• You know, people who always tell you things you like to hear are not your friends right? A real friend takes you to the side every once in a while, and tells you something about yourself, which is not so good. If he is a good friend, he'll try to find a way to say it, so that the words themselves don't hurt your feelings any more than necessary. And sometimes this love might also express itself in putting things quite clearly and in contrast, if he feels that's the only way to save you...

    I wouldn't want any friends that weren't like that. Somebody who's too scared to tell me the truth, somebody who's not prepared to lose me for doing something that is ultimately good for me just simply is not my friend...

    However, I realized something... if you want to be a true friend, you only ever force a confrontation as the last resort to save your friend... So instead I'll always give my friends the choice, if they want to hear what I have to say, since it is going to hurt.


  • @petrapark3r (takes to one side, speaks in undertone) What I'm about to say might hurt you, but I'm saying this because I'm yr friend - if you don't want to hear it, that's fine - rub your face on the keyboard and it will go away. But If you want to hear what I've got to say, that's fine, we'll get through this together. IT'S ALL FINE.

    Ready?

    Your profile pic looks like you've just slammed-dunked a basketball, but from a position perched on a ledge ABOVE THE HOOP on the gym wall, which is bad sportsmanship.

    I recommend something like this:

    sp.jpg

    Rockin the cool black costume that everybody loves, and also a "Are you lookin at me?" vibe.


  • @Indrid-Cold said in What do you think makes a true friend?:

    @petrapark3r **...

    :joy: good one :joy:


  • @Indrid-Cold Well, on this action shot, I just slam dunked one of my arch enemies directly into a high security prison cell.

    Also I'm a woman, if I do it, it's not bad sportsmanship. It's just fair against straight white men with their built in privilege innit?


  • @petrapark3r I didn't realise that. It's like, tie up Octavius' tentacles in a big ball, drop him at Rikers Island, then say to Trump, "THAT'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN 2 U IF YOU EVER TRY TO GRAB ME BY THE P".


  • @petrapark3r Defining a true friend is hard. There can be multiple things that people expect from a 'true' friend, but as humans, we make errors. Does making a mistake deem someone as an untrue friend?
    I think in order for anyone to be a true friend, they have to be true to themselves. They have to be as loyal to their friends as they are to themselves. Just as honest, trustworthy, all that jelly.
    I think this is important because to me, a true friend, means that you know them and who they are as a person, not just who they present themselves to be. Some friends are very honest, trust worthy, and all the other things you would want in a friend, yet you still might not really know who they are a person.
    This is expected most of the time. No one ever really shows their true colors, they just show the part they want everyone else to see, but alone, they are different.
    Lets take an easy example, the "N" word, it is in a lot of music and is used commonly amongst many people now. It is said that if youre not black then you cant say it, yet so many other people still crave to say it, so they do. They say it to themselves, maybe even to their friends, or just behind closed doors, but yet if theyre not black, chances are they wont say it infront of another black person.
    This makes sense, they wont say it out of caution, they don't know how the person will react or they don't want to offend. However, in that situation, I wouldn't think that person is true. Not to themselves or the people they are around, cause they are hiding the kind of person they really are.
    This might be a bad example, I just had a discussion with my friend about this the other day so it was the first one that popped into my head, but my point is, I think I only consider someone a true friend if they can be true to themselves as they are alone than they are with me and others.


  • @OliveOlivia said in What do you think makes a true friend?:

    @petrapark3r Defining a true friend is hard. There can be multiple things that people expect from a 'true' friend, but as humans, we make errors. Does making a mistake deem someone as an untrue friend?
    :foot

    Of course not... a friend asks for forgivesness and forgives...

    I think in order for anyone to be a true friend, they have to be true to themselves. They have to be as loyal to their friends as they are to themselves. Just as honest, trustworthy, all that jelly.

    Agreed.

    I think this is important because to me, a true friend, means that you know them and who they are as a person, not just who they present themselves to be. Some friends are very honest, trust worthy, and all the other things you would want in a friend, yet you still might not really know who they are a person.

    I'm not sure I understand :thinking_face:

    This is expected most of the time. No one ever really shows their true colors, they just show the part they want everyone else to see, but alone, they are different.
    Lets take an easy example, the "N" word, it is in a lot of music and is used commonly amongst many people now. It is said that if youre not black then you cant say it, yet so many other people still crave to say it, so they do. They say it to themselves, maybe even to their friends, or just behind closed doors, but yet if theyre not black, chances are they wont say it infront of another black person.
    This makes sense, they wont say it out of caution, they don't know how the person will react or they don't want to offend. However, in that situation, I wouldn't think that person is true. Not to themselves or the people they are around, cause they are hiding the kind of person they really are.

    You are right. Only if you are the same person in front of one group, as you are in front of another (apart from some social conventions of course that vary with the occasion) and the same person when you talk to yourself in your head, only then are you real and true.

    And no matter how hard someone tries, if they are not true to themselves when noone notices, they will also not be able to be true to themselves when they are around you. So yeah. I feel you...

    This might be a bad example, I just had a discussion with my friend about this the other day so it was the first one that popped into my head, but my point is, I think I only consider someone a true friend if they can be true to themselves as they are alone than they are with me and others.

  • Global Moderator

    @petrapark3r Friends are present anytime and everywhere but true friends are so rare and hard to find.. True friendship cant start instantly but takes time to build, it is mutually a give and take process..

    1. A true friend may not share every detail of every second of his/her life but always try to be clear about their intentions. They are also honest with words regardless if it is good or bad.
    2. A true friend thou cant read your mind notices how life affects you, a tf is fairly a good listener. Never will be judgemental.
    3. True friends make you better not bitter meaning he/she brings out the best in you, loves who you are and embraces your flaws and wont drag you into situation that makes you put at risk of losing something that matters like your trust and respect, tf never bitch about you behind your back.
    4. True friends must be genuine beings ,they dont succumb to the idea that money,looks,ranks and accreditation is everything.
    5. Everything that is not motivated by true affection,is not true friendship ,so better be friends to all but trust only few but true.. :-)

  • @Bela-Hella said in What do you think makes a true friend?:

    @petrapark3r Friends are present anytime and everywhere but true friends are so rare and hard to find.. True friendship cant start instantly but takes time to build, it is mutually a give and take process..

    True.

    1. A true friend may not share every detail of every second of his/her life but always try to be clear about their intentions. They are also honest with words regardless if it is good or bad.

    Yeah, that's the most important one!

    1. A true friend thou cant read your mind notices how life affects you, a tf is fairly a good listener. Never will be judgemental.

    Good point!

    1. True friends make you better not bitter meaning he/she brings out the best in you, loves who you are and embraces your flaws and wont drag you into situation that makes you put at risk of losing something that matters like your trust and respect, tf never bitch about you behind your back.

    Yap, you need to respect confidentiality to be able to be a good friend. Never say private things to another, not even if the friendship ends for some reason...

    1. True friends must be genuine beings ,they dont succumb to the idea that money,looks,ranks and accreditation is everything.

    Yeah, if any of those things was everything for them, how in the world could you trust them? They'd just sell you, once the price is right...

    1. Everything that is not motivated by true affection,is not true friendship ,so better be friends to all but trust only few but true.. :-)

    Affection... Hmm... I believe a sociopath can also be a good friend, even though he can't feel a thing. Maybe. Have no sociopathic friend :shrug:... But I think it's choices matter more than feelings!


  • Loyalty.


  • @Andrew-M13-Gay said in What do you think makes a true friend?:

    Loyalty.

    A word that says so much :open_mouth:


  • I also think to find a true friend you'll have to be a true friend. I know this sounds weird but ill try to explain:

    When you yourself are not honest, loyal, trustworthy, straightforward, or anything you expect from a true friend you wont be able to find one because you will

    • not recognize that you have a person who could be a true friend in front of you
    • because you cannot trust them to be honest since you yourself are not
    • destroy the blossoming friendship at some point through your own deceitfulness

    in short you will never be able have a true friend... so if you want to find a true friend, start changin. you can do it! :heart:.