Posts made by Jumper Cable Guy

@simmy-persaud

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Candles are years
Happy Birthday to you lovely stranger !

Cakes & Candles for you 🤩 :birthday_cake: 🎉 🎂 🥳

@katiee I visited my aunt in the hospital to see my newborn cousin she just gave birth to and I asked her when his birthday was.

Truly big brain moment.

My dad was there too .
He laughed ,I laughed ,the whole family laughed .
We went home and then he beat me up with jumper cables.

Ikr . Every time I see a post like that its Like ... "Don't you have access to women who will do it for money?"

Sure Money can't buy love, but it can definitely buy a high-quality substitute.

The worst day of loveing someone is the day that you lose them..

@Rissa_TheBest An Elena Gilbert quote that was further expanded on by Dr Who

"It’s funny. The day you lose someone isn’t the worst - at least you’ve got something to do. It’s all the days they stay dead."

Angelina Jolie said about the death of her mother : "You don’t get over the death of your mother — I’m not sure I really want to — but you do get through it."

I wont sugarcoat and say even after a long time it will not hurt less .... but it will eventually hurt less often.

In my experience, you don't really do anything special or different to cope, you just do. It's cliche, but you just keep living and putting one foot in front of the other. Everyone says time heals, but it doesn't really. It just makes you forget more often.

Life can be good again, just in a different way.

Now coming to your emotional outbursts :

There is no 'right' technique. Each person does it in their particular way.

One important thing is self-acceptance. You feel what you feel, at that moment, and it's ok.

You will feel """unacceptable""" or """unseemly""" emotions at the most random of times.

Be gentle with yourself about that.

You are loved, you aren't alone, and (in case you need reminding) it's not your fault. HUG

Why , what were you expecting you Weirdo ?

One night he decides to visit it.

As he exits the elevator, he sees two other men: A classy, well-dressed bartender and a more blue-collar-looking patron in glasses. He sits down next to the patron and orders a drink.

The patron leans over to him and says, “First time here, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, let me show you the best part about this place.”

The patron quickly finishes his drink, walks to the edge of the roof, and jumps off. Just as the visitor gasps in horror, the patron floats back onto the roof.

The visitor looks on in amazement as the patron turns around and says “Pretty neat, right? This high up, the winds are so strong that if anyone gets too drunk and falls off the roof, the air current just blows them right back onto it! It’s a lot of fun!”

To prove his point, he runs off of the roof again, and once more, floats back onto it.

“Wow! That’s fantastic!” exclaims the visitor. “Let me try!”

The patron steps aside. The visitor runs to the edge and flings himself into the air. Much to his dismay, he drops like a rock, quickly picking up speed until he meets his untimely demise on the pavement below.

The patron hiccups and turns to the bartender, who is cleaning dishes. “Did you see that, Bruce? Pretty funny, right?”

The bartender looks up from the glass in his hand and shakes his head disapprovingly. “You’re an asshole when you’re drunk, Clark.”

Someone alive ... I couldn't possibly stand the stink coming off a dead corpse. :thinking_face:

But most important of all for me - Are they paying?!!!

If not ... Ig I'll have to settle for dead .

I can just enjoy lunch and not have to do talking, double lunch for me since they won't eat theirs, don't have to tidy up before they come round, and I know they won't say no to an after meal cuddle . :blush:

@Ghost800 Again its true you don't have to remember the truth but you have to remember all the lies you tell to avoid contradicting yourself.

But If a person always tells the truth he/she would probably shift to a cave or make a fortress of solitude .

For example - If someone doesn't like a person and he balantly tells him so, will this make the other guy feel good?

... How about the same answer to himself from any other guy or his/her crush ? ....

You likely wont hesitate to tell the truth to a stranger cause his/her opinion really doesnt mater to you in the long run

but How about if your mom/dad made your favorite food but unlike other days its not as good as you hoped it would be , would you say it in her face that it was bad and that her hard work was useless ?

Depending on the situation and your relationship with that person ,you might have to change your answer :)

@Gia28 You're welcome !

It takes a special kind of person to admit that they have a weakness and take steps to rectify that. You have my respect and support :slightly_smiling_face:

Haha but with the way you're going in the comments ,unless you have public speaking fright you really have nothing to worry about in communication ! You are doing REALLY great ^_^

Dude I completely agree ! Cheronobyl is probably less toxic than TWS pubchat. :laughing:

Its a bit like wild west out there lol

In general,Honesty is the best policy but presenting it in a right way is the key.

For example- Someone is poor in communication.

There are 2 ways to say it :

1. In Public - You are poor in communication. ( That is truth )
2. Also in Public - You are poor in communication but if you can improve by attending training it can be beneficial for you in future. (This is also truth ).

way 1 might hurt someone.
way 2 might improve someone without hurting.

Example 2 - Some one is very good in cricket.

1. One on one communication- You are very good in cricket. (That is truth)
2. In public - You are very good in cricket. (That is truth).

way 1 can make a person smile.
way 2 can make him happy.

Telling the truth is very good habit but when to say, where to say and how to say makes all the difference.

Way 1 might lead to loneliness.
if someone follow way 2 - he can earn trust and friends.

If my daughter 🙅‍♀️🤱 comes out as 🌈 GAY 🌈 I am SHIPPING HER OFF 🚂✈📫to a 👼CATHOLIC 👼 ⛪BOARDING SCHOOL⛪ because YOU KNOW🧠👀 those girls there are 👅F🤞R🤯E🤤A😍K💦Y👄 and 🚫🚫🚫no🚫🚫🚫 daughter of 👩MINE👧 will miss out on the BIGGEST 👭gay opportunity ever👭

Seriously tho , If my daughter 🙅‍♀️🤱 comes out as 🌈 GAY 🌈 I am going to accept 👩‍❤️‍👩 her beliefs 🏳️‍🌈💬 and help 👩🤜🤛👩🏼‍🦱her out through troubling 🤕💔 times and be the loving 💖👨 I am .

P.S. - In a Lesbian Tinder date who steals whose hoodie ?🤔

So first of all we have to explain how hitler was a dolphin. the Idea is in itself wrong, since hitler wasnt a dolphin, but dolphins are actually Hitler !!

How do I know that ? heres the evidence:

• No one has ever seen a dolphin before 1889.
  Seriously You could ask anyone.

• Dolphins love to do drugs.
  They sniff pufferfish all the time. Hitler was also a heavy drug user and even prescribed meth to his soldiers.

• No one has ever seen Hitler and dolphins in the same room together.
  Well ... thats because Dolphin is Hitler !!!

• No one has ever seen two dolphins in one room together either.
  Thats because there is just one dolphin and THATS Hitler.

• When Hitler "shot himself" he actually just left his mortal vessel behind (his human form) and transformed into a dolphin and swam away in the spree
  (thats the river that flows through Berlin) https://www.morgenpost.de/bezirke/reinickendorf/article211551815/Ein-Pottwal-auf-der-Spree-mit-der-Moby-Dick-nach-Mitte.html
  In this article you can read that whales have been spotted in the spree multiple times since then.

• And lastly but not the least
  Hitler "shot" himself with a "Walther PPK 7.65".
  Now if we change every letter to is correspondent number and the other way around we get 23112208518161611GFE.
  If we add all those numbers together we get 49 GFE. if we now change "GFE" back to numbers we get 49765 anf if we count all that together as well we get 31.
  If we take away the 3 (because who needs it anyway) we get 1.
  Now what is the 1st letter of the alphabet? A!
  What is hitlers 1st Name? Adolf!
  What happens when we take away the 1st letter of the alphabet that is also the 1st letter of hitlers 1st name?
  We are left with DOLF!!!!!
  ....OR MORE LIKE DOLFIN!!!
  THE PROOF IS OBVIOUS!!!!
  DOLPHINS ARE HITLER!!!!
  WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!!!!!!

I rest my case :sunglasses:

P.S. - I understand not everyone will understand my genius and Thats okay . Deep sigh The world is filled with unrealized potential .

It seems my efforts to educate my less intelligent classmates was a failure as I was forced to quiten myself due to the ignoable worm that fashons itself "History teacher" before I could even begin my thesis on Hitlers Antarctic bases and the Superweapon of Doom . :cry:

My male parental unit (aka father) was called to the principal and coming home he henceforth beat the shit out of me with jumper Cables.

-THE END-

@Ladydoall30 Awww ! Thats a really sweet thought :smile:

Heres another !

try to be interesting

The last time I was asked this question was at jury duty. I responded, "I have seen every episode of every Law& Order franchise."

I was the first one thrown out of the jury pool . smh :cry: :cry: :laughing:

@Ladydoall30

try to be interesting

I was bitten by a dolphin at Seaworld and it was made to apologize.

Now if you're thinking How the hell does a dolpin apologize?
Eeeeee-sorry-eeehehehehehe.

Well the dolphin babysitter guy made the culprit swim up and flip on his back so I could pet his belly. Then it splashed me as it turned and left...

....
On second thoughts it wasn't much of an apology.
He got petted and I got wetted. :thinking_face:
Fack dolphins! :middle_finger:

@Mickeyyyyy said in Whom you will save- friend or love??😶😶😶:

Guys if you ever stuck in a situation where the lives of your best friend and your love are at stake...

like ... they have both fallen in a lake and you need to decide whom to save ? :thinking_face:

Sure !

Let them save each other. I'm going home. Don't wanna get wet. :rolling_on_the_floor_laughing:

@Tatao Watch Hentai ... with subtitles .

@IssMeXavi Nooo , my voice is being silenced ! :joy:

Friends , countrymen - lend me your ears .

:laughing: :laughing:

Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and the 7 others died in a Jewish ritual sacrifice .

His daughter was 13, the most important number in Judaism (Maimonides' 13 principles of faith).

Kobe was 41.
4 in Kabbalah means a debt owed.
1 in Kabbalah means individualism and self-reliance.

He tried to be independent and resist them, but they felt he owed them, and the bill was past due !!

Kobe and the others died in a giant ball of fire.
Now Fire was used for burnt offerings in the First and Second Temples, and the Tabernacle before them.

It took place hours before the Grammy Awards, a heavily Judaic ceremony--which was to be held at the Staples Center!

They aren't even trying to hide it !!

I made this great and momentous revelation at the Easter table .

My dad henceforth beat the shit out of me with jumper cable .

@sarah_the_magpie Lol , that made me laugh :laughing: :laughing:

So if I say "choke me daddy!"
will you give me two Popeye's biscuits and no drink. :stuck_out_tongue: