What I've understood about relationships, what about you?

[Div]

1. Women fall in love with the story, the fairytale, especially when they are teen and those who don’t get out of that, get hurt the most because, they don’t fall in love with the man but the validation of the man.

2. Attraction/Lust/Infatuation isn’t a choice, It is instant. With what you see on the first sight, with how you feel at a certain moment, with the situation. It just happens, and you can not do anything about it.

3. Love is a choice. When the honey moon phase ends, and the chemicals wear off. You start to realise, he/she isn't such an epitome of a human I think it was, what the flying fuck am I doing here. And at that moment, either you can leave, or Love.

4. If a woman initiates a relationship, then she Needs your Validation, do not deprave her of it. She will keep pushing the boundary, just to get you to notice her, validate her. And when enough attention isn't given, insecurity rises. And that is the downfall of both of you. But in the end, she was doing it for you. Take solace in that.

5. For men, your looks are your first +1, but in the later stages, they are worth shit. It's all about the way hold yourself, talk, behave, all in all 'how you work as a functional human', thats all that matters, with a little bit of empathy here and there.

6. For woman, its all about your 'personality'(I know this word gets used a lot, but bare with me). Yes, its true, if you look like a hog, dirty and smelly, then even the ugliest fish in the sea won't fall for your bait, But just look after yourself like gym a little, look after your hygiene, and you won't be that repulsive, even if youre a 5.
   Now for the personality part, from what ive observed, the people who know their shit, are attractive.

7. The person who doesn’t see love as a fairytale, will succeed far more in relationship than someone who sees love as a fairytale because they won’t be as damaged and project less insecurities than one who is damaged from lots of broken relationships.

8. You cannot have love without trust. No relationship thrives with it and that means you have to be vulnerable.

[Lurker]

@DIV

This is amazing when are you releasing the full book?

[Skinny boy]

@DIV Did you just go thru a breakup

[nightshifter]

@Lurker , Also read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman as well as his others. Best book by far and has sold millions in many languages

[Lurker]

@nightshifter

Will it teach me how not to suck at love?

[nightshifter]

@Lurker , yes. Actually. But I doubt that’s the case, You’re awesome

[spaceboy]

@DIV nice article. Very complex and nothing extra. Short and clear.
I try to say something, but it won't so ordered and neat like yours. More chaotic. More thought's flight.

We can create phantoms. Whole world is mirrored in our minds, so what else we can say about humans. They are also mirrored. Toggle a mirror up a bit, or down.. And this person who sits behind you become a god (or goddess). Every movement of this creature, every word is starting to be determined by you - as infinite truth, that gives an infinite pleasure..
I think this is refers to the second point of your article, @DIV. Is it good or bad that we are loosing our minds in our mirrors and phantoms? I don't know. But it is our nature. We are all old kids here, so everyone can decide it by his own.

The best relationships, when both of you feel comfortable with each other. Event interests may be different, but if both of you feel peace, while falling asleep and hugging each other. Why not?
Don't remember when I hear that: "The true love is - when grandfather is snoring at night, and grandmother don't hear that, because she love him." Nice parallel.

And the last thing. Whatever happened, despite all negative that could poisoned you, it is better to diverge on a good note. Don't judge and you won't be judged. All of we are the hardest judges to ourselves..

[Div]

@spacegirl

Indeed, two people who grow old together, traverse the harshness of the life together, enjoy the delights of the life together, is indeed the epitome of what love is.
And the randomness of your thoughts, is what makes them candid yet intriguing no need to bottle them up : )

[nightshifter]

@spaceboy , agreed Spaceboy, we are definitely our own worst critic and harsh judge of ourselves.

[pe7erpark3r]

@spaceboy the grampa analogy is nice. Did you know that men's hearing fails first in the frequencies of women's voices when they get older?

@DIV I'll write something more sophisticated later . Don't forget to grow a pair

[Div]

@PetrAPark3r

You procrastinator