How do I forget about this girl?



  • So I was at this exchange programme in Canada. where I met this girl. Gorgeous, kind and funny. We went out a couple times and I was falling for her and she said she likes me too. But then she kinda disapeared on me and then later told me she does like me, but dating isnt a priority in her life at the moment and we live far away anyway. Now I do get that this means, this whole thing just didnt mean as much to her and I accept it even though it hurts. Altough i'm positive she did like me, I do think, when she'll meet the real deal she will make dating a priority no matter what. Or at least I hope she will. It'd be still difficult to forget about her, but point is, the way it ended just felt so fake, wrong and so unfinished. I always had similar experiences back home, but it didnt stress me cause I thought: well she lives in the same town, same country even, I'll run into her and make it right. But in this case, we live so far away and I know I'll never talk to or see her again, and that knowledge feels overwhelming. Never is a long time. There are so many things left in me to say, but there's noone to say it to. When I saw on social media that she went back home, I felt demolished. It sounds stupid, but I just wanted our last ever interaction to be something true and genuine. I'll always regret this.



  • @johngds4 There is no answer to this. Nobody can truly be EXACTLY in your shoes and what you feel is what you feel. I can tell you that you being able to express this so well into words is light years beyond most men and has already helped you with the healing process by recognizing it. You nailed it. It's unfair & it sucks, but that is honestly life. What you can do is realize that this world offers something that you really connected with and "cache" this experience into the "death bed memory banks" for the highlight reel at the end of life. You don't meet many unicorns in your lifetime. I'm an old man now and I can tell you that I still have not forgotten about the ballet dancer I met on a ski trip who I spent two awesome hours with just sitting on the floor of a hotel hallway because she was locked out of her room waiting for her parents. Maybe it was because I was the best version of myself in that moment and said everything right and wished every interaction could be that smooth in life. Maybe it was something chemical inside her that spoke to something chemical inside me like the perfect energy or magnetism. Maybe it's because neither of us saw it coming or planned it. And, of course, it's the old human nature of wanting what we can't have when it's over. That drives us all nuts. She did the same to me. Wouldn't even answer my calls until her father told me she's a busy girl and to leave her alone. It ruined the specialness and made me question if the moment was authentic or not. But I KNOW it was. And I know I made an impact on her too. I could see it & sense it just like you see it and sense it. The easy answer for you is there will be others. Sure, you'll compare them to her for awhile and they won't be her, but they will offer other traits that make you forget about her bit by bit over time. The important thing is you got "out there". You took a bite of real life. You're 'feeling' it. Good or toxic feelings are ultimately your choice because you can ONLY control how you feel. So you can choose to take the high road and "delete" the ending. That's what I have done over time. Now, all I remember is the way she looked at me like she was melting with every word out of my mouth and how hard I made her laugh. I remember the dimples and then the serious sideways look she'd give me after the laugh. A look that said she wishes she could pack me up in her suitcase and take me with her. And that's ALL I need to remember in the end and the same goes for you. You're going to have so many memories in the life that you need to go back and edit and make them fit you. It's a survival technique that works. That's my two cents. And good for you for this experience. It's very close to as good as it gets in life so don't block it out just because she flaked after. Edit that sh1t out. haha



  • @johngds4 idk, wanna play minecraft with me, get distracted ?



  • @Gretta Thanks, I have dated another one after her, but was just distraction. I'll try anyway though:)



  • @ChainedRebel Thank you! So nicely put. I understand what you mean. When I was dating her, I was wondering: "Why am I doing this? It's meaningless. I'm gonna have to go home evetually. What's the point?", but as soon as I was sure, I lost her it became very clear. I met this wonderful human being and that doesn't happen every day. So a part of me was sad, but another part was just grateful. So I knew, it wasn't meaningless after all:)


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    @Gretta

    AHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA



  • @johngds4 That's ALL we got in the very end man. Just fragments of memories. Some are big regrets and some our "treasures". As my Grandad said to me when he was at the end, nobody looks back on life and says "I should have worked more often". It's always the little, special moments that stand out that we remember the most. The rest is just a blur.



  • @johngds4 go to a strip club





  • Sorry. Find another girl. They are out there, very easy. I'm easy.



  • did you get her number anything? if you do im sure intereacting with her wouldnt hurt anything maybe you'll meet again 🙂
    but if sadly you have no way to reach her then thats just how things go... the way i look at it is you'll go threw this type of stuff like 1000 more time, me personally met a girl at a carnival and liked her and never got her number so i i was kinda bummed out years later same shit lol so i guess its just part of life lol well in my life, yours might have a more happier ending lol



  • @RandomCitizen123 I could reach her, but I would never do it. Not because I'm afraid, but it just wouldn't do any good, would only cause her inconvenience, which I don't want. It's how it has to be, but knowing that doesn't really help. I guess it just wasn't meant to be:(.






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