Have you ever loved someone who will never feel the same with you?



  • I'm bisexual and I like this girl. But she has a boyfriend, and she's straight. We are super close friends but i tell her how i feel about her, it's really impossible that she feels the same way. And today, she's gonna fetch him at the airport because its a long distance relationship. And i just can't stop thinking about them like I am jealous of the guy. Okay that's all.



  • @leah24 I feel like, you can't force sexuality on someone. I mean, if she was bi or something, fucking go for it. But there's nothing you can do. A lot of people don't know the difference between loving someone as their bestie and actually loving someone, Cause you get closer to your bestie and you share everything together. Maybe the feelings towards her are just confusing. If you weren't bi, you probably would have just had the exact same feelings towards her, but you would have a better understanding of the feeling.

    I've been in this situation before, because my best friend and I get drunk together a lot and we sleep in the same bed. Our relationship then and right now is like he's my boyfriend. Which we chatted about and we sorted everything out. Nothing changed about our relationship,. I just don't get jealous when he gives attention to other girls and there is no confusion.

    Think you should take a moment so your heart and brain can catch up. Before doing anything you'll regret.

    Goodluck!


  • Global Moderator

    I've been there in the past, spent so much time with this girl ... got to know her through an through. We hung out, spent sooo much time together. I was single, she never had a relationship for as long as I knew. She even seemed to feel the same way ( well some degree anyhow )... friends of ours thought the same things being the observers to our friendship.
    I decided to put myself out there, tell her how I was feeling, see what happens.
    This didn't go great , but it didn't seem to go down to bad either. She was surprised by how I was feeling.
    Didn't hear from her for a while.... I understandably thought I had lost my closest friend.
    After a few weeks she came to see me, explained that she didn't feel the same way. It was like a knuckle sandwich to the jaw. We did however remain friends, it did change ... She only seemed to come round when she needed something, when she was broke. I did what I always did, helped her out, gave her somewhere to stay, somewhere to go.
    At this point in my life I had never been introduced to the 'Friend Zone'
    In the end the relationship broke down. I never resented her, but I could never say no if she needed help... I had to stand up , be strong and say," Enough is enough".
    You can only be used for so long....
    On the whole the falling for a friend is a very difficult time, there are times that it works out, but sadly these times are few and far between. The majority of people would take the mick for there own ends. Sad but true.
    If you struggle with how your friend and the guy are, maybe try putting some distance between you and them. ...
    Trust me girl , I feel your pain. ❤



  • Ah... yes. I fell in love with a Watermelon once, but they had no interest in me. It is saddening.



  • @majesticowl this is very helpful thank you so much ❤



  • @leah24 don't be sad though. You haven't done anything wrong. It's the reality of the Matrix! Our consciousness was never meant to understand such a complex system as the reality. We like to dream and have expectations, we like to hope and believe, but the place and time we exist within the concept of existence is just a helples spec of dust in the ocean of causes and effects. What you can do never give up your chances that this chaos might actually bring you someone else, a spec of dust you never even considered to exist. And you will be happy again. Don't worry ok


  • Global Moderator

    @majesticowl dayum!!



  • Yes! It is one of the worst feeling. When you can give so much but can't receive any and now you're just empty.



  • Im bi and i loved a straight friend, too. I had felt the same way before i understood i never could be with him. Not because he don't want but because he just can't. I lost him because i didnt understand it. If you wanna carry on to be friends with her please dont repeat my mistakes. I think there is no worse idea then traing to make your friend your lover. She loves another man and you can do nothing with it, ecxept to try not to pay attention.



  • @leah24 OK. I'm straight but I know that feeling.. I've been there. "Sometimes, who we wish we were, what we wish we could do is just not meant to be" (Moana)

    When I was in sr high I had a thing for a guy which became my friend and my bestfriend's crush... And my bf has a high standard that's why it was a big deal crush... I decided to give up and make way for them because the guy talked to me about my bf, that he had feelings for her (outch on my part)...

    But... We got drunk, I kissed him and boom bye bye friendship... However, the wound become scar an my bf forgave me and we still bff until now for almost 10 years... I learn my lesson in hard way... So think more than twice before you move...



  • @leah24 but if you want you can tell her... "I have a special feeling for you. I'm not expecting for it to be reciprocated but I just want to tell you to release this heaviness inside me because it is unhealthy. Yeah. Awkward. Can we still be friends like usual?" What do you think? The heaviness is not like a burden or a bothersome feeling but still makes you unease so... Go ahead and release it.



  • @leah24 that is too bad. Threre is very little that you can do. Exactly there is only one thing you can do. Go clean with her! It is what it is. But be aware: sometimes, it is better to let go. Sometimes that wind from within you that you feel, that confidence in doing the right thing, that wind can take you too close to the Sun my dear Ikarus! Sometimes doing the right thing has bad consequences, especially on friendship. I'm sorry I don't have any easy answers.



  • @hapax-legomenon i guess ill just have to move on



  • @hapax-legomenon thank you so much ❤



  • @breilx0x0 I tried that and it is so awkward. He was in a relationship and so was I but I didn't know how to hold it in, and maybe like the young lady here, I might have confused a close friendship with something far beyond. Dang it.






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