• Me and the guy i was in a (sexlationship) with got into a little disagreement before i left college for the break? He got upset bc I didnt givehim back his dvds before the break lol so i told him be would have to wait til i return in january. well that blew up he calls me the next day we argue i ask” if you want me to leave you alone tell me so i won’t be in your way”? he just leaves me on read ? why wont he just tell me so this can be done ?

  • @nunu23

    Apart from the things both @Durwin and @pe7erpark3r mentioned, there is also a 3rd possibility and quite honestly I can see myself doing it. And no, don't get me wrong, I would NEVER ghost someone / give me the silent treatment, that's just a childish way to settle things. Silence never settles things... but anyway, i'm sidetracking, what I wanna say is that he could have been hurt/offended at "if you want me to leave you alone tell me so i won’t be in your way". This is something that would hit me right on my weak spot if someone I was dating would tell me and would automatically make me curl into a defense stance...
    I don't know how your man thinks, so I won't assume anything, but if he's someone that overthinks a alot or is someone, somewhat negative, he can grasp another meaning in those words. Either way, don't let the silence win over the relationship, try to get back at him and talk with him, whatever the reason is, it will be very sad to break up cuz of some dvds, especially cuz there's alot of streaming websites nowadays! :smirk:

  • @nunu23 Sorry to hear of your situation... it's never a good thing when people argue, let alone over something that starts off being perceived as something small as dvd's.
    In many cases this smaller event could be an excuse for things unspoken....
    Both men and women, for some strange reason, get into relationships and feel that they can't communicate how they feel about the relationship (for many different reasons). Then you get something that, quite frankly, shouldn't be such an issue.
    It does sound like this was an excuse to crate a situation that would lead to the demise of the relationship.
    Speaking purely from the male perspective.... these are some of the reasons that maybe this has come to what it has.

    • 1 Maybe things had been moving to fast for your man
    • 2 Maybe he had been trying to express how he was feeling but couldn't (then the excuse for a fight arrived)
    • 3 This is always the chance that a third party is involved and he's feeling guilty over that, so gives you shite as a shield
    • 4 Of course there is always the possibility that he's gonna miss you so bad he didn't know how to react and the dvd's, again, gave an excuse to express
      The bottom line to this is that men are really not the best at expressing how they feel and in many cases it takes something small and apparently insignificant for them to show any form of emotion.
      We (men), as a species, often let things build up, let them grow and this results with inner turmoil that makes the situation worse.....

    I hope for you that your guy is no cheating and that he just does not know how to express the fact he is going to miss you. Us men are wimps at sharing feeling But that does not, now or in the future, hold as a reason to leave someone hanging for such a time, simply not knowing

    I hope things work out and get better for your sooner rather than later.

  • @nunu23 That is a good question. Why doesn't he just say it? I certainly prefer direct people but many people are not direct. I have 2 options for you, that came to mind right now:

    1. He is scared. He might be scared of being let go. He might be scared of what you might say if he dumps you. He might be scared of being hated by you. He could easily be scared about both continueing a relationship that and about ending it.

    2. He feels guilty. He feels guilty about his reaction, because it's just some DVDs and yet he might be hurt because you did not care about his DVDs (thus about him). And then he waited too long. That's a problem I have too. I wait too long and then saying anything feels really awkward and I just can't bring myself to say it anymore.

    If you want my advice: you should do what you would wish him to do: be direct and say "I don't want to spend my time feeling crappy because of you" and return his DVDs somehow. Be direct, end it. Would certainly make you sympathetic too me. Your question suggests you would not be too unhappy about it.

  • Because we're fucking idiots that don't know how to say what we feel and ruin our relationships with the people we love...

  • @nunu23 That's weird...Maybe he doesn't want to leave u :shrug:

  • Honestly just give the man his DVD's back, why the f<uck did you take them?
    No wonder he is pissed, like id be pissed if the gurl im fcking steals my sht 2
    That's the mistery here "dating experts haha XD"

  • Cause they don't freaking care

  • id like to get to the day when POLITICIANS can answer straightforwardly!

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