Would it be right to term it "UnFair"

[_divv_roxx_]

Sometimes life gives you with various options wherein you have to chose the best suited one's.. On the contrary when life has already decided to ruin it all for you, none but only the closed doors/ways/paths are the one's that appear right ahead of you.. Its definitely hard to carve out from that very moment, and the chances are too not very fair.. To be literally honest, "THE ENTIRE WORLD" seems like falling/tearing apart.. The worst is the molten deep engraved thoughts within you, which you've not been able to set aside, eventually lead to where you are as of now with hardly anyone to hold your back.. LIFE

[justB]

As long as you don't make a choice, everything remains possible.
You get to a point where you think about what if you say YES instead of NO. Most likely the story would have been different

[_divv_roxx_]

@justB Yes, I completely agree, one always has choices to make. But 'Choices' aren't ever any great deal to make. When you have already reached out to the extreme level of saturation, the "choices" do come with their own limitations/fallbacks :( Thanks dude :)

[justB]

@_divv_roxx_ All the choices have consequences. If I were to think about all the choices I made, I would get a headache. You can think rationally or do things on impulse. Do not overthink your choice, just go with the flow and see where it gets you. :slightly_smiling_face:

[erikagautney]

I actually have a lot of thoughts on this discussion thus far. So much so that - depending on how this reply goes - I may just write up a separate, second post that breaks down and delves into various concepts more in-depth per-paragraph, each separated thematically (for the sake of better clarity in what is hopefully a more cogent, coherently constructed argument).

But for right now, I'm just gonna go in a chronological/comment-reply fashion from top-to-bottom to make sure I don't miss anything in my initial response. Apologies in advance if this post seems a bit verbose or long-in-tooth 🙏🏼

@_divv_roxx_ : Sometimes life gives you with various options wherein you have to chose the best suited one

I'd argue that this is pretty much always going to be the case. It's just that the decisions we make with respect to daily or commonplace trivialities almost seem mundane by comparison to those choices which have a significant impact on the manner in which your future unfolds that said latter group stand out to us as defining moments. Certainly more so than, say, when you had to choose whether to turn a doorknob clockwise or counter-clockwise.

This may seem like a minor point to quibble about. And ordinarily, I'd agree with that sentiment, this should be a readily obvious fact that barely warrants further mention. But the way in which you frame "life" in the rest of your original post and subsequent replies as if it were some sort of anthropomorphic sentient entity that itself is "choosing" to hand you/me/us these subset of difficult/seemingly impossible/or "UnFair" (as you put it) choices makes it ever more important to pause and recognize that this is simply the state of affairs in every single aspect of our lives -- from the meaningless and inconsequential decisions to the high-pressure heart-wrenching or soul-crushing ones -- the very fact that every particle that comprises your being no longer resides in the infinitely dense singularity "prior" to the big bang which expanded the spacetime continuum across our known universe to the state in which you and I find ourselves today means that... yeah, time isn't happening all at once in a singularly dense point of all decisions and all possibilities happening simultaneously. We human beings are three-dimensional protrusions of metabolic matter that only ever experiences time flowing in one direction: from the immutably fixed past, to the malleable and actionable ever-present now, to the amorphous and uncertain future that's yet to materialize ahead of us. This necessarily implies that you can't go back and "undo" a choice you've made in favor of another one. That goes for what you had for breakfast or how you handled your last breakup. The best we can do is learn from our past experiences (in the present), visualize an ideal future we'd like to strive towards (in the present moment), and take what seem to be the most appropriate action to get us from point A to B (by being present in the moment when those opportunities arise).

Ah, but I think I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here lol. Like I said, I have lots of thoughts on this. I'll do a dedicated differentiation between these various ideas at the end or in a separate reply. Moving on to the next segment of how you've chosen to frame this peculiar state of affairs that we call existential reality, i.e. "life"

On the contrary when life has already decided to ruin it all for you, none but only the closed doors/ways/paths are the one's that appear right ahead of you..

Yep, see, I definitely did jump ahead as I already addressed some of this. That's what I get for trying to address you from memory rather than paying attention to the portion I actually quoted lmao.

So, yeah, you're attributing characteristics to "life" here that I don't think are actually helpful (or even necessarily justified and true). How is it beneficial to your decision making capabilities to conceive of "life" as something akin to the 3 sisters of fate from greek mythology, controlling every aspect of your life like a puppeteer gleefully snipping and chopping away the strings with a witchlike cackle till you're left with bad to impossible decisions?

I get that we all can feel a bit powerless at times, but trust me, this isn't a healthy outlook to subscribe to in the long term as it will eventually, inevitably, invariably lead to a defeatist mentality. A sort of "well, why should I bother with anything anymore, I wasn't able to get the guy or girl of my dreams because it just wasn't written in the stars and the planets weren't aligned in my favor / I couldn't get that career path defining promotion, because it wasn't the will of the gods and/or the fates were conspiring against me / I will never be able to (insert idealized variable X here) because (insert the constant Y of a cosmic force that's completely outside of your control here)"

I agree and can even empathize with you on the fact that life is full of regrets for decisions we wish we could take back. I'll even cop to the fact that sometimes (important distinction here, not "always" because this isn't an "absolute" or "universal" truth. It is, definitionally speaking situational in nature) none of those options seem ideal as they're all bad choices which will lead to various variations of disastrous consequences and we're left with the unenviable task of having to choose between the lesser of two or more evils in order to minimize the potential damage. I get the plight behind your sentiments @_divv_roxx_ I really truly sincerely do...

...but I think you're failing to account for the fact that we are thinking, sentient, self-reflective creatures. We are beings who are capable of learning and growing. Who's to say that you won't be able to see a better path ahead the next time you're faced with an impossible ultimatum? At the very least, I can tell you from my personal past experiences that my ability to be tactical when faced with an unforseen challenge (and most certainly to be able to strategize and direct my actions accordingly to appropriately anticipate difficulties and hardships that I know will eventually come my way) have grown by leaps and bounds with each and every trial and conundrum I've had to face in life over the years. Also, if my word alone isn't enough, there seem to be a fuckton of books and memoirs scattered across the globe written by people way smarter than me going back decades and centuries, all of whom seem to suggest this capacity is an inherent birthright of our human condition as well 👍🏼

Its definitely hard to carve out from that very moment, and the chances are too not very fair..

See the last paragraph I wrote immediately prior to this one.

If it helps, I've come to think of it as being somewhat analogous to playing a chess game. Pretty much after the second or third opening move onwards none of your decisions are going to be 100% perfectly ideal... because it's no longer an empty and expansive board full of possibilities anymore. Every move you make from that point on is in response to the opposing force that you face. Whether you position pieces to block an advance, to confront a threat, to divide and conquer, to retreat and strengthen your own defenses, etc etc, that's all entirely up to you based on what the situation calls for. But I can assure you, NONE of that will feel perfectly ideal in the moment... but so long as you keep in mind that your goal is to capture their king and win the game, you will always, always, always be able to ascertain what is the best move that you can make in that circumstance with respect to your overarching goal.

Sure, you might have to give up an advantageous position in the short-term, or your most versatile asset might get pinned down in the mid-game, or you might even have to make the tough call to do a sacrifice play with your most potent pieces near the endgame... so long as each of those decisions leads to an opening, a new possible path forward that didn't exist for you prior to that point, I'd say it's worth it. It doesn't matter if it's your queen, your bishop, your knight, or even the often overlooked "foot-soldier" pawn that you advance forward to corner your counterpoint across the board, you'll be able to pull off a win -- even if it's by the slimmest of margins. Heck, you could even put your own neck on the line and move the kingpiece forward for that final pincer maneuver. It may seem silly, or dangerous, stumbling one step at a time towards a seemingly impossible prize - but with each step you take you confront the possibilities, opening some new ones, closing the door on others. At a very high-level birds-eye view, this is an abstraction of your own position in life as well. One decision at a time, one moment at a time - that's all we can do.

Sorry if you're not much of a chess aficionado and this analogy isn't really helping lol, but I'm just trying to draw a parallel between the "short skirmishes" or "noisy battles" that require quick and tactical decision-making on your part (whether in chess, or in life) vs "the wars" that wage over the course of your entire lifetime (on the chessboard, or on planet earth) which require a bit more finesse, perspective, and strategy to navigate through successfully. Do you try to "win" this fight between you and your friend, your family member, your significant other, your professional colleague, etc? Or do you tactically, tactfully, decline to cause damage, recognizing that expending your energies here doesn't accomplish much in the long term and instead focus on whatever underlying issues are causing these points of friction and contention and outbursts in your interpersonal relationships with family, friends, loved ones, career partners, etc? I won't pretend like any of these judgement calls will ever be "easy" or the most "ideal" either - but it is true that you definitely do learn to become more reflective and cognizant of how your decisions will impact yourself and others over time.

But that will only come with time and experience I'm afraid. And, once again, I can't stress this enough: with recognizing what your overall objective is. Without a clear goal to strive towards, the moves you make in life won't gain you any momentum (just as your chess moves on the board will seem directionless, lacking the drive to survive and come out ahead). So first figure out what it is that you want for yourself. For your health, your wealth, your happiness, the well-being of those around your familial / platonic / professional relationships... whatever it may be from the first-person perspective of your kingpiece, you set your sights on it and take aim. After that point, don't even worry about framing it in terms of un/fair dis/advantages. You make moves towards your goals, and even if they aren't the perfect solution you will know that given the circumstances and all the information at your disposal you chose the best possible path forward. And even for that not-perfect strategem that you chose to move forward with, if you happen to not stick the landing and make a tactical misstep along the way - don't frame it in your mind as a "mistake" - it's a learning moment. You don't make mistakes, you make adjustments, and you continue to forge ahead towards your ideal. So who gives a flying f*ck if the chances of survival are a thousand to one? You forget the thousand. You focus on the one. And you grind like hell to push past the odds and actualize the outcome that you've envisioned.

To be literally honest, "THE ENTIRE WORLD" seems like falling/tearing apart..

I think you're being metaphorical here, not literal.

Either way, this statement is a bit too generic to adequately address without knowing the specifics of what you're alluding to.

I don't mind responding in a future reply, so long as you can clarify what exactly you're referencing here when you say "THE ENTIRE WORLD"

The worst is the molten deep engraved thoughts within you, which you've not been able to set aside, eventually lead to where you are as of now with hardly anyone to hold your back

Ah, see, you've touched on a topic here that I think requires a more elaborated answer: The relationship of habitual thinking vs novel insights. Are our brains only always and forever doomed to fire along already established neural-pathways, i.e. "deeply engraved thoughts" as you put it? Or is it possible for new synaptic connections to be made? For new neural pathways to be forged? For new thoughts, ideas, insights and paradigms of perspective?

Unfortunately... I'm looking at this long ass reply and I'm hesitant to write that second post after all 😅 So the short version is that, scientifically speaking, your brain is capable of something called neuroplasticity. So, sure, even if it is true that we are creatures of habit, it will always be possible and within your grasp to learn new things and see situations in a different, new, unique and novel manner that simply escaped your perspective prior to that point. So as paradoxical as this may sound, as much as your mind can get "stuck in a rut" it is also entirely plausible for it to become a malleable and adaptable imaginatrix of ideation.

Oh, also, if you're interested in the TL;DR versions of my previous replies, I was referring to the philosophical ideas of "determinism vs libertarianism" in which I've sortof taken the middle-ground stance of "compatibilism" i.e. I don't think we have free-will, but I don't think that we're choiceless robots following the domino-fall programming of the universe either -- I just take the "free" part out of free-will. To use the prior chess analogy, I can't move my pieces willy-nilly however the hell I want wherever I want and whenever I want all across the board, there are definite strictures and restrictions placed upon where I can position each piece and in what manner it will traverse the board. However, understanding those rules/limitations placed upon my choices (and, again, having an objective of winning the game in mind) I can and always will be able to determine what is the best possible move I can make towards that goal and decide to do so.

@justB : As long as you don't make a choice, everything remains possible.

I VIOLENTLY DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT!!! 😤

It may sound good theoretically, on paper. But realistically speaking, in practical application, this hardly ever holds true.

As I wrote earlier, time is always marching ahead, even if you don't make a decision. So it's simply untrue to suggest that "everything remains possible" when new possibilities arise as old ones dissapear with each second that ticks by on the ever progressing clock. This problem gets even more complicated when compounded with the fact that there are other human beings, thinking agents who are also capable of making decisions, and the choices that they make for each moment you haven't decided to act have a definite and measurable impact on the landscape of what possibilities remain available to you.

I still espouse the fact that reflection and carefully thought out deliberation leads to more well informed decision making. So, yes, carefully consider the consequences of your actions rather than choosing thoughtlessly... but it's foolhardy to pretend that all things in the universe remain equal while you ponder the possibilities.

And this is why, while advocating for you to take a moment in the present to reflect on the past and plan out what future you want a hand in creating, I'm also highlighting the fact that the "possibilities" are an ever-changing landscape - and so you must also be able to recognize and discern where and when being intelligently opportunistic is called for. Because that particular opportunity isn't going to be there a month, a minute, a moment from now (especially if time isn't the only factor in play and another person who has already learned the value of intelligent opportunism chooses to pounce on that possibility, snatching the choice from you due to your inaction)

So... yes, take a moment, be fully present, and breathe. Carefully consider what your aspirations are, what it takes to make that a reality... and recognize when the most opportune moment arrives, and act without remorse or regret. Don't get caught up in analysis paralysis as life passes you by. You will never have a total compendium of all the knowledge in the universe required to make the perfectly informed decision. Certainly time isn't going to pause for you while accumulate that knowledge, nor are other people and forces that limit and hinder your choices. But you can make a reasonably well-informed decision based on all the information you've gathered that is currently available to you right now. You can gauge the competition, calculate the probabilities, and create new possibilities for yourself by seizing the moment without delay when it counts the most.

And again, don't be afraid of making mistakes with this method.

• Ever seen an artist make an initially accidental smudge work to their advantage as that part of the painting is transformed into a unique whorl in the tree or a jagged point along the mountainside?
• If a sculptor chisels the wrong spot or makes a mistake while carving, they'll keep working without worry, revising and incorporating the new shape till you can't tell the difference.
• If you miss a note while playing a melody, the metronome keeps ticking, and you can choose to either pause playing your instrument or keep the rhythm going as you recover and complete that musical composition.

There are no such things as mistakes, only lessons learned as you make adjustments accordingly and incorporate your new (never 100% ideal) position into your next move.

You get to a point where you think about what if you say YES instead of NO. Most likely the story would have been different

@_divv_roxx_ : Yes, I completely agree, one always has choices to make. But 'Choices' aren't ever any great deal to make. When you have already reached out to the extreme level of saturation, the "choices" do come with their own limitations/fallbacks 😞
@justB : All the choices have consequences. If I were to think about all the choices I made, I would get a headache. You can think rationally or do things on impulse. Do not overthink your choice, just go with the flow and see where it gets you. 🙂

I VIOLENTLY AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT!!! 😤

It's a curious paradox, isn't it? To "go with the flow" or "plan it all out to perfection." In most instances, I think utilizing a bit of both approaches serves us best: i.e. "figure out what I wanna do, to the best of my ability... and then, when the critical moment comes.. wing it / play it by ear / improvise accordingly as the situation evolves"

[justB]

@erikagautney I know that in the end you must make a choice but do you heard of Zugzawang? Zugzwang is a German word which basically means, "It is your turn to move, and all of your moves are bad!" There is no "pass" or "skip a move" in chess, so sometimes having to move can lose the game. Thats what i wanted to say in that statement.
I like to write concisely and be understood.

[erikagautney]

Compared to your (what I consider to be admirable, truly!) concise style, I'm not very succinct at all @justB 😂 That said, I think I more or less agree with the sentiments you've conveyed in this convo overall :)

The one part I said I disagreed with was a purposeful snippet of your first reply because that sentence -- taken by itself -- is a bit misleading. Of course, you had a following sentence that added context, and a second reply after that, both of which I agreed with. And even the segment where I was "violently" disagreeing with you lmao, I think I advocated for a bit of a compromise between "pause for as long as you need to and consider the shifting, changing possibilities" and "act without hesitation when it really counts" But make no mistake, inaction still has consequences. All possibilities DO NOT remain equal while you're considering what your next move could be. That's the key point I wanted to get across, and why I started with an "I disagree" before incorporating the benefits of what you said into my proposed compromise.

As for what you just wrote, I'm also in complete agreement with you. With @_divv_roxx_ too, as I told him the same thing earlier. I empathize with the fact that sometimes you just don't have any optimal choices left and you're forced to choose the lesser of two evils - which may just end up costing you the chess game / the outcome you wanted in life won't be what you get. To that, what else can I say but "it is what it is" ¯\(ツ)/¯

[_divv_roxx_]

@erikagautney A big heartfelt "Thanks" :clap: to you guys, for investing your energy and time so as to come up with an extremely elaborative response to each and every bit in there :) A lot much still remains, untold/inexpressible :disappointed: :loudly_crying_face: Yeah, the chess analogy would be very appropriate and right to understand and counter fight the situations whatsoever comes upfront.. At the same time, you hardly can make a move, when you're not in good shape.. When the decisions have been way too agonizing, Would you wonder, on the reason why is it so hard to further decide upon ? About "THE ENTIRE WORLD", You have your own tiny little world, built around, with the ones you rely upon, with the things you love to do and so on.. Any disturbance/irregularities into the same, no matter what it is, how is it related to, but surely/definitely it affects you.. Yep, It is my turn to move, and since most(all) of my moves had been worse, I feel !!" There is no "pass" or "skip a move".. But what do I make a choice about ?? Do I have those options to chose from ? Might be/not.. The mere essence of harshness which has dissolved itself to such an extent, which now seems to be inseparable.. Some lessons lead to unidirectional way where isn't a coming back :(

[erikagautney]

@_divv_roxx_ A big heartfelt "Thanks" 👏 to you guys,

for investing your energy and time so as to come up with an extremely elaborative response to each and every bit in there 🙂

A lot much still remains, untold/inexpressible 😞 😭

Yeah, the chess analogy would be very appropriate and right to understand and counter fight the situations whatsoever comes upfront.. At the same time, you hardly can make a move, when you're not in good shape.. When the decisions have been way too agonizing, Would you wonder, on the reason why is it so hard to further decide upon ?

True, all the advice I gave yesterday:

• to reflect and learn from your past,
• or to visualize and outline your plan of attack to realize a better future,
• to think tactically when faced with unexpected troubles,
• being intelligently opportunistic with strategic action when faced with any problems you anticipated ahead of time,
• and to be present enough to keep your eyes on the prize all the while throughout as you're taking all those aforementioned intermediate actions that will get you to your goal

all of that sort of relies upon and assumes a certain level of clear-headedness in order to make the most impactful decisions, at the most critical junctures, in realtime.

So if you are indeed suffering from some form of emotional or mental fatigue that is clouding your judgement and preventing you from being able to see clearly what you should/could/ought to do next (worse yet, it almost sounds like it's not only a perceptual inability or a problem with perspective, but you've outright stalled into a state of paralytic indecision and inaction) then my best bit of advice for you would be to echo the words of @justB

For the record, I'm not backpedaling or going back on my opinion (actually, no, it's not just a matter of opinion. It is beyond even the realm of unconfirmed belief since it borders on objectively repeatable and independently verifiable fact, i.e. a "justifiably true knowledge claim" gained from personal experience and based on the experiential discoveries shared by countless others as well... but these silly semantics of mine are besides the underlying point 😅). I still firmly stand by what I said, deciding not to act DOES NOT MEAN all those same possibilities will remain the same and eagerly awaiting utilization by you when you return.

So if you really want/need to take a step back and take some time for yourself, for the sake of your own well-being, so that when you come back you'll be capable of making the tough judgement-calls, committing to your decisions by following through with decisive actions, and just in general be more willing to make a difference than the severely depleted willpower reserves you currently have afford you to -- by all means, hit "pause" or "pass" or "skip a move" or "reverse uno" or whatever the heck you wanna call this necessary hiatus. As I've said several times over already, there is absolutely nothing wrong with practicing patience and putting some distance with the object of your contemplation so that you can truly understand what your situation calls for... but make no mistake, the landscape of opportunities will look vastly different by the time you decide to forge ahead.

If there is a chess equivalent to this move, it would be the sacrifice play. Except, instead of an obvious piece on the board like a pawn or one of your rooks, what is being taken from you is the precious passage of time. You have a finite amount of time to actively participate and make moves alongside us on this spinning rock globule hurtling through interstellar space, after which the recognizable pattern of particles that we call "you" will dissipate and return -- ashes to ashes, dust to dust. So keep an eye on the clock beside you on the metaphoric gameboard of life, cuz whether you realize it or not, you're playing speed-chess.

The good news though is that... you're not alone! :D All the rest of us are are also figuring out it's speed chess with a finite amount of time on our clocks as we clumsily stumble across the globe and try to figure out how to "adult" right in life 😁 Welcome to the human condition! 🥳 And since we're all stuck in this peculiar predicament called "life" together, a few of us rando strangers may even be willing to advise you. Suggestions like "take a breather, bruh" won't seem too insightful at first glance, admittedly, but if that's really what you need right now then do what you've gotta do -- no judgements here, cuz I'm just as human as you and I can totally empathize with your plight.

In fact, I'll even go a step further and point out where this particular human's weirdly wordy advice rooted in an argument-from-analogy breaks down (cuz all analogies -- however useful they are initially to abstract away minutiae and map out the terrain of certain situations for the sake of better understanding -- each and every one of them will eventually, inevitably, invariably break down if you try to push the parallels to the extreme). The way in which a chessboard no longer looks similar to the landscape of your life is that it will remain static while you take the time to consider your position and next move... whereas the cartography of your own situation could shift and change wildly as time goes by. And not just due to time, but based on how others impact your options as well -- because unlike chess, other players can still make their moves while you're not engaged, and before you know it you'll have even more hurdles and new hindrances to overcome even though you decided not to act.

So be acutely aware of that fact as you take your break. You need the break, there's nothing that can be done about that, so do what you have to do and take care of yourself. There is a universe sized object crammed within the confines of your skull, and it is capable of more ideas and inspiration that you realize you can currently visualize. It is your most important resource, but it can get worn down and tired, and so now it needs to rest and recuperate so you can return feeling rejuvenated. Do what you've gotta do... but know that the world keeps spinning, and if you take too long, the situation you return to will look drastically different than the one you left behind momentarily for your peace of mind.

I'm sorry, but without knowing more specifics of what particular life-decision(s) it is that you're grappling with and trying to figure out, I can't offer any clearer advise than these vague analogies.

Like if it's related to your academics, yeah totally, you can take a break from college. Some people might scoff at you and say you're making a mistake, but others like me will tell you it's totally fine - you can reapply and finish your degree... but then the cost is time (and or the cost of tuition might go up by the time you return to school -- again, changing landscapes of possibilities even amidst your "skip/pause" indecision)

Or if it's related to your career, yeah it's entirely understandable for people to get burnt out with their workload and so they take some personal time off (or, if that isn't long-term enough or an option offered by their employers, I know some people who've outright quit their current job to take some time for themselves -- cuz that's simply what they needed and prioritized, pure and simple) ... but, on the other hand, that promotion won't be waiting for you by the time you returned to work. Or if you opted to quit, a similar or same position as the title you held at your last workplace may require more stringent hiring criteria or stronger qualifications at a different place of work -- not to mention, all the other prospective candidates who've applied for that same job as you who may look like a more promising hire since they didn't take that long unemployed break that you just did.

It might be a relationship dilemma you're dealing with... in which case I really can't narrow down my generalized advice thus far into anything specific lmao -- at least, not usable or relevant advice to your particular problem -- until I know more details of what it is that you're dealing with (btw, if that is the case, feel free to send me a personal message rather than posting anything personal on a public post and I'd be happy to help, or at least try my best to do so)

Whatever it is, @justB and I have given our advice - the best we could offer given that we don't know any of the details of what you're dealing with.

The thing we both seem to agree on: sometimes you just need to take a breather. Don't overthink yourself into a corner of analysis paralysis. Don't be blind and impulsive in your actions either. Take enough time to carefully consider... and then "go with the flow." Plan, and then play it by ear. Find a middle ground between intent and intuition, and you'll be surprised to find that you're suddenly able to adapt to any situation despite the shifting circumstances and lost possibilities as you still manage to make the best plays by being intelligently opportunistic, acting without hesitation when those critical moments of opportunity arise, thereby seizing the moment and securing a new path forward that wan't available to you before when you were saying "NO"

The one thing we seem to disagree on is when it comes to what happens as you're taking that time for yourself without any overt or outward actions. He thinks that every prior opportunity still remains possible and available to you when you decide to return to playing field and say "YES" -- whereas I think (nay, I know) that that simply isn't the case.

• You'll still be able to finish your schooling,
  • just at a different price
  • and perhaps with different instructors and staff,
  • and almost certainly with a completely different set of school friends.
• You'll still be able to find work, perhaps even doing the same job you previously did before your break
  • but with different stock options, benefits, policies surrounding health, etc
  • at a different location that might be a shorter distance, or a more time-consuming commute from your home,
  • in a different work culture (which, hey, it could be more hospitable... or it could be a more hostile work environment, you just don't know what the future holds),
  • and certainly with different coworkers and a different boss - all of whom have different sensibilities than you're used to.

et cetera, you get the idea.

The good news though is that, despite our difference of opinion on that point, we both think you'll have plenty of possibilities ahead of you to choose from when you return.

The key difference is that I don't think they'll necessarily all be ideal choices to choose from, so keep an eye out on the landscape and be ready for that as you take your time to consider and contemplate. Whatever you do, don't do yourself the disservice of assuming that when you walk away you suddenly exist in a vacuum, your options are still under the influence of other people all around you.

Likewise, we all march to the beat of the drum set by ticking clock of time - you don't suddenly become immune to aging nor societal prejudices about how employable or date-able etc you are as an older person.

You should / ought to / need to be painfully, acutely aware of that which you are sacrificing even when you don't think you're making a sacrifice play or playing any overt moves at all on the gameboard of your life. There is a definite price you'll be paying here if you decide to hit "pause" or "pass" or whatever on this issue you've reached an impasse of indecision on...

...ah, but there's the rub. You've become paralyzed. You reached that extreme point you keep referring to in your replies. So you have no choice now, except to catch your breath and find your center again.

So, do what you have to do, and be prepared to do what you have to do when you return with a vengeance too ;) and know that some of us here alongside you will be cheering you on when you do! ※(^o^)/※