Hoping to give and receive advice on my and other people's love lives. My problems are sad and stupid.
If anyone is interested, I'll describe my problem. I can also give free advice with no obligation to help me in exchange. Too many people talk about their problems and don't help others. Just leave a comment and we can start helping each other!
P.S. I have a really stupid problem and an annoying love life, so your problem is probably easier to solve than mine. Anyway, I'm just looking for input and advice from multiple points of view and I can provide my point of view for you. Thanks for your time and consideration!
@waywardmarbles Man! It sounds like this guy really has it bad for you. Shy or not, life is short, and you might be surprised by yourself. And how you will feel afterwards. You HAVE to tell him you like him. He seems very shy as well. Guys are not upfront about feelings, my boyfriend is 28, TWENTY EIGHT and how did we get together? He asked a coworker to 'talk to me for him' It's not wierd to date your friends exes, he probably just did to distract himself from thinking of you. Whether the feelings are still there, you really need to take action, soon. No more waiting! That's 6 months of sitting in class wondering what could be, while you could've been planning your weekends with him. It seems your social circle is pretty close, and no hard feelings anywhere. BUT my advice to you hun, would be to talk to him without friends around. It's the internet age, FB message him, text him. Don't tell him you like him in a message though. Say you're very interested in hanging out, just with him, you are smart I'm sure you can come up with something. He writes songs? Asking a guy to teach you a few chords on guitar at his house works wonders. Or whatever he plays I understand wanting him to make the first move, but sorry hun women mature wayyyyy much faster than men. They are so much more scared of rejection than you, therefore will not risk it. Why get his hopes ruined forever when he could admire you from a distance! Is his point of view. But that's not real life. Bridge the gap, open the door between you two. meet him alone, even if it's awkward to hang out it doesn't matter. Even if he tries to play it cool. he might lay in bed that night thinking 'what is this' I can't believe she wanted to get to know me better'. It gets the wheels churning
@waywardmarbles What's your annoying love life? Tell the truth and nothing but. I think there's been some pretty pathetic, downright embarrassing, disrespectful moments in my relationships that would even be sad to admit. But that's what this is for, get it off your chest ️
@iwant2believe This guy I like asked me out on a dare. I said no, because I suspected it was a dare. Later I found out from a mutual friend that he liked me and just succumbed to the pressure to ask me out at the time of the dare, the feelings were genuine. I basically ignored this information because he had been acting like none of it ever happened.
Fast forward 2 months. He is now dating my friend. I have to be happy for her because she's my friend. They break up after a week. He proclaimed to our mutual friend in class, in front of me, that he was pretty much fine with it because he was used to his heart being broken. By me, apparently, and by our mutual friend much earlier. (They're perfectly good friends now and there were never any hard feelings.) She had broken up with him then said she wanted him back on April Fool's Day because she had succumbed to the pressure of dares from our classmates.
So now, I have to sit in class with him (ALL DAY) and pretend nothing ever happened. This continues for six months, during all of which he liked me, according to my friend, who he tells everything.
I had to pretend it never happened because he would think I had turned him down earlier out of spite if I told him anything.
In May, I found out that he had written a song and was planning to sing it to me, in public, on either my birthday or the last day of school. He eventually just planned to do it on the last day of school at the beach. Everyone but I and a friend went to the beach. Not being supposed to know about it, I couldn't just march up to him and say "I'm not going to the beach. Bye." So he went to the beach and was disappointed when I didn't show up.
IF you can make sense of this, message me with your opinion so far and ask for the rest of the story. Thanks for caring even the tiniest bit.
@iwant2believe See also:
This was written by me and posted anonymously basically right after the events of the first paragraph took place.
@waywardmarbles And while he may be disapointed because you aren't letting you know you're interested, duh that's becayse he likes you, and you know it. Don't play it cool and pretend to not care, you gotta be true to yourself. The coolest people I ever met always show they care. Forgive yourself and move past it becayse once you show ANY interest he's going to forget about all that. Excited for the future happiness of you two
Sir Devil last edited by Sir Devil
@iwant2believe I too think it's the correct approach and as a male, I can also accept that, after a certain point, some of us would be too scared to make a move due to the fear of rejection and hence would prefer suffering instead of expressing the feeling. So, when a girl shows even a hint of her interest, we would be really delighted and would get the courage to express the feeling, one more time.
Hey, so, I don't have any experience in love life on my own but I'm pretty much happy to be a listener and if I can help in any way! And yeah, the two of them are right, try making the first move if you do have feelings for him? Haha. I'm kind of the play-it-cool type of girl (but it's because I have yet to found the one), but it leads to nothing and probably only disappointment on yourself if you do has feelings for him too. So, go for it!