Best posts made by Jumper Cable Guy

Jk ! That got your attention huh ?
Sorry no young nubile F/14s for you .. more like M/24 !

Dont give up ! Heres your daily dose of motivation .

Stop Grinding? The Grind Never Stops No Breaks We Stay Dream ChasingI don't get a break I'll be out here grinding Imma be chasing dreams while you're lounging the only thing i'm chasingis my dreamskeep grinding RIP grandmaRomans 8:1:folded_hands_medium-light_skin_tone:busy? you don't know what busy is fam i won'tever stop my grindnothing gets handed to me ‍️ I work for everything I got ️but we ain't done yet Nap? I don't know that word while you taking Z's I'm making W'sU snooze you losecan kill my ambition i will never stop grindingeven when im dead sleep is for the weak U mean my TEAM️ONE eats, we ALL eat We out here grindin' together THAT'S family

The worst day of loveing someone is the day that you lose them..

@Rissa_TheBest An Elena Gilbert quote that was further expanded on by Dr Who

"It’s funny. The day you lose someone isn’t the worst - at least you’ve got something to do. It’s all the days they stay dead."

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Angelina Jolie said about the death of her mother : "You don’t get over the death of your mother — I’m not sure I really want to — but you do get through it."

I wont sugarcoat and say even after a long time it will not hurt less .... but it will eventually hurt less often.

In my experience, you don't really do anything special or different to cope, you just do. It's cliche, but you just keep living and putting one foot in front of the other. Everyone says time heals, but it doesn't really. It just makes you forget more often.

Life can be good again, just in a different way.

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Now coming to your emotional outbursts :

There is no 'right' technique. Each person does it in their particular way.

One important thing is self-acceptance. You feel what you feel, at that moment, and it's ok.

You will feel """unacceptable""" or """unseemly""" emotions at the most random of times.

Be gentle with yourself about that.

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You are loved, you aren't alone, and (in case you need reminding) it's not your fault. HUG

Teachers be like : "The door being coloured blue represents sadness and dispair !"

By it being a door, it shows the reader that sadness can be opened. Furthermore, what the author is trying to express is sadness can be stopped. You just have to open your mind (the door represents the mind) for new people and ideas.

Therefore, the door’s blue color impacts the reader’s thinking on how sadness can be prevented !!

Or -

"Is the blue door open, or is it closed? If the blue door is closed, it represents shutting out feelings of despair and sadness. If the the blue door is open, it represents willingness to open up to the feelings of sadness and despair."

All the Students : ...Well KAREN , MAYBE ITS CAUSE THE AUTHOR SIMPLY LIKED THE COLOUR BLUE ?!!

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Once I was learning about Shakespeare, and my teachers glorified him saying how he was a genius for swapping the subject, verb and object order in his work.

But when I did it, I got an F !!

sigh My dad saw my grade and without saying anything got inside & came back out & beat the shit out of me with a pair of Jumper Cables .

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What are your experience with Teachers analyzing the Living shit out of Literature guys ?

When I was 16 we went camping at Big Bear Lake: me, my dad, my sister , and my dog Hotdog .

Hotdog was a great little dog - with his shiny fur & golden mane Hotdog probably looked very hot & appetizing to other Dogs especially of the Female Variety.

Furthermore he was my in with the ladies !
Never had such an effective wing-man existed Nor has there ever been such deep Inter-species co-operation in the pursuit of Appreciation of the Beauty of the Fine Ladies God has gifted us .

And if the lady had a dog too ? - Well it was a match made in heaven ! Double dates for the both of us for the price of one !

But anyways I digress , We had to stop off at a sporting goods store to buy bait, and my dad and sister went in while I stayed outside to watch Hotdog . ^_^

While they were inside an old man with a beard walked over to me and started talking about how great a dog he was.

He started petting him a lot and then took Hotdog's leash off and picked him up, hugging him and laughing while Hotdog licked his face.

Suddenly he turned around and carried Hotdog to his truck, then tossed him inside and drove off. I was stunned in disbelief, and I deeply regret not confronting him.

When my dad came back outside the first thing he said was "where's my Hotdog?" and I told him about the old guy.

We drove around for the next 4 hours looking for the truck and talking to various park rangers but we never found him.

When we got back to the campgrounds my dad lost his temper and beat the shit out of me with a set of jumper cables.

The car ride back was completely silent until my dad uttered "I bet that old man ate our Hotdog . Lotta homeless around these parts."

....

....

My dad didn't see it, but I shed a few tears.

@Indrid-Cold I call my Dick "Truth" & myself as "Reality."

So you can say My dick is the "Truth of Reality."

Its usually hidden in my pants , so its the "Hidden Truth of Reality."

The point of the matter is that the Hidden Truth of Reality is hard . The Hidden Truth of Reality is disappointing.

So first of all we have to explain how hitler was a dolphin. the Idea is in itself wrong, since hitler wasnt a dolphin, but dolphins are actually Hitler !!

How do I know that ? heres the evidence:

• No one has ever seen a dolphin before 1889.
  Seriously You could ask anyone.

• Dolphins love to do drugs.
  They sniff pufferfish all the time. Hitler was also a heavy drug user and even prescribed meth to his soldiers.

• No one has ever seen Hitler and dolphins in the same room together.
  Well ... thats because Dolphin is Hitler !!!

• No one has ever seen two dolphins in one room together either.
  Thats because there is just one dolphin and THATS Hitler.

• When Hitler "shot himself" he actually just left his mortal vessel behind (his human form) and transformed into a dolphin and swam away in the spree
  (thats the river that flows through Berlin) https://www.morgenpost.de/bezirke/reinickendorf/article211551815/Ein-Pottwal-auf-der-Spree-mit-der-Moby-Dick-nach-Mitte.html
  In this article you can read that whales have been spotted in the spree multiple times since then.

• And lastly but not the least
  Hitler "shot" himself with a "Walther PPK 7.65".
  Now if we change every letter to is correspondent number and the other way around we get 23112208518161611GFE.
  If we add all those numbers together we get 49 GFE. if we now change "GFE" back to numbers we get 49765 anf if we count all that together as well we get 31.
  If we take away the 3 (because who needs it anyway) we get 1.
  Now what is the 1st letter of the alphabet? A!
  What is hitlers 1st Name? Adolf!
  What happens when we take away the 1st letter of the alphabet that is also the 1st letter of hitlers 1st name?
  We are left with DOLF!!!!!
  ....OR MORE LIKE DOLFIN!!!
  THE PROOF IS OBVIOUS!!!!
  DOLPHINS ARE HITLER!!!!
  WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!!!!!!

I rest my case

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P.S. - I understand not everyone will understand my genius and Thats okay . Deep sigh The world is filled with unrealized potential .

It seems my efforts to educate my less intelligent classmates was a failure as I was forced to quiten myself due to the ignoable worm that fashons itself "History teacher" before I could even begin my thesis on Hitlers Antarctic bases and the Superweapon of Doom .

My male parental unit (aka father) was called to the principal and coming home he henceforth beat the shit out of me with jumper Cables.

-THE END-

@Jesssssss Ahh yesss , I see we have ourselves a gathering of Furries.

My Fursona is The Unicorn -for I too am often drunk and wasted ! ^_^

I mean once I was brought in front of a Judge for it too . "You've been brought here for Drinking and Molesting women"

Me : "Great ,Lets get Started !!"

Why , what were you expecting you Weirdo ?

@Sij Life cycle of the male sex drive

Age 16-32 : Tri-weekly

Ages 32-55: Try-weekly

Over 55: Try-weakly

@Ladydoall30

try to be interesting

I was bitten by a dolphin at Seaworld and it was made to apologize.

Now if you're thinking How the hell does a dolpin apologize?
Eeeeee-sorry-eeehehehehehe.

Well the dolphin babysitter guy made the culprit swim up and flip on his back so I could pet his belly. Then it splashed me as it turned and left...

....
On second thoughts it wasn't much of an apology.
He got petted and I got wetted.
Fack dolphins!

Woahhh ...A fellow Nigerian prince ! Only you solicit love instead of money

rEsPeKtEd sIr/mAdAm I nEEd yOuR hElp , fOlLoWinG lEtTeR wIlL exPLaIn eVeRyThiNg,

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Hello,

My name is Adewole Yoruba III and I am Nigerian prince of Uganda,

I have fled my land becuase bad peole have attacked my village. I need your help,friend. I need $1000 to helpym people, friend. I need you to sned emt this money and i promise ou on my lion Baboo's grave that i will pay you back greater, friend! I will make you rich and my people will praise youas the white God you arwe/ friend

You will find the bank links in the files I sent, friend. PLease hurry! My people need help!

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P.S. - If you send money ,I will send you love. Lots of love ,the best of loves . I am the best lover . My uncle Yoddledoodle Aruba III was a great professor and scientist and lover, had a great harem of 100 wives ; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, graduated from the "Cummy school of being Casanova" , very good, very smart— some people mistake cummy with being scummy , but you and I know the difference. We're smart people - you and I . No one can fool us, nooo sireee !

P.P.S - Send moolah.

In general,Honesty is the best policy but presenting it in a right way is the key.

For example- Someone is poor in communication.

There are 2 ways to say it :

1. In Public - You are poor in communication. ( That is truth )
2. Also in Public - You are poor in communication but if you can improve by attending training it can be beneficial for you in future. (This is also truth ).

way 1 might hurt someone.
way 2 might improve someone without hurting.

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Example 2 - Some one is very good in cricket.

1. One on one communication- You are very good in cricket. (That is truth)
2. In public - You are very good in cricket. (That is truth).

way 1 can make a person smile.
way 2 can make him happy.

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Telling the truth is very good habit but when to say, where to say and how to say makes all the difference.

Way 1 might lead to loneliness.
if someone follow way 2 - he can earn trust and friends.

@Mickeyyyyy said in Whom you will save- friend or love??:

Guys if you ever stuck in a situation where the lives of your best friend and your love are at stake...

like ... they have both fallen in a lake and you need to decide whom to save ?

Sure !

Let them save each other. I'm going home. Don't wanna get wet.

@AllAboutGay By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the Bible correctly:

"A man who lays with another man should be stoned." [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

....I never guessed getting stoned would help the bible make so much more sense.

@Gia28 You're welcome !

It takes a special kind of person to admit that they have a weakness and take steps to rectify that. You have my respect and support

Haha but with the way you're going in the comments ,unless you have public speaking fright you really have nothing to worry about in communication ! You are doing REALLY great ^_^

@frencha I did ... until I saw a guy fight 5 guys in the bar with an umbrella IN a Tuxedo .

That shit made a believer out of me.

@sarah_the_magpie My girlfriend said if this post gets 1000 upvotes she'll give up her anal virginity tonight!

Please don't.

She's out of town on business until Tuesday.

@sarah_the_magpie What is sex ? you ask ...

Husband : A minute of PLEASURE,
then years of PRESSURE!

Wife : Moments of ECSTASY,
followed by decades of SLAVERY!

Mistress : Just stolen TIME,
but never MINE!

Hooker : NEXT!

So in total - Sex is a temptation , Caused by a sensation Where a boy sticks his location Into a girls destination To increase the population Of the next generation Did you get my explanation Or do you need a demonstration ?

@simmy-persaud

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Candles are years
Happy Birthday to you lovely stranger !

Cakes & Candles for you 🥳

@sarah_the_magpie Lol , that made me laugh

So if I say "choke me daddy!"
will you give me two Popeye's biscuits and no drink.