The 3 kings would've said 'rite guess u wnt be needing these then u spoilt litl scrub', and he wouldn't have smelled nice, or have any bling, so nobody would have listened to him. The Romans wouldn't have been scared of him so he'd end up at his mum's playing xbox and eating potato smileys with beans for the rest of his days.
@The-Mods Sorry for being unclear, mate! I will assume following his ideology by default, and physical distance of 3/4 of a mile unless stated otherwise.
@Scottish My experience exactly. I remember people debating the Black Jesus in the Like a Prayer video, but all I saw was Madonna's little black dress.