My younger sister is getting spoiled.
monross last edited by
As an older brother, I don’t want to see my sister struggling with her school works. Since it is inevitable for students, I pamper her with everything she wants in return for her hard work at school. However, I have observed that she’s getting spoiled through time. She’s starting to ask me expensive stuffs. Three weeks ago, she told me she will be her school’s representative for the national spelling bee. If she will be able to get the first place, she’ll win free tour to Hongkong. And just last night, she told me she actually got the first place. With that, she asked me to buy her a Canon EOS 80D DSLR Camera for her tour which is very expensive for me. I’m so glad for her achievements and will always be but I don’t think it will be good if I buy her one. I realized that somehow, it’s my fault why she becomes a spoiled brat.
@monross I think you feel the things you want are difficult to get. You feel the devices are like rewards from your parents for what you've done, accomplished, or lived through.
But your sister gets the same without paying the same dues you did.
Your view is irrational. But so very common unfortunately! It may be you don't get enough one-on-one connection with your parents. The things they give you are substitutes for connection but they leave you feeling a bit empty. You want more connection. So it makes you jealous that your sister seems to be getting more substitute-connection for doing less.
monross last edited by
Hi everyone. I am glad that you guys responded to my post. To clear some points out, I have been doing this to my sister because I want to reward her for he achievements. It somewhat a psychology thing; positive reinforcement (rewards) strengthens good behavior while negative reinforcement (punishments) weakens it. In this way, I can make her focus on gaining more achievements and doing the best that she can to achieve a goal. This strategy actually helped her to be more goal-oriented than she was before. However, it had resulted to an unwanted behavior. She has somehow see me as her reward machine or probably her wish factory. Due to this, I have decided to heed your advice that I should I can still pamper her for her achievements but still have to control her desire for expensive things since I want to grow up knowing there thing that she has to work for herself. Anyway, thank you so much.
DayShifter last edited by
@monross hmmmmm, difficult situation. If I may ask, why are you doing this and not your parents?
There always comes a time when a line in the sand must be drawn. It sounds as if your sister is developing expensive tastes and personally I don't think, regardless of how you have helped in the past, that it is your responsibility to do such things as an expensive camara.
Her achievements are good and positive for her future, but life does not reward everything. I would think the tour was enough.
Also not knowing your family or the background it's not easy to pass on advice really.
@monross how old are you now? Are you earning too much that your sissy asked for a very expensive gifts..Being an achiever is a great fullfilment and getting incentives helps to motivate harder.. there is nothing wrong if you pamper her too much if you can afford to give and she deserves it why not ,anyway what are siblings for..
@monross too much attached, possessive about her and fully taking responsibilities about her and not know how to be responsible for her in perticular moment.. now you ar making rules and regulations with like and dislikes toward her .spoil happen in both side you are also part of it... may be you did manipulated with lies and to be big brother Infront of little sister, egocentric isn't it ??show off not able to admit the truth for yourself you are part of her dumb numb nut head behaviour!! I think so guess so ?? she has brain to understand money don't grow in tree.. mr big brother dumb as fuck want to show off to all here,, now you are screaming and shouting like a small drunk hulk blaming your mistakes to your sister actually!! Look see how good big brother I am?? how cool I am ?? Ya dude too cool for school but grow up shut up move on !! Please I would like to hear from your sister too, her side of story then makes it circle.. situation between you and her !!