Have you ever found it difficult to forgive someone who hurt you but their intent wasn't evil?

  • I never hurt anybody on purpose (unless they did me wrong 1st) and it hits real hard when people hurt you even then.
    Funny that they think a 'sorry' can fix everything and erase everything that happened. But not everybody's evil or hurt you on purpose.
    I've always had a hard time forgiving people who hurt me evil or not. And something about them changes for me forever. Changes something in me, the way I look at everything, the way i look at them. I dont even know what they or I should do to make it all better. What's the right thing to do?
    I know this for sure that one day it'll all be fine but its never an easy way to reach to that day. Never thought I'll find myself in this situation yet again, you just never learn! No matter how many times you fall on your face, you still walk the same bloody path. Sickly pathetic!

  • @wildwallflower If the intent was'nt evil then there is no reason that forgiving is difficult..What makes it difficult is the fact that we are not ready to be hurt, and we cant easily accept the reason why people hurt us..Tbh, people who hurt us most are the ones that are close to us, we wont be affected if they are not..Take the positive reason why they hurt us simply becoz they like us to be bolder, tougher and stronger instead of not forgiving; thank them..
    If we cant forgive easily its like prolonging the agony why?? Because we dont achieve happiness,no peace of mind,we become victims of our own sufferings..On the otherhand how sure are we that the person who hurted us are hurted too,who knows they are rejoicing ..
    Learn to forgive and everything positively will follow.. :-)

  • You can forgive someone and yet not want anything to do with them,
    People need to understand that forgiveness is for the past reconciliation,
    and not for future consideration.

    And it doesn't matter what their intention was, If they hurt you they hurt you.

    And you reserve every right to be mad at them.

    But however you should forgive them, the anger the betrayal that will weigh on your conscience and not theirs.

    Forgive them for yourself and not for them.

    You should always remember what they did and how it hurt you and you should avoid such people in the future, but you should forgive them and move on with your life.

    Because someone who hurts others doesn't deserve another minute of your time.

  • @wildwallflower When we are hurt by those close to us it's never easy to forgive. But it does happen, with time. Until that time, (from my experience's at least) it's better to hold your head up high, wear a smile and continue with your day. This doesn't necessarily help with understanding, but it does give you the opportunity to carry on with your day in a better light.
    In this life if we didn't have things that cause us pain, then there would be learning (how to achieve a task etc) , but not Learning (about people, relationships and self).
    As for sickly pathetic ..... not in the slightest. What it shows is that you are open to others, and by being this way, you are open to yourself. There is nothing wrong with falling down, It's when you don't get back up that there is a problem.

    @Bela-Hella ... some wise words from a wise woman (an Nutneice) ;)

  • @wildwallflower I think people never forgive, they just forget. There is a reason why they say 'time heals every wounds'. After a while you stop remembering what they had done to you and oneday you may even find how silly it was to think that you could never forgive to that person for that particular thing he/she did. And ofcourse, moving on is also a key thing to aid forgiveness, if you dont have nothing to do in life and those particular incident/s is/are the only thing you keep remembering then its helpless. I am not saying that there isnt some rare cases that you could only take to the grave. Especially the ones which tainted your self respect or trust. Eventhough you have forgiven things and may start acting like normal for the sake of propriety, deep inside you know this simply just cant go back to normal, unless you are a politician or Budhah.

  • I agree with all of my friends.
    I hope you are alright @wildwallflower !

  • @wildwallflower

    Only those with evil intentions hurt others on purpose, as there is not a real reason to create harm in someone else, unless for revenge or spite, yet again, those feelings are negative and evil, so their intentions will be likewise.
    The only ppl that are capable of hurting us, without evil intentions, are usually the ones we let inside, the ones that are important and close so it's always a huge hit when they do something like that, takes alot of thinking and understanding.
    I never forgive things that ppl do to me, it's simply not on my nature but I end up forgiving them, cuz I know that, for a fact 1. They must have had their reasons, even if they are hard to understand, otherwise they wouldn't be important to me; 2. If we carry that negativity in us we can never trully be free and happy and 3. If I were in their shoes I would want forgiveness, as I always try to treat others the way I want them to treat me I would do my best to understand and forgive, tho there are things that are unforgivable,
    I know who this is aimed at so i'll try to keep as unbiassed as possible, the best way I find to forgive someone that hurt me is to put myself on their shoes and assess the situation tho their eyes, maybe then you will understand their intentions and will be able to forgive them.

    I hope you will be fine.

  • @wildwallflower if you've found that the intention is not evil, then3n it means they're already innocent, and your heart has already forgiven them....

  • Forgiveness is a most powerful weapon of great humans.