@JeanneGenealogy consult the bro of the grandma of the father of your grandma's grandfather.
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@OliveOlivia are you a horny female?
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@Matt_Aranha Offered perspective is helpful and appreciated but mental health comes first! Im sorry if this topic was a trigger
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@OliveOlivia OMG noooooo not at all!! I'm thinking more about your wellbeing right now!! I'm fine, I promise.
Don't get me wrong I do have triggers 😂 but this topic is fine 🙂
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@OliveOlivia mental health is a choice that only comes from with in you. Your happiness and love are only to be controlled by you. Never let anyone get the best of you my love.
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@OliveOlivia tell me this are you are overly sexual? Elaborate on this my dear cause it all be a facade
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@OliveOlivia talk to me love
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You know what? I get it. I'm in a very similar spot. I just turned 20 and I have never really had a good relationship with my mother, in fact, so bad that I moved out as soon as possible. My grandmother basically raised me, and my mom lived there the whole time, but she never really felt like a "mom" to me (dad isn't in the picture and I don't really care) . I'm on my own now and honestly I started seeing older woman as attractive and looking at milf stuff and similar topics. Let me be the first to say that I don't find my mother attractive at all, but there is definitely something I am looking for. Maybe it's "mommy issues" but I don't know. Just kinda just wanting female attention and contact. Seems rough. My name is Jay, and if you think we share something and you want to talk it through, go ahead, I'm always open. Maybe we'll get somewhere.
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@Megaman20 I completely understand the situation of liking older people that posses parent qualities but not being attracted to your parent in any way! Thank you for sharing that, if you ever want to talk I am here! :)
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Things we don't resolve will haunt us as long as we live.
Just take any old memory (older than 2 years) that still really stings emotionally when you go through it. Like, maybe you hurt someone really badly, or someone hurt you. Then go through that memory, and really really think about what you did wrong, and what you could have done better. This means you'll be able to take responsibility.
Once you have realized what you could have done differently, you'll also be able to recognize what you couldn't have changed. Both go hand in hand, because now you can also stop blaming yourself and admit that the other (or the situation) is at fault for.
The memory will only be resolved if you do this truthfully, if you take responsibility where you really have it (and could have changed something) and if you give away responsibility where you don't have it (and the other is at fault).
Similarly it goes with the wounds of our childhood and upbringing. We'll have to properly acknowledge what went wrong, how it went wrong, and who was responsible and also understand our feelings and maybe even allow them first. (many people tend to suppress anger)...
However this is something very very personal and propably impossible to do here. Thank god there are people who are actually getting paid for talking with you about these kinds of things and never say a word to anybody else. And maybe in your country you don't even have to pay for it yourself. But if a professional counselor is not an option, you might also talk to a spiritual person (pastor) or find someone trustworthy and truly understanding in your social circle.
Anyways, my advice is to go at this, and to find someone to talk about it. Someone who doesn't use you...
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Great juxtaposition :joy:
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@petrapark3r I understand what youre saying but I think this is something that is hard to revisit and try to recognize where the blame lies. This situation isn't something that just happened when I was little it has been my whole life and still is, I don't even know where responsibility can be taken when I've been nothing more than a naïve child, unaware of what a father figure was supposed to be. I don't think I could blame my dad either, I'm his child so I'm sure he loves me -at least I hope😂-I just don't think he knows how to really be a dad either, and I cant blame him for that. I think all I can do now is recognize that the problems exists and try to be more aware of the choices we both make.
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@OliveOlivia said in E N T R Y:
@petrapark3r I understand what youre saying but I think this is something that is hard to revisit and try to recognize where the blame lies. This situation isn't something that just happened when I was little it has been my whole life and still is, I don't even know where responsibility can be taken when I've been nothing more than a naïve child, unaware of what a father figure was supposed to be. I don't think I could blame my dad either, I'm his child so I'm sure he loves me -at least I hope😂-I just don't think he knows how to really be a dad either, and I cant blame him for that. I think all I can do now is recognize that the problems exists and try to be more aware of the choices we both make.
The example with the old memory was more about showing that these things have a very real impact on our current day lives and also that they can be resolved in a very real way.
Talking about things, really talking about what you feel right now, and what you felt in your past, with someone who does not judge you and just accepts you in the here and now, can do wonders. Seriously. Read up on Carl Rogers if you want to get an idea what I'm talking about. Genius of relationships that man.
Responsibility is something other than blame. Maybe talking about things deeply makes it possible to give responsibility where it belongs, maybe not, but it will allow you to grow, I have no doubt.
