Dear Judith,
When you read this, i probably has enough courage to admit everything. Before i am out of town which means i have a limit access to internet and may be i will be slow respond, i just want you to know this things.
I believe it is been several days after i openly admitted that you re my crush. In this TWS, there are three things that make my nose bleeding, give me a heart attack till i am just speechless atm.
- Judith for whatever it is.
- When i see innocent girl saying something.
- Seeing a naked picture post (i just found some animal naked picture here).
Then, this message will be an open confession but i am sure i will not ask you out to date with me. Why? Allow me to explain in a short way:
- It is not like we will not have a future, i can reach it out, i may jump on my bed then buy a ticket to your country just to show everything in front of you and be a genuine gentleman ever. But then, what we will do after that? After you and i end up together, then we will have a complex drama moreover may be you will be hurt at the end. Hell, no. Judith, you deserve a happy life and i don't want to make a mess with it. A relationship needs a long term goal and i know my limit. I don't want to change it.
- I don't want to give you a false hope. I love you, it is enough. I will be all ears every time you need me, i will be there when you feel down, i will support you whenever you want it, i will be your good friend, a brother who protects you from many bad things here, be a good lover for you till you fully feel you get a love from me but no more. You are almost 17, you have a long way to value your life, you have to go to university, you have to make a decision to your whole life when you are 20, you have to have a good career when you are 24. I dont want to waste your time for this useless stuff while you have bunch things to do.
- I dont want to change you to be someone else. You have to know something, since that day, i am unconditionally, irrevocably and wholeheartedly love you just the way you are. Do you need evidences? I believe you notice i did comment your "old posts" even it is just several posts. I did want to know everything about you. I did notice every changes things on you. I keep my words and promises with you and many more.
- For me, commitment is such a huge thing that i have to deal with. I ever had a bad experience with it and i really felt suffer to heal my feeling. I don't want to feel it again since it really takes time to handle.
- I just want to enjoy every moments in here with you. It is such a precious thing for me and i treasure every moments when you explained me everything about yourself. I believe it will change when we do dating things. Beside that, i want to be your secret admirer. :)
Thank you for this amazing feeling, it is been 2 years since i never fell in love with someone. For me, love is when i see you happy, when you share your compassion with others, when you mingle with everybody in here, when you re independently and critically saying something on your mind and you share your idea, when you do your drama and your jokes and when i know some dark sides of yours. All of your side drag me down to have this feeling deeper and deeper. Thank you for always be a limited edition girl whom i love the most in here. Please you should always be shining, be whatever you wanna be and always be my favorite girl ever.
Jakarta, 18.6.2018, 2.20 AM (UTC+7)
with Love,
G.