@Heccikage
Your opinion is that the end justifies the means & you don't actually kill anything except your good side which actually cares & in the process you tear out her heart because she saw that in you.
You're not doing anything for her "goodness". A part of her goodness is her not telling you to fuck off just because you're down or having negative vibes. A part of goodness is seeing goodness in everyone. You're just giving up on yourself & her & you're assuming a positive change would come from a negative one on the basis of you feeling that she deserves better.
If you killed yourself for someone's goodness, it would be an ego death. You'd give her better rather than taking love away.
Love isn't a mistake, only the lack thereof. & she thinks it's worth it despite things & apparently you can't handle that.
She made her choice on you & you want desperately to prove her wrong because you don't believe in yourself & you're passing off your disbelief as part of that self you don't believe in the strength of(your love).