Unrequited love ...is it a thing?
It occurs to me that I've never had an unrequited love situation (that is, you're in love, but they don't love you). And I can't help feeling maybe I'm missing out on an essential part of the human experience. FO SHO, I've had unhappy romantic outcomes, but that's only after we've both been in love with each other, and it's come to a natural end.
What's it like to be full-on in love, but it's impossible for you to get anything back, and it's dead before it even begins? I'm fascinated. I mean, I dote on 'Antic Hay' by Aldous Huxley, but I'm pretty sure that guy just makes stuff up. If you're inclined to be philosophical or spiritual, did it feel like the universe was somehow keeping you in your place? Or did you retain a LINGERING DOUBT that actually, your romantic target would have reciprocated your emotions, if only he or she had got to know you better? Or did you just take it on the chin?
Wolfie_11 last edited by Wolfie_11
You’re blessed enough to not have experienced an unrequited love situation. I guess the lack of such experience is the reason that you write stories, while I write poetries.
Coming to the point of how it feels.. Well, doesn’t feel good obviously. Story Time: So she was a good friend and by virtue of regular interaction and crazy experiences, I started developing feelings for her (Yesh, ‘coz thats what boyz do). I have a policy of never accepting it first though, NEVER. Don’t wanna create an awkward situation afterall. So one fine day, she comes and says she loves someone else and I’m like Yippee on the Outside and ‘Huhuhu’ (that is a crying sound apparently) on the inside. Yep, and that is the end of story. I manned up and took it on the chin. This is just one of many instances probably. Its like a loop. Now, I’m grown-up though. So its kewl.
Lurker last edited by
I'm a very weird human... I rarely develop romantic feelings for someone but when I do I usually go balls deeps about em...
With this said, I'd also like to hide that I have some sort of defense that simply doesn't let me develop feelings for ppl that don't show feelings back, they simply lose interest to me...
I can be called cold or calculist but that's just how I go on about feelings, I've been so hurt and even abused to feelings that I don't even trust it anymore... With that said, I can relate with an unrequited love due to the story of me and my ex. It wasn't exacly unrequited as she loved me just not the same way I loved her... I'd give my life for her, I'd wanna spend the rest of my life with her and would face any hardships for her while she... just developed feelings for me and my devotion to her but in it's core it wasn't enough to try for a relationship.
This was and still is something that I'm trying to figure out and accept as we've lived a very intense and long love story that pretty much had no destination... She is one of those ppl that make me listen to songs like "Do re mi" by Blackbear ("Yeah, if I could go back to the day we met, I probably would just stay in bed... ; You wake up everyday and make me feel like I'm incompetent... ; You never had to buy yourself a drink 'Cause everybody want to tap that ass sometime...") but still miss her dearly to the point that I fight a true personal battle to resist the urge to text her...
I'm ranting too much now... Anyway... Yes! It's a thing and it's really bad as it's something hard to move on from as it makes you question what do you lack to make it work... At least it makes me question so...
TheGoldenMole last edited by
@Indrid-Cold After being in a relationship for 2 years, my partner one day hit me with the "I don't love you anymore" and it was cold. I think unrequited love is something everyone experiences differently. Typically, if someone doesn't like me then I automatically don't like them back. Apart of the interest is knowing that they are interested in me. However, in this particular situation I had already developed feelings so it was too late for me to take them back. The only way I can describe the situation was dark and cold. Like you just found out everything you believed in was a lie, it can be hard to deal with. Even though it sucked though and I cried a lot, I knew they were making a mistake. It didn't feel like life was "keeping me in my place" because I knew my place was with my partner and their thoughts were clouded. Shortly after they said they still love me and that when they said they didn't love me it was just to make the break up easier, which sounds like bullshit but I took them back anyway and now we're going on 4 years of being together. Was it a mistake getting back together? I don't know I guess only time will tell
Wolfie_11 last edited by
@Wolfie_11 So, prior to the girl telling you she was in love with some other punter, you used to just ..daydream... about her?
No, sire. I used to live the dream with her.
I said about regular interactions and crazy experiences.... Thats what you want to do with the loved one afterall, make memories. So there was probably everything in our friendship, sans the kisses and deep deep intimate talks ofcourse.
@Lurker Thanx for the story, L. You say you're a weird human, but your 'defense that simply doesn't let me develop feelings' --I thought that was the natural default which (rightly or wrongly) most people's emotions operate by? For sure (in my opinion) it's not something you need obsess over. It's never been about emotional second-guessing for me: Love (like 'life' in Jurassic Park) will find a way.
Oh, and I can TOTALLY relate to the texting urge. I was with my girlfriend when texting first started as a concept, so it's especially ingrained with me. I just think how ...eerie... it would be for me to text her. Like the eeriest thing in the world. I'm not even joking. Like a piece of performance art that no one could quite explain, Like that bit in Mel Gibson 'Signs' when Jaoquin Pheonix is watching TV, sees a Martian and freaks out on some kinda existential level: that's the vibe I'd feel the split second after I'd hit 'Send'.
Apart of the interest is knowing that they are interested in me
You said a true thing there.
...and, thanks for telling me such an intimate story, GM. Sounds like you've been through a right double-thinky chess game. Respect Due.
@Wolfie_11 So, prior to the girl telling you she was in love with some other punter, you used to just ..daydream... about her? That doesn't sound too bad. Maybe that's all love is? A kind of extended daydream, WHICH JUST HAPPENS, ON SOME RARE OCCASIONS, to synch up with someone else's life? We've cracked it, old sun. Split the takings 50 / 50 at our psychiatry booth?
Lurker last edited by
When I said I'm a weird human I meant that I can go from 8 to 80 in an instant...
As in being super cold / a stranger towards someone and doing a lot/all I can for someone. That is my defense, but as soon as I let them down it just comes in rushing in. That is why I feel i'm weird, cuz of how the switch can be flipped.
Then again, since I feel life is kinda lacking without "a loved one" then I can understand why the switch is easily flipped, since the force needed to make it flip is so big that when it does, there's not much dosing, it goes all the way...
I have no idea if it made any sense
Regarding texting and the feeling after the text mine is slightly different... My fear is the "seen at xx:xx" or the cold and bashing reply, that's the fear, cuz before the urge you still think, wonder and believe "maybe she is struggling as much as I am" and after u send the text, that little bit of hope can be eradicated!
It very much is