Best posts made by NekoNat

Damn U XD
Thank u too

Seems this post turned into a train wreck - fun story tho XD

I have been in a relationship for more than three years, that is, until he broke up with me a week ago.
Now, to provide some backstory, we started out as a long distance relationship, but we made it work until he moved closer at least one and a half years ago, and everything was amazing! Or so I thought. For more background information, I was deep into my own hell-hole when he found me. I was cutting badly, hardly getting any sleep, and barely dragging myself out of bed in the morning, and had no one to help me. I was honestly on the verge of suicide. Until he came along. Gave me a reason to get out of bed and through the day. Given time, he helped me quit self harming and made me really happy! And when he moved closer, we only saw eachother even more and our relationship bloomed. But then.. Just a week ago, he tells me that he can't go on like this. He tells me that about 2,5 years ago, something happened that made him stop loving me. He said that he had been trying for all that time to regain feelings for me, because he want to love me and he cares about me. But de described it as a constant pain and he just couldn't bear to be in a relationship with me anymore. But he still wanted to be best friends, because he still sees me as his soulmate, so it should be okay right?
Wrong... Ever since he broke up, I have NOT been able to sleep at night. I've been crying so much that at this point I just feel empty. The voices that dissapeared a long time ago have come back, with new fuel to drag me back into my hell-hole. I even slipped at cutted again. And everything I can think about is how badly. I. Want. Him. Back. He tells me to think about a future and to be happy that I am free, but my problem is I don't want to be that kind of free... I saw a future in him and me, now I see nothing. I am not happy. I don't know what I and my family are going to do with all the presents we bought him for christmas. Even my hobbies, he ended up being my main inspiration for everything I made. So I am empty. I don't know what to do. All I can think about is how desperately I want him back. I can't find any reason not to like him. Despite all of his physical and mental flaws people might have seen in him, all of those things only made me love him more. And I seem to only want him more and more each day since he left.

Please help. I don't know what to do...
Sorry for the rant. But I have no one to talk to.

@pardis2001 She literally accused her own daughter, me, of being able to cheat.. Which I am physically and mentally not able to. Besides, it is not like she is known for her never ending support and love... It's not like anything I do has much support from her.

@Hyde as I've mentioned before, I think it is a lot in the eye of the beholder. Yes, I do notice Grammer and spelling mistakes when I read your (and other people's) messages and posts, but personally it doesn't bother me. From my point of view, the only thing that matters is that I am able to understand it, rather than it being perfect. Of course it also differs from person to person how capable you are of understanding a text even if it contains mistakes, but that just leads back to 'the eye of the beholder'.
Overall, I think you're doing a great job in general, and making mistakes while typing quick is completly normal. ^^

@Matt_Aranha Thank you a lot for your reply. The thing is, my mom has been trying to mess things up for me in the past, which is why I am afraid she might do again. Especially with the way she said these things. She literally "ordered" me to not fall in love with this person. (God knows I am already head over heels for them), and then started a long rant about how it never works out, not having actual proof to back her up.

@pardis2001 I see. It seems there's only room for support in one single area, even you then see the double standards forming when it suddenly doesn't suit the moment.

@Hyde thank you once again. I guess there are just different ways of neglecting support and trust. Sadly it cannot be changed, only fought against. I'd hate to cut contact with my parents to have them quit trying to control me, because despite this, I of course still love them.

@Hyde Thank you Haido-kun! I really do feel your support. I am happy I am not entirely alone in this ^^

Sweet home Alabama!

@ODIN I guess it taught me love is a two way thing. You're not the only one who has to give out your heart, piece by piece.

@Hyde Nice, I follow you too now

@boye I am not officially in a relationship but might be getting there, so I don't think I'd say I am single? I dunno

I fucked up and messed up my replies

@Lucky-Dude Eyo

@Akki8 I am happy I managed to find them, or they found me ^^

@Lucky-Dude The cieling

@kh1123 of course, each their own. I just always thought that if you "couldn't draw because your pencil is bad" then maybe you're just not as much into it

@Lucky-Dude Mostly hobby at the moment, though I do sometime sell some of my work ^^

@sazz nah, don't think so. Already working on a paid project