Is a cheater always a cheater?

[mrmatt88]

For 4 years, our relationship was perfect. She was more than I could hope for. She’s a wife material, caring, loving and patient. Although we have had our ups and downs in the relationship, we always make sure that we settle it and never end up breaking but I had to end that. I caught her chatting with some foreign men in international dating blogs. It could have been okay if it weren’t for those flirtatious responses. I love her but I had to do the right thing which is to break up with her. Few months later, she messaged me telling me that she still loves me and that she was wrong. I do love her but I do not know if I can still trust her. I am too scared of having to repeat the same pain as I have felt few months before.

[mrmatt88]

To a husband out there please give me an advice and opinions please..thanks!

[Sammy]

@mrmatt88
I think you should give her a second chance.. afterall you've been together for 4 big years!
Another small piece of suggestion!
Never give yourself completely to someone, just don't depend on anybody. Be so strong mentally and emotionally that even if they walk away, it won't affect you much! Please don't start behaving like a drug-addicted immature teen
.
Your attitude should be "Okay she/he was a nice person, we had a great time together! Now that they are gone, let me continue living my life"

[Abru Khan]

@mrmatt88 yep

[mrmatt88]

@sammy Thank you so much for your advice. I have to be strong, like what you said.

[Lurker]

@mrmatt88

Have you considered talking openly with her about that incident and find out the reasons behind it? I'm not saying it's your fault, but maybe she was lacking something, I know emotional cheating is a thing, but try to talk thing out, after all it's 4 years...

[inseekayumi31]

@mrmatt88 Again, as they said, "You can't judge the entire relationship or the person over one mistake." It's very unfair especially you've been together for 4 years already. If you still have feelings for her, just try to talk things out. Discuss about what she did and let her explain her side. You don't have to say YES immediately. Just start from the scratch.

[hurleyking]

@mrmatt88 If it happened once, give her another chance. As you said, you love her and that she's a wife material. No one is perfect in this world, there are things we need to be mistaken in order for us to learn, and sometimes we learned the hard way. Just follow what makes your heart happy because you're the only one who you can make your situation better.

[kittypie]

I understand you but there's always a second chance for her. give her a chance maybe this time she will never do it again, maybe she changes for good.

[[[global:former-user]]]

@mrmatt88 4 years is too long a relationship to ruin it over one mishap. My advice: Give her another chance. You both need to sit down and discuss the reasons she decided to chat with those men.
Whatever you do, you both need to be completely honest with each other. Lies and secrets are the main reasons a relationship goes to hell.

[Jacob55]

@mrmatt88 I say you made the right call for yourself. Her actions made you uncomfortable, you don't seem to have a good feeling about her intentions, and you set your limit.
As a married man, I have been the one to put strain on our marriage. Almost 8 years together now. I do my best to be open about my needs.
I think a cheater is always a cheater if they keep hiding what they want and don't communicate how they feel.