MAD THOUGHTS... ... ...



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    Hello Everyone,
    I'm Jane Seymour. It's a pleasure to come here today, on behalf of my good friend Indrid Cold, to open this exciting new venture, the TWS 'Mad Thoughts' page.

    All too often, mad thoughts go unacknowledged and unappreciated. When I was filming 'Live and Let Die' with the late, great Sir Roger Moore, he was very much preoccupied with the idea that the speedboat in which he raced was actually stationary, and what was happening was that the water and world around him was being rotated at high speed by forces unknown. Of course, absolute professional that he was, no one could have guessed what was going on his mind, as he was, as ever, 'Shaken not stirred'!

    And so I invite you all to contribute your mad thoughts here. It can be any small thing from your day-to-day life - in fact, some might say, the smaller the better! Or you could just try to dazzle us all with something truly mad.
    Some examples of mad thoughts from my own life.

    • What if birds get speeding fines if they fly too fast, and a magpie just appears from behind a tree and demands they pay an on-the-spot penalty of three worms?

    • What if the horizon is just a one-dimensional 'trompe L'oeil' propped up by gigantic cardboard struts, and if there was a sufficiently strong wind, the whole thing would just blow over?

    • I see an old lady waiting for the bus, the same time every morning. But what if, one morning, instead of stepping on to the bus, she just 'merged' with it like the T-1000 liquid Terminator?

    Thank you all very much! Thank you!



  • • What if the reason church steeples are pointy is in case The Devil tries to skydive in some demons, and they'll be impaled?

    • When you see a hawk just hovering, y'know, and you think, 'oh, he must be watching a mouse' - what if he's actually being held in place by your own telekinesis?

    • What if the Sun 'Are you gonna bingo?' woman is actually an alien sent to hypnotise us, and 'bingo' is the alien code-word for 'commit terrorist atrocity'?



  • What if Neo was really a 1980's high school student who traveled through time with his awesome friend and they built the matrix in the far future and forgot all about it?





    • What if, in legendary times, the first, 'original' cat could speak perfect English --in a really deep James Earl Jones voice--, but then he accidentally swallowed a stylophone, and that's why they now just make weird meowing noises?


  • Just ...wow, @AuroraFan - my mind is blown. I know this is called 'Mad Thoughts', but ...I think there's a further layer of Sci-Fi abstraction that involves John Wick, but we can only go so far down the rabbit hole.



  • What if, during the classic 'Bucks Fizz' Eurovision dance routine where the men ripped the women's skirts off, it hadn't been pre-planned?



  • You know when you go in a charity shop, or a second hand bookshop, and the shelves are just dense with generic paperback thrillers -- what if God is so confident that no one will read them that He's unwilling to waste any processing power giving them any actual content, and if we were to open one of them, it'd just be page after page of blank paper?






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