Are men failing? Why?

[davitchen]

Why is it more frequent to women to be with women, and why are men failing so much at being with someone?

I would really like to understand this phenomenon.

[OliveOlivia]

@davitchen I might be completely wrong, but from what I've observed men are weak.
They're weak to curves, sweet voices, flirtations, etc. This doesn't apply to all men of course but a lot of them don't know how to separate their head between their legs from their head on their shoulders. These men are easily distracted by a women with a pretty face and good figure they don't pay attention to things that matter in a relationship and thus fail at relationships.
Some men are the complete opposite and theyre so emotional and vulnerable that they try to marry to first woman that shows them kindness and understanding.

[davitchen]

@OliveOlivia Well observed, as a man I can't figure that out very clearly because I'm kinda different from other men (I know, that's what most men say...), but I had suspicions already.
Thank you for your perspecive!

[pe7erpark3r]

@davitchen said in Are men failing? Why?:

Why is it more frequent to women to be with women,

Wym? Like that there are more lesbian couples these days? if so then: society is becoming more acceptable, thus women are more open about it and feel less stigmatized to try...

and why are men failing so much at being with someone?

One reason is that men in our days are a lot less manly. They are losing their male identity more and more and thus are not able to give themselves anymore...

This results as @OliveOlivia said in either men who are completely controlled by their sex drive or in men who cannot stand on their own feet and try to depend on kind women...

Needless to say that women desire real men, who are neither of the above. I heard a good comparison once: for a woman to feel safe with a man, he must be firm like a rock in the ocean of her emotions. Kind of a beautiful image, don't you think?

[What is this]

@davitchen Well, one of the main reasons is due to the freedom and the level at which society is. More freedom for most people, at least in some parts of the west(north hemisphere especially). Few centuries ago, people had a lot more issues when it came to expressing their sexual orientation. Many females were "forced" to enter the marriage with a man, never having a chance to follow what they really wanted. But to say men are "failing", in general, is a bit over-exaggeration. Based on the statistics, the 21st century is where the biggest number of heterosexual relationships happens, while the percentage of marriages is lessened compared to previous centuries

[OliveOlivia]

@petrapark3r said in Are men failing? Why?:

I heard a good comparison once: for a woman to feel safe with a man, he must be firm like a rock in the ocean of her emotions. Kind of a beautiful image, don't you think?

YES

[pe7erpark3r]

@What-is-this said in Are men failing? Why?:

@davitchen But to say men are "failing", in general, is a bit over-exaggeration. Based on the statistics, the 21st century is where the biggest number of heterosexual relationships happens, while the percentage of marriages is lessened compared to previous centuries

How are those numbers computed? If I'm not completely mistaken, heterosexual relationships in the western world were close to 100% (for women that is at least) minus a few priests and nuns...

[Lurker]

@davitchen

I think it's cuz society and gotten alot more loose and free.
Men aren't as "doted" as they used to be and girls don't feel that they "NEED" a man in order to be happy.
More and more ppl decide to embrace their gay nature, while others prefer to be free / have multiple companies, rather then a fixed one.

Ofc some men are still as "strong and manly" and can hold their own way but I believe some use this freedom to do what they really always wanted to do

[davitchen]

for a woman to feel safe with a man, he must be firm like a rock in the ocean of her emotions. Kind of a beautiful image, don't you think?

That comparison sounds so suggest that a man has to be not only firm and secure, but comprehend the partner's emotions. Sounds beautiful and hard to work on, because that's a hell of a work. Thus, that is indeed beautiful.

[davitchen]

How are those numbers computed? If I'm not completely mistaken, heterosexual relationships in the western world were close to 100% (for women that is at least) minus a few priests and nuns...

I didn't know that, but I was talking mostly about america and mostly liberal countries, whose reflect better the tendency when people are leaded by freedom (not entirely, but partially, ofc). And no, I did no research at all, this could just be a reflection of my own opinions

[pe7erpark3r]

@davitchen said in Are men failing? Why?:

for a woman to feel safe with a man, he must be firm like a rock in the ocean of her emotions. Kind of a beautiful image, don't you think?

That comparison sounds so suggest that a man has to be not only firm and secure, but comprehend the partner's emotions. Sounds beautiful and hard to work on, because that's a hell of a work. Thus, that is indeed beautiful.

A woman's emotions are incomprehensible lol . Nah, just don't let them kick you off your own path, that's all. Don't try hard or be sorry when she gets emotional and don't try pleasing her or her emotions. Just love her. And be confident about it.

[davitchen]

@petrapark3r Yeah, experience told me not to try to understand everything... Not only it is impossible, but also because women don't like to be told what to feel, or how to feel (actually no one likes that). Good point

[Bobs Ya Neighbor]

Most men aren't failing. I think that's projecting a little bit; we just want to feel like we're secure - and a lot of men have this nasty habit of not communicating their thoughts, feelings, or needs... and that will kill a relationship faster than anything. Also, as far as I go, real respect goes a long way, a lot of us are pretty good at spotting disingenuous.

[Lurker]

@Neeko said in Are men failing? Why?:

and a lot of men have this nasty habit of not communicating their thoughts, feelings, or needs...

I've had problems in some relationships for doing that, I guess that everyone is different tho, so it's normal you might like that while others not so much

[pe7erpark3r]

@davitchen said in Are men failing? Why?:

How are those numbers computed? If I'm not completely mistaken, heterosexual relationships in the western world were close to 100% (for women that is at least) minus a few priests and nuns...

I didn't know that, but I was talking mostly about america and mostly liberal countries, whose reflect better the tendency when people are leaded by freedom (not entirely, but partially, ofc). And no, I did no research at all, this could just be a reflection of my own opinions

Lol, I meant the numbers from @What-is-this's reply

[Bobs Ya Neighbor]

@Lurker Too much neediness can be hard to deal with as well... I like some kind of happy medium where we can both live our lives separately, while coming together and enjoying the time we have with each other. Co-dependency can lead to all kinds of difficulties and frustration.

[E-Cool]

@OliveOlivia Wow! Nice one. Really nice. But tell me. why do you consider "marrying the first woman who shows a man kindness and understanding" a sign of "vulnerability"?

[TheRisingSun]

@Neeko said in Are men failing? Why?:

and a lot of men have this nasty habit of not communicating their thoughts, feelings, or needs... and that will kill a relationship faster than anything.

I know what kills a relationship even faster.
--> Lies

Real respect goes a long way, a lot of us are pretty good at spotting disingenuous.

Indeed. How's Kali these days? Not 2 hot?

[OliveOlivia]

@E-Cool I don't think marrying them immediately is vulnerable, I think they do that because they are vulnerable. They crave that need and support, its something I've experienced first hand with many men. Guys get a bad reputation for being emotionless and closed off, but if you just take the time a lot of them will open up and show just how sensitive they really are.

[Joaji]

yes failing