I think the world needs something, but I'm not sure what it is is

[rebelw.acause]

This is a place where people hook up, and weird-ass stuff goes down, but I have all these emotions inside of me and absolutely no where to go, so here you go, TWS.
I'm so fucking lonely. I have not a single good friend on earth, only people who make my insecurities worse. I'm rehabbing from an ED i struggled with last year, and though I've gained weight, I still feel ugly and want to starve myself. I'm so tired. I have an entire fucking essay to write, but I don't even know where to start because it's on a topic I don't care about. I wish someone would just tell me to get in bed with them so they can hold me through the night, helping me sleep the entire night through. Because most nights, I'll wake up at 3 or 4 and spend the rest of the night, wishing I wasn't all alone. I can't remember the last time I was happy; and that's not the last time I smiled or laughed...I mean the last time I was at peace in my heart, content and okay. Safe. Protected. Loved. I was sexually assaulted at age 7, so I can never have sex. That's just not something I can do. But I don't want to be alone. I'm about to turn 16, and I won't have done anything with my life. I just want to be okay. I want to stop being so fully exhausted, I want to stop crying all the time, I want to feel like someone's going to come home and put their arms around me. I want to know I can slow dance with someone and have these cute moments without feeling like they're going to rape me or do something twisted. Because i can love, I can take care of you when you're feeling down, help you with literature or freaking history. I'll never cheat, I'll never try to hurt you. But I'm just so broken down and so, so tired and sad. And I don't know why. And no one will do anything about it. No one cares.
So that's it
stay safe.
love you
x