hi people
A true friend will always stay a true friend...
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Someone I greatly appreciate once told me: You are lucky if you find a single real friend in your whole lifetime. This got me thinking for quite a while... Today I agree with him. Let me share with you, what I think a real friend is like. Then you will understand why I think it is so hard to find one...
Let us start with what most of our friends are: People who enjoy spending some time with us. This is also how real friendships tend to start: We find someone we have similar interests with, people who think alike, or people whom we admire for the ways in which they are different from us. These friends stay in our lives for a while, but if life moves us apart with them, eventually the relationship will fade. Which of course is okay! We don't have to stay friends forever with everyone in our lives. In fact that would be impossible...
Sometimes such a friend can become a real friend. A real friend will stay our friend forever. But that does not mean, that the relationship could not also fade away. Except that a real friend will try their best to not make this happen. If it does happen though – that is if it is our own fault that the relationship fades away – you will see that a real friend will want to rekindle the friendship when an opportunity comes.
Real friends can of course disagree with you, even strongly and on important matters. But no matter on what they disagree with you, they will still treasure you. In fact I believe that someone who (almost) never disagrees with you, cannot possibly be a good friend... That's because someone who treasures you, will try to help you to grow. They will tell you what they think you could do better, or what they think you are doing wrong. Not all the time, but every now and then. And they will be persistent, they won't stop telling you things you don't want to hear. Because they really want to see you grow. That's part of being a good friend...
I've had friends (not real friends) who were not able to disagree with me. This can generally appear in two ways. Some tell you always what you want to hear. You will never get proper feedback from them, and thus they cannot help you grow and become a better version of yourself. There is another kind: Some people cannot bear you disagreing with them. They'll start to argue with you, whenever you state an opinion that does not match theirs. Be weary of this kind of people. They can only see themselves. They need you to adopt their worldview so that they feel confirmed as a person. Someone like this is not mature enough to be a real friend.
You can hurt a real friend. Don't do that, definitely not on purpose, and try to avoid it even unintentionally. But, truth be told, we are dangerous creatures. We will hurt the people around us every now and then even if we don't want to. And with real friends, you'll see, that you can hurt them, and they will stay your (real) friends... They will however require an apology and depending on the gravity of your sin, they might even ask for compensation – if they think you have the means to do so of course.
You can also damage the relationship with a real friend. You can hurt them physically and emotionally. And it will impact your relationship, it might even end it. It will not change however that the friend wants what is good for you. A real friend will never hate you, and will never desire your demise, no matter how deeply you hurt them. In fact a real friend will desire your relationship to be healed – if only possible.
Real friends are willing to suffer for you, willing to be there for you when you need them – as long as you are not taking advantage of them. If you did take advantage of a real friend, they will speak to you about it. They will stop you from doing so if they can. Because it is not good for you to take advantage of others... And someone who loves you, will do their best to keep you from doing bad things... And a real friend will pray for you. For all their life. No matter what life, or what you throw at them...
It is not easy to be a real friend. Just about as hard as to find one. Realizing this one might feel quite lonely if one hasn't found one yet. Truth be told, the only such friend I have found in my life is God. Who is always around us, caring to madness... so its not impossible for you to find Him either. What has happened however is that I've become such a friend. Not for many, because that would be impossible. I'm not God, I can only commit so deeply to very few. One of them I haven't told even. The other one does understand that I'm her friend this deeply.
What about you? Have you found a true friend? Are you one? Or are you becoming one?
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@pe7erpark3r This seems too good to be true
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@pe7erpark3r Great that you have found one amidst the many.. I just lost the only one after a togetherness of nearly over a decade. So, my perception has completely changed in regards to this..
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@_divv_roxx_ ... so how do you think about it now? Makes a real friend all the more precious...
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@pe7erpark3r I would say it's a myth to rely upon. It definitely could be true for a few while for a greater ratio it happens to be the other way around. No hard feelings, happy for those who have the truthfulness amidst themselves still alive..
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@NotAlizaJalebi *T&C applied, if true :D
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@pe7erpark3r Let me tell you something dear " THERE IS NO REAL FRIEND ANYMORR" FRIENDS COME FOR BENIFETS AND WITH BENIFETS NOWADAYS. thats why go eat well , play ur fav games , study ur lessons , do ur job and stay healthy .
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@The-Mods I totally agree with you.. Most of us might be having the same perception, especially the ones who have been through the disastrous phase :/
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@_divv_roxx_ Yeah totally agree 👍
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@The-Mods said in A true friend will always stay a true friend...:
@pe7erpark3r Let me tell you something dear " THERE IS NO REAL FRIEND ANYMORR" FRIENDS COME FOR BENIFETS AND WITH BENIFETS NOWADAYS. thats why go eat well , play ur fav games , study ur lessons , do ur job and stay healthy .
well, how about becoming one then?
Isn't the reason why there are no real friends anymore, that we all desire "benefits" so much, that our own giving is conditional? Isn't it because we think that others should be for us what we really desire for ourselves (a real friend), rather than growing into someone who is capable of giving (that which we desire for ourselves) to others?
And isn't the fact, that we have all been betrayed by someone we thought was our friend, a way of showing us, that we are not yet capable of being hurt and yet staying true to being a friend?
I'm not sure if I have been abundantly clear above, but other than God I have not found a real friend yet. The other way round however, for two others I am such a friend – even if they don't understand yet and/or are not the same toward me...
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@pe7erpark3r I am one good friend but with no benifets but only being a good person to those I choose .
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@The-Mods #Appreciable :)
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I do not agree because I personally believe no one will stay with you for a lifetime no matter what :) Yeah you can say there are still some good people left, but it's still pointless because they will also leave eventually. When you finally think you found "the one", you feel happy, you trust them and make promises together. For example, "ill be there for you whenever you need me" or "ill never replace you no matter what", but when the hard times come they will not think about you, but themselves unfortunately. They would forget bout their so called "promises" and leave you as if you dont mean anything to them. I suggest to vibe alone, learn to stay without people and live your life the way you want without impressing anyone and trust me you are your own happiness, true mate and a forever lifetime partner <3
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@Aamna-Malik I staunchly agree with you :) Sooner or later, every last echo fades. Even the loudest thunder in the deepest valley. We have nothing that is really our own; we hold everything as a loan..
