@oasis yes,depression didnt come at once..for 2 years owing to change of surrounding,moving away from friends ,no internet (yes,that can happen) & hence no people to talk with ,No phone ..no way to share things ...just basic human interaction ..(No i wasnt in juvenile prison ,but sometimes i felt like i was )...I crashed,fell into a deep depression
i was always so tired ...sleep for 14 hours straight ,yet dont want to get out of bed
...food started to lose its taste ,i started eating spicier food just so that i could enjoy eating
..I didnt care how i looked ,didnt take care of keeping fit anymore..
Started to have low confidence,couldnt even do things that I was doing handily just some months ago,just doubts everywhere...even where i was sure i was right,i got others to double check my results..
Dealing with other people was the worst,especially relatives, people I knew ... offers of help seemed to worsen things for me.
Its only when people left me alone ,i got to retreat in my own room(seems different from yours..i just wanted people to leave me alone) ,got onto the internet(a few years later & i had it then) & worked on what i loved ,talked with new people ,that i started to get back to how i was..
The more I did what i loved -(game creation,stock market,AI,machine learning application ) ,
Collaborated on projects & talked with people halfway across the world whom i didnt even know ..the more i felt better.
Strange how people who dont know you,can understand you better .
Its been a few years ,but I'm okay ...I have managed to work things out,get fit...but the most scariest thing for me in depression was the hit to my self confidence & self-respect.
Now,I joke,i shitpost ....now i cant even fathom how i was ever that quiet,inconfident person ...it's like a cloud of suffering was on me.