I would prefer very much not to be "remembered".
I found out that to be remembered can be heavy.
It's harder to live up to the standards of those who died, than to those of them still alive. One can almost always ask forgiveness of living people.
How does one do? I made a promess and since the woman I made it to died, I've no other choice but to follow it: no "chance to explain why I could not keep it". So the bar stays as high as it could ever get.