened and didn't want it to go down that way so basically it sounds like he just feels guilty and wants to apologize but then he said "I hope you'll give me one last chance to make things right" this is the part the confuses me he called me hun twice in the conversation total and then asks to make things right? But everything else sounds like nothing more than guilt. Does he want me back or is he looking for closure? Personally I didn't want to meet up with him if it was to apologize or seek closure because personally for my sake I just want to let it go and move on if that's what happening but if there's a chance to work things out I want to. At the moment I agreed to meet but only because I don't want to miss this opportunity if there's a chance, ya know? What do you guys think because any input or ideas would really help. Not a chance of love without a risk but why take a risk if there's not a chance..... Thanks in advance everyone....

I will admit I fucked up. Me and bf had a great relationship and the only reason he broke up with me is because we fought too much towards the end. (Over dumb small stuff but I have hormones I get emotional and irritable but he doesn't understand that fully...) I still love him to death and it's been a little while now but I can't move on. I know I know a million girls have cried he's the one but deep down we didn't have an real issues. usually when something is too good to be true it is but we were perfect other than the fighting. And I want to take a chance and talk to him and see if we can try again but I don't know how he feels and I know we're not mind readers but maybe someone can help me with what I know? So we got into a big fight and not even two hours later while I was at work he sent a break up text quoting he still loves me but the fighting is too much and he needs to move on and get his shit together before he puts it on someone else" and then dropped almost all of my stuff off at my house. And he wouldn't listen to anything I had to say or wouldn't even answer my calls. So he left impulsively, mentioned someone else not anyone else, and forgot a few of my things at his place. Now some of the stuff he forgot yeah we're kind of hidden but my movies were in an obvious spot. Did he forget them on purpose so we could talk again later? I still haven't asked for my stuff back yet. I'm trying to give this time and then he didn't unfriend me on FB infact his Facebook still says he's in a relationship with me and he still hasn't changed his profile picture of us. Now I had to go to the hospital the other night and I was passing out from lack of blood and in a panic attack and I messaged him. After I calmed down I realized it was the middle of the night so I apologized and then I sent a text letting him know I was home and then that morning he gave a nice response saying "i hope they figure out what's going on I'm really sorry you had to go through that" but never asked what it was or what was actually going on. and then we play a game together not like together anymore obviously but when I would log on he would log off. I'm so confused it's mixed signals and I plan on giving it more time before I reach out and ask for the rest of my stuff but does he still want to be with me? Does he still care? Being honest I just really want to know if he'll give me a second chance and let me treat him like the king he is but I know no one can answer that question for me.... Thanks for you time.