@cjko the fact a banana gets dark spots doesn't mean it is rot. I understand there's a whole stigma around the banana's dark spots, which states that it is rotten and you're likely to die if you put your mouth in it, but I actually like that and I'm still here alive.
I would prefer very much not to be "remembered".
I found out that to be remembered can be heavy.
It's harder to live up to the standards of those who died, than to those of them still alive. One can almost always ask forgiveness of living people.
How does one do? I made a promess and since the woman I made it to died, I've no other choice but to follow it: no "chance to explain why I could not keep it". So the bar stays as high as it could ever get.
I think if you have control over your mind, you can persevere through most hard things.
like having good impulse control over addictive behaviors (constant social media usage for example) is the start. Then you slowly become self aware of addictive thoughts (social judgement for example) then you start controlling that.
Now, the only way it seems to actually CONTROL (misleading word) is to actually just stop doing it. Then you keep doing NOT doing it then it becomes a lifestyle. Then your brain will be hardwired to be self sufficient and truly independent --> you become a superhuman?
if you get there, you can then actually do long term gratification things rather than bunch of small nothings.
So, to sum up,
you identify addictive behaviors
you identify addictive thoughts stemming from the behavior
you detach/let go/stop doing whatever it is
you get used to not doing these very very fun and bad stuff for long enough
you are more able to persevere through long term projects in life (however, relapse is possible)
its not that you control anything, its that you aren't controlled by anything