Sometimes the Cliche is right
It was a night to remember really. The night I was falling apart. Running to you. Because even when you were just my best friend, you represented a space of safety.
The night that ended with us yelling at each other. Arguing...the heartache. It was crushing. The tears that could not be dried quick enough. The band that seemed to squish my heart as each minute passed. The headache that made it hard to think clearly.
And in that moment. The moment you said you loved me. It all felt okay. Every problem, every mistake I made, every thought rushing through my head seemed to cease to exist.
I loved you. It was a dance, these past few months. You made the hurt go away. The problems disappear. You put the smile you say you love so much on my face.
You made me laugh. With stupid jokes, silly puns, and terribly old memes. Because you were puntastic.
You cared. Of all the people in my life, you were the one I felt the safest around. The one that held me when I cried. Wiped my tears away and found some way to make me smile. Even in the darkest days, someone in this world loved me.
You made me feel like there was something worth living for.
I dont think its ever hurt so bad. Sitting on the swingset thinking about a life with you.
Laying in my bed laughing like it will never end.
Loving you and giving my heart away. Because I trust you.
And I made a mistake. A mistake that has filled me with guilt. And the guilt that built more and more everyday.
You could make the depression leave. But you could never seem to make the guilt disappear.
There is someone better out there for you. One who will remember to cherish every last minute with you. Show you their love in more ways than just “too”. Keeping their promises and returning the same things you give to them.
Looking in the mirror, Im disgusted
Theres no one there to make the thoughts disappear. No one there to wipe my tears. No one there that can make me laugh.
No one there to give me a good reason to keep living.
Now there are tears rushing down my face so fast that cannot be wiped away. A band around my heart getting tighter and tighter. And a headache making it hard to think.
Ill always love you.
Sometimes the cliches are right. When you love someone, you gotta let them go.