• Where do you go for relashionship adivce?


  • Don't cheat and you won't regrets


  • @lostatsee There are a few good people here who will give sound advice, but that means sharing your troubles openly first and not everybody is comfortable with that. Unfortunately you may also get some trolls jump on any post you make too.

    I personally might reach out to a trusted friend who would understand, or an internet acquaintance of good character who doesn't judge and want to to help - truthfully most of the time I keep any relationship concerns to myself and ride them out until I've sorted them on my own 🙈


  • @lostatsee relationship*!!!!!!


  • @Matt_Aranha Isn’t solving your problems on your own (topic-related) more of a bumpy ride, as you tend to be less objective, hence feelings getting the best of you? It is, indeed, a good sentiment to be in control, but it may not result in the best outcome.


  • @SaintFWolf It certainly has the potential to be, I would say it depends on the particular problem. Thankfully I'm blessed with a good level of self-awareness and so usually have no bother detaching myself when I need objectivity. Wouldn't recommend going it alone though, I'm a big believer in the power of sharing to lighten the load.


  • @Matt_Aranha I do believe that a problem shared is a problem halved, but not necessarily for myself. It defies transparency, but it grants experience to handle such problems on your own. Also, I want to poke your self-awareness, so please do take this imaginary trip with me: you have had a best friend for couple years, but recently, things have changed - it may be you, it may your friend, or even both. What matters is, you do not feel like your friend is still adequate to be called so. Not knowing whether your friend will or will not return to their initial state (valuable friendship), do you stick for the sake of familiarity and good old days, or do you make the decision to, eventually, end it and find someone new?


  • @SaintFWolf I do love a good hypothetical and would love to indulge, but that situation is simply one I am truly struggling to imagine. If somebody actively does something (an act of betrayal or displays behaviour which sits too poorly with my ethics and I can't ignore) then I end the friendship, but simple changing or lack of contact is not enough. Many of my friends and I spend several months or even years without direct contact - we don't need to though, we don't have that insecurity. We know we can depend on one another should we call, and when we do see each other nothing has changed since the last time we saw each other. I'm not sure if that goes some way to answering your question or not?


  • @Matt_Aranha It does, to an extent, thank you. It is, in fact, related to doing something, but don't think of a single, major act. You simply recognize that the person you once knew is different, that none of the ethics they stood for is still there. It is not that they cut off the friendship nor they put your friendship in danger. I like to call it morphing into mundanity, when you lose everything you once were. Think of it as a shining light, which can be put in analogy to your interest/joy of interacting with them. Then it slowly fades away.


  • @coolguy186 I need to ask u sum. It's important!