Advice on relationships



  • ADVICE
    Someone Give me advice!! I’d appreciate it. Especially if you’re a guy 🙂

    This guy I’m with did something that kind of hurt me or at least made me think a lot. There was this post that said “if you think flirting is cheating please grow up” and he liked it. I saw it because I also follow the same page that posted it, so I saw that it said “his name and other liked this”. I got pretty upset because Early in our relationship when we were Just dating..he actually flirted with my friend. But since it was so early I let it go. I know it’s stupid but the love made me blind. And Ive seen him Follow girls And like many of their pictures..although he denies it. So that’s why him liking this post made me feel some type of way. He’s making me seem crazy for this and that I’m doing too much. And he’s getting mad at ME. So I just wanna know if I’m overreacting or if I should cut off ? And give advice too what else do you think about the situation.


  • Soul Searchers

    (How old are you guys?)
    I dont know your whole relationship.
    But i would say communication is key.
    Just sit down with him and talk about whats bothering you. Have a conversation about what the both of you consider as cheating and what not.
    Tbh i dont think liking pictures of girls is considered cheating, however i would not like it if the girls were naked or in lingerie. I completely understand that you dont like the post he liked. And find it ridiclous that he gets maf at you about it.
    You have to ask yourself if you will ever be able to trust him. If not, its better to let him go. Because in the long run you would only get more suspicious and be the crazy one. And tbh a relationship where you have to be suspicious all the time isnt worth it and doesnt sound fun to me...

    Please keep us updated and good luck sweetie.

    F22



  • @peachpie So, already you have a huge double standard from what you say? He accuses you of doing the things he does, and he doesn't like it, yet says it means nothing when he does it? Nope, nobody "just likes random stuff". Any hypocrisy is bad enough, but what you're going through here is projection on his part. See, when people cheat and lie, they assume their partners have the same mentality and are trying to get away with the same things they are. It genuinely doesn't occur to them that other people, even their boyfriend/girlfriend might not be hiding stuff or that there is no meaning to hanging out with people of the same gender/sexual preference. So when he gets jealous or doesn't act like he trusts you, it is a reflection on his mentality, on him being a "player".

    I'd have given you that advice anyway and strongly suggested you look at your options, but when I read that he has been gaslighting you too that nailed it - you need out. He's trying to mess with your head, denying to you that he has said/done things you have personally witnessed is more than just a show of the utmost disrespect and contempt he holds you in, but is a notoriously famous control method abusers use to manipulate their victims. You may feel things are "only" mild now; I can tell you that his behaviour WILL get worse so long as he refuses to face that side of his personality and accept truths for what they are. Unfortunately, few gaslighters ever do that. Don't get suckered in by apologies, they're great at those. Put him in your past and move on to the better future you undoubtedly deserve.


  • Soul Searchers

    @peachpie hey, Firstly I think this is not love actually, it's infatuation only. If u had any idea abut ur partner, then u had no need of any suggestion from others. U r asking here caz u r confused also. So don't grow up anything with confusion,if u do that,then only this infatuation might be changed into love from ur side n then it will be harder to leave.Make the decision now when it's not too late.
    Secondly, if he liked other girls snap,it's doesn't mean that he is cheating on u, but if he denied that, then thre is something worng obviously. Caz denying means fearing of something which he also know that it's not the right one. If he liked that post, then also it doesn't mean that he is cheating on u, but if he believes that post, then obviously he is not the right guy for u. We can assume at least something about a child after seeing his or her some reactions or talents at childhood. Like if a child can catch every word which u r saying in front of the baby, then u can think that the baby will be intelligent one.. Just like this u could assume at least something abut ur partner at the earlier stage also, when he was flirting on ur frnd. Always remember starting n ending isn't same always, but the way u start , it matters. U can predict the results after viewing the way.. so catch the way, u will get ur answer for sure. But for me, u should recheck ur decision. 😊 Bdw don't mind if I said something wrong or if I hurt u


  • Soul Searchers

    @peachpie
    Based of your answer i would definitely suggest you should leave. Because this doesnt sound like a healthy relationship at all.
    If he doesnt try to understand you and just get mad then i dont think that it will improve. I can hear you already know it. I know it will be hard after 2 years of being in a relationship with him but you deserve better and im sure you will get someone who is better for you.
    So please choose whats best for yourself and leave him



  • @peachpie When you hit the like button, it indicates the pic or post got you in some way. No one just likes random pics and posts. He's either cheating or leaving things open to cheat. He's gasslighting you, as another person already said, and his reactions are abusive. Move on. A relationship without trust will not last.


  • Soul Searchers

    @Matt_Aranha
    @f22x
    Great advice...x much love n respect.
    @peachpie please heed it.



  • I should probably add that that I’m girl. And we have been together for 2 years now. Also one time when I went to a troupe he got so jealous because he thought I was partying and hanging out with guys and he was going all crazy talking abt “ I hope we’re on the same page and know that flirting is considered cheating” and I was like of course? Because I would never cheat on him. And then lately i feel like he’s talking to someone else idk why and that’s what made him like this post because I kind of was annoyed at him. Which makes me think



  • Just leave him , itz obv that ur not enjoying this shi* 😛


  • Soul Searchers

    @peachpie obviously you're still young so my advice would be for you not to think of any "relationship" as being THE one. You should enjoy life first.
    One more piece of advice is never under any circumstances stop believing people should be honoured to even be your friend. Never ever sell yourself short.



  • @f22x
    Thank you love.
    I appreciate the answer. I’m 18 And he’s 19 turning 20. And i agree that there is no reason to be in a relationship where you’re constantly suspicious. The thing is I try to communicate with him, but he never admits things and he gets mad if I even put up what’s bothering me. I talked to him about it. He said “I just like random stuff”. And he says he finds flirting cheating. But I feel like he says that so I won’t, but deep inside he thinks he can do it. (Just what I feel from our convos). One day he’ll talk abt what he consider cheating, the next he’s not following what he said. But he just got mad that I even took it up. So he isn’t good at communicating at all. And he never admits things. He will say something and claim he never said it even if I heard it with my own ears. Also I don’t think liking other girls pictures is cheating btw. So yeah I feel like it’s better to leave. Nothing is worth it if the communication isn’t there 🙂



  • @Lockdown
    Thank you! I appreciate it. I definitely see your point



  • @Matt_Aranha
    Really love your advice And answer in general. I agree! It’s easy for me to ignore the red flags now But it will Get Worse If i put up with it.
    Appericate you answer, Thank you!



  • @Lucifer114
    Thank you for your answer.
    And no don’t feel Sorry i take the criticism in this situations since I asked in the first place. I understand how you feel like it’s not love. I’m sure if you meant From both sides. Personally I never saw it that way. I always feel like I love him. But we all said that once to a person so I totally get it. 🙂


  • Soul Searchers

    @peachpie U hv guts to accept the truth, n it will help u to move forward. A lady can adjust many things n u also can but don't adjust with loyalty ever. It's a disease. If u start adjusting with loyalty then u have to continue this for the rest of life. Love is something which u can't express but can feel all the tym. Don't waste this feeling on a wrong guy. Yes, if u can change him, then surely u can go ahead with him. As u love him, can try once to make him feel that he is wrong. If he got ur point, he might me changed. Try once to stay with ur loveable one. If he's not ready to be, then leave it.. good luck



  • @peachpie
    Trip** my bad








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