@steelfirehawk said in Tell me about your days...:
My days are being pushed into a corner by the world, and left to observe my thoughts confirming which ones are terrible, and hoping to God they are outside entities, and I am merely at war to make my thoughts more obedient. I don't assume as the world that every voice I hear, or every image that is put in my mind is in fact me, or that spiritual forces don't exist. I know demons are real, and believe they can be cast out, but what I don't believe is a carnal being other than Christ who will aid me against the darkness.
It's more about understanding your thoughts, not so much about fighting them. We have a lot of evil in ourselves, but still no right to blame us. Also there is actually nothing wrong with being tempted you know? What matters is what you do.
Stop worrying to much about your thoughts. Look around you, and see what you could make better. Maybe start by cleaning up your room. Honestly. Just look around and define for yourself what you could do better. Than do one thing better every day than the day before.
My days are resisting and often failing, while the ones who supposedly love me would rather I remain silent and do, or give to them like an obedient pup. My days are resenting my dads oppression, and being tempted to covet woman when none would ever marry a mess like me. Everyone just wants to play games, and get off on dirty humor. I'm hated. Yes my days are being hated, and striving to not wish for death
That sounds like there is a lot you could do to better your life. Stop listening to "Everyone". There are also sane people in the world. Strive for something greater. If you don't have a goal, you cannot possibly orient yourself. You need an ideal. And it must be an ideal, e.g. something you can never reach, but always can get just a step closer to. And then you can make small goals to reach, to actually change your life. For the actual change don't strive to high. The ideal should be high, but it is enough if you're only 1% better than yesterday. Just the one thing. And you'll change your life. It's about consistency, not about doing great things.