Most Evil thing

[erikagautney]

I manipulated an emotionally vulnerable girl out of a sizable portion of what was meant to be her inheritance.

I knew the weeks following the death of her only surviving parent would be tremendously difficult for her to cope with.

1. Especially since I already knew she had unresolved daddy issues which she used to vocally whine about from time to time prior to that point.
2. I also knew that in contrast to the father she never got to know since he walked out on her family soon after she was born, she considered her single mother a saint for raising her -- as well as her judgemental step-siblings who were always hard on her...

...it was the perfect storm. An emotional mine-field she was ill-prepared to navigate at the time... and I knew that if I just made myself available to her, I'd be seen as an indispensable godsend, unquestionably virtuous despite any ill intentions and ulterior motives I might harbor against her. And so, sure enough, when I saw her so distraught... I decided to take advantage.

---

Did I comfort her? Sure... in fact, I made sure to do her on the very same day that she got the news, before she left our college campus to return to her hometown and make funeral arrangements with her step-family.

Ok, I'll stop revealing how disgustingly opportunistic I was.

So anyway, did I console her WITH WORDS rather than making her feel physically wanted? Sure... except, everything I said was designed and calculated to benefit me in the long run, none of those words she wanted to hear were uttered because I actually truly cared about her one bit, I simply saw her as a giant payday. So I milked her melancholy out with my feigned sympathies for all it was worth, knowing that once I got what I wanted out of her I'd discard her without a second thought.

Ok, I'll stop disgusting you with how sordid my scheming was.

Oh, wait, did I say that I fk'd her within an hour of her getting the phone call informing her of her mother's death? I forgot to mention another example of how incredibly punctual I can be: I did her again a week later... right after the memorial service.

Oh gosh, why the bloody hell am I confessing to how creepy and contrived my machinations can be?!?!

Anyway, I'll stop with the specifics and more generically say "in the weeks that followed the funeral she continued to rely on me for physical comfort as well as an emotional crutch during this time fraught with instability" but I just needed to highlight those key moments and how I (in realtime, mind you, i.e. I'm just hearing this news too. And yet somehow, simultaneously, deep inside my mind I discovered... a reptilian side. Some certain specific sociopathic switch in my brain that got flipped before I even realized I was capable of such urges, ambitions, plots and contrivances... but as soon as I became aware it was possible to pull this plan off, I wholeheartedly committed to that vile evil path) I instinctively knew exactly when where and how I would need to make myself available as an ever-present shoulder for her to cry on whenever she had an emotional upheaval, or the ever-present [REDACTED CUZ NSFW] whenever she needed it, wanted it, or really just whenever I saw she was suddenly feeling down and depressed and let her physical guard down in her state of emotional vulnerability, I decided that this was the ideally ripe moment to let this pathetically pitiable girl who had been single all her life to experience her first "romantic" relationship ever (even though there was no real romance involved from my end) as well as the first person who stole her virginity and gave her repeated sexual experiences at every opportunity that her emotional roller-coaster afforded me to which she would eventually come to associate with / label as "making love" (even though, once again, there was no love involved. I was just going through the motions. I was doing her. Like a thing. Like a chore. I was working her up for the express purpose of letting her imprint upon me, so that she'd be more susceptible to grand gestures of love in turn to repay me for being such a "selfless, caring, loving" partner to her)

---

To put a cherry on top of this terrifying tale of moral decay and ethical degeneracy... her mother wasn't even that wealthy, so the chunk I took out of her inheritance actually amounted to a pretty significant percentage overall. But since she was a broke college student who never needed or knew how to manage a sudden influx of money (plus, she had fallen head over heels for me) I managed to rinse a couple of brand new Macs out of her (one of which I would go on to "gift" to my little sister, lmao, pretending to be an altruistic and generous sort of older sibling when in reality I stole from someone else to then pass it off to my little sis as MY own virtue and selflessness, smh I'm deffo going to hell hahaha) an iPad, several other accessories and products from the Apple store but those 3 easily amounted to ~3K (with all the other Apple Store products she purchased for me, I'd say that number is probably closer to 3.5 thou). She paid for my rent for a quarter of that year, 3 months fully paid and not a single cent contributed by me and for the fourth month that she finally helped me with rent we split that one 50/50 so altogether that's another ~2.8 K or so. Let's go ahead and round that up to a nice even 3K. So in total I've swindled her out of 6.5+ thousand at this point, for no other reason than I could make her feel warm and fuzzy when she was feeling depressed plus I could get her hot and bothered too and she attributed all this manipulation to me being her "one true love". Oh and that's not to mention all of the smaller expenses like free food and travel when we went on "dates" (they were such a pain sometimes tbh, she was started to get super clingy at this point... but hey, free sht! lmao) I'm not even gonna bother to hazard a guess as I honestly have no earthly clue how much that added up to but given that we were "together" for just over half a year I imagine it was a hefty chunk of change. 2K? Maybe more? I've no frame of reference, I just know I got to wine and dine her a ton before she would put out for me, and it was all done at her expense.

Oh and here's the kicker, when her inheritance money started drying up and she eventually started budgeting expenses etc she didn't want to eat out as much anymore, but she still insisted on eating together and spending time etc and before I knew it she started grocery shopping and basically restocked the entire pantry with ingredients. I still didn't know she'd done this and I was gonna break up with her that day cuz the money wasn't flowing my way as often as I wanted anymore so I just thought well eff it this was the end of the ride, right? But then she showed me all this lmao and at first I was still just gonna go "wow so nice btw we're over gtfo mmkaythnxbyyyeeeeee" but when she insisted on coming over to cook me meals at least 3 or more times per-week I suddenly held my tongue cuz -- once again -- the master manipulator within me saw this as one more of those key opportunistic moments... and oh boy did I capitalize tf out of it. I hit her with a "...bae, yaknow what would go great with dinner at home that would make our nights together an infinitely better and unforgettable new experience?" one thing led to another, and voila, she's paying me money to buy drugs. Like, as a compliment to the food. Like a "doesn't this pair well with that" sorta thing lmao. Sure I tried to sell it as "it'll be more intimate than a public outing date, trust me boo we'll fall deeper in love than ever before if you do this for -er - I mean with me" but I don't think even she bought that logic lmao But even though she'd never smoked before, she saw that I wanted to "share" this with her and she trusted me, so she caved in. It didn't last very long lol, this was towards the end of our "I'm using you-ship" but still, I wanna say I got free weed-money from her every week, sometimes even multiple times per-week, for like... the last.. 1.5? Maybe even the last 2 months straight, idk that period of time is a bit of a hazy memory for obvious reasons lol. And especially that last month, it wasn't a weekly thing anymore. Plus that was the month she got stingy on me and didn't want to cough up the total rent money despite everything I did for her ungrateful ass. Eh, but watevs, it was still a fun ride while it lasted. I know this is gonna sound like a prn script lol but seriously it's based on real events I actually lived through so just imagine it: wrapping up classes and instead of heading home swinging by to pick up a little green something from your plug. I open the door to the scents of a warm, delicious, fresh home-cooked meal made with love from a person I see as more of a chef or a maid but who is too clueless to know any better. I plop down on the couch (I used to sit at the table for her to serve me, but we soon dropped this tradition of formality and migrated to the couch for 2 reasons: the TV kept me distracted from the annoying parts of the convo plus the couch allowed her to comfortably... well.. keep reading;) and put on some pirated movie she or I wanted to watch while I loaded up the bong. She'd bring out the plates and drinks and we'd eat, smoke and cuddle as we watched. And then, pretty soon after the weed was in her system she'd loser a lot of her inhibitions and, like clockwork, she'd become this insatiably aroused succubus intent on sucking my soul out of my [REDACTED]. Just... just take that in, lol. I'm not tryina be disgusting, I'm just highlighting how I'm living like a king and not paying a single cent for any of it. I'm eating eating free food (and not only free, but custom catered to my tastes as she learns the recipies for my favorite dishes) but also just cuz I've got the munchies from all the bong-rips (the bong was also paid-for by her btw, forgot to mention that lmao) I'm taking in between. Smoking free weed that I was paid to procure for this very moment of enjoying quality entertainment onscreen that I also stole rather than paid for oh and I'm getting head from a dumb naive girl who insists on taking "cummercial breaks" as she calls them (which makes no goddamn sense since this isn't live TV or even something streamed from the internet, but hey, I thought it was kinda cute but also nutty... pun intended) and just omg wtf bbq that last 1 or 1.5 month period was an absolute heavenly experience of just rinsing and repeating this same scene in infinite variations. I convinced her to cook for me 4 nights a week too. And in the beginning we didn't fk, but then I never saw a reason to let her sleep over at my place if she wasn't gonna put out either, so idk whether she caught onto that or it was simply a more subconscious decision cuz she became more susceptible to suggestion as she slowly but surely became a pothead but somewhere in the beginning or middle of that second week of this routine it gradually became just a guaranteed given that she'd obediently lift her skirt for me at the end of our meal and movie (sometimes even before finishing the movie lol) and so I'd allow her stay the night with me as we went at it for hours on end into the night.

---

But all good things come to an end, I suppose. If that 1.5 month period was an unexpected but incredible highlight, the last month long period where we were still "officially together" was a downward spiral. I still got free meals, free weed, and she still spread her legs, but it was happening less often and there was so much animosity in the air in the interim that she kinda killed my vibe even when we were highfk'ing. It was starting to feel like a chore again. I didn't mind that at the beginning, as distasteful as I found her as a person, I looked at it as a job I was working -- and the job was to work her into feeling indebted to me. But now this bish was a crazy clingy "gf". The money was drying up too, so she got more stingy about giving me free sht. Idk, at a certain point it just no longer seemed worth it. So I pulled the ripcord.

It's not a stretch, given her fragile personality and volatile temperament, to assume that she was probably devastated... but I honestly have no clue since I gave her the cold shoulder right after I dumped her. She probably felt discarded like a piece of trash. She probably felt used. Manipulated. And all of that is true. I saw her as a feebleminded girl before the tragic news of her mother's death, and as soon as that happened (I swear this part wasn't premeditated, it caught me just as much by surprise as it probably shocked you to read it, but it's true) some part of my mind realized I could exploit this weakness of hers and -- in an instant -- I decided to go through with it. And I just kept thinking on my feet, kept scheming, and -- surprisingly -- I just kept sticking the landing each time.

• From the moment I first caught up to her while she was a gross sobbing mess packing her bags and.... "comforted" her knowing she was already an impressionable girl and in that moment in a particularly vulnerable state, I knew I had my hooks in her.
• A week later, right after the memorial for her dead mother, I cumforted her again.
• And again, and again, in the weeks and months that followed till she grew dependent on me in body, mind and at heart.
• After that first month (i.e. about ~2 weeks after the funeral) it stopped feeling like a chore. Sure, she was still my mark and I was working her nonstop, but it honestly felt like I was on auto-pilot just responding with the words she wanted to hear or the gestures she needed to see -- I never felt bad about what I was doing to her, but at this point it didn't even feel like that much effort either.
• A month or two after that, i.e. a little under halfway through the lifecycle of our relationship, she was more often happy to be with me than she had manic depressive mood swings, and at that point I was outright enjoying myself. I never felt bad for what I did to her, and during this period I was get so much puss and tech and cuisine and I got to travel (no gas money either lmao) and just omg such a rich and lavish lifestyle, while I spent the absolute minimal pennies on the dollar.
• When that money stopped rolling in I almost prematurely cut her loose, but surprise surprise, I got one more month of near constant gratuitous servitude and sensual ecstasy out of her. It wasn't riches in the sense of financial gain, but I felt like an absolute fkin king not even gonna lie.
• And then... that last month or so? Yyyeeaahh, it was back to being. a chore trying to maintain her emotional stability while she went all crazy psycho suspicious of my motives and everything that, quite frankly, a few of the times we were doing it I was hatefking her. It got quite toxic, for the both of us.

I think the reason I didn't feel too bad for lying and manipulating her heart and body for my needs was she got some much needed stability and a seemingly selfless bf out of it. That's a victimless crime, right?

I mean, I stole something like ≤ 10K from her purse, but like, she was HAPPY to dote on me right?

FYI I honestly can't be sure about that 10K figure. Around ~$8K-ish, for sure - possibly more, but I can't be certain beyond that.
It's not like I was aiming for a specific number as a target, I was just focused on keeping her physically hooked and emotionally dependent upon me for as long as I could get her to spit out money. And she was damn easy to fool too, I just had to repeatedly reassure her that she's "my girl" and that I'm "proud of you" to reinforce whatever behavior that I wanted and like a bish in heat she'd happily comply. She was so needy, afraid of "not belonging" / "being alone again" after finally experiencing what it's like to have a "bf" who "loved" her that she was willing to do whatever to took to keep me around and make sure I was happy with her, no matter the cost... even if it meant there was a literal cold-hard-cash cost conditional to my feigned affections for her

Even when she didn't have much more money to offer me as repayment for all that hard work I put into being the ideal bf she needed, I still let her feel useful to me in other capacities cuz it's what made her happy (and, incidentally, brought me a literal fkton of pleasure too on soooo many different levels lmaoo).

Sure, I'm an asshole for making her feel indebted and that she had to pay me back for all my many different "kindnesses" which were nothing more than calculated and tactical decisions of feigned friendship or passion, but she never once felt like the victim, she wasn't hurt, she was happy.

But that last month... without any more free gifts, much slower and stingier cash dispenses for expenses, and more than anything just the paranoid conspiracy theories she'd pull outta her ass about what I'm doing to her - even if she was still regularly bending over for me it just didn't feel right anymore. It wasn't pleasurable, even though she kept trying to please me, all the sht I had to deal with in between made what was supposed to be the dessert to my free meals feel laborious. She was a chore I had to deal with, once more.

Actually, not even "once more" because there was a clear reward coming I could focus on when I worked her up for me at the start. Now, she's just wound up for no real reason (well, except for the obvious reason that her suspicions are spot on and she's right to be wary of me no reason at all, she's just a crazy bish) and expending all this energy just to soothe and unwind her felt less and less worthwhile.

So, one day, just as instantly as I decided to go through with this sociopathic stratagem, I just decided to stop being her emotional crutch... a support system I knew she already sorely needed, and perhaps even more so after I just tornado'ed my way right tf through her life cleaning her out financially and using her up physically for everything she's worth. But I never checked in on her after that, so idk if she became a self-sufficient and independent woman or if she found some other poor guy to replace me in dealing with her near-constant whining and insecurities.

---

So... that's my confession. Lol. I probably should've just said that first para which sounded bad enough and left the details to your imagination, but... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I've never come clean about this to anyone before so I figured why the hell not.

For the record, I know what I did was wrong. I just... I can't explain it any better than there was a moment of sudden and pure ideation (I wouldn't even classify it as stereotypical "evil genius" lmao it just... sorta happened) and then, just as quickly, I decided to commit. At no point did I feel bad about it. I still don't feel bad about it, which is strange to say since I expected some sort of cathartic... idk, something, when I wrote all this up. But nope. I saw her as a weak sort of woman even before this transpired. And what led me to inject myself into her life was... idk, but it wasn't an emotional or "evil" impetus. Idk how to explain it really. I saw a critical 0-day vulnerability and decided to exploit that, and in order to do that the timing of my attack had to be immediate, calculated and crucial. A + B = C it's as simple as that. What's more, this decision and action all happened in realtime. I found out the news, I compiled everything I knew about her character in my head, in an instant. I decided to drop by her dorm room before she had a chance to leave town and drown surrounded by family's sorrows by clinically, in a carefully contrived manner, offering to fulfill all her needs instead.

It's an admittedly despicable tactic, especially since I did it primarily for monetary gain (and at a certain point, I just kept continuing it for the physical benefits she afforded me by way of food and drugs and sex. No lavish lifestyle or expensive gifts anymore, but I still kept her hooked and kept the con going, just cuz... how could I stop when she made it so damned easy to wring out every single thing I possibly could out of her?!?) but I DIDN'T FEEL BAD and I STILL DO NOT FEEL BAD.

I don't believe in heaven or hell, but if there does turn out to be an afterlife, I know there'll be a special circle of hell dedicated for assholes like me.

Or if I'm reincarnated, it'll likely be as a dung beetle.

If karma is a thing, I'll probably end up marrying a gold digger or something, and if that happens I'd say I definitely deserve it and some sort of cosmic scale of justice was finally righted. Fine

But... I just don't feel "evil" lmao. Intellectually, I know how f'ed up it was. But spiritually? I don't believe in that sort of thing. Emotionally? The worst I ever felt was frustration or irritation sometimes at how much maintenance her emotional needs required, I never actually felt I was a toxic influence on her and in fact when she started to suspect me of not truly caring about her I felt that SHE actually made this perfectly pleasant give-and-take dynamic of our "relationship" turn into something truly unpleasant and toxic with no clear benefits for either side.

Idk. I just know that I'm capable of this. I've never done anything like that before her, nor after, but not because the idea sounded abhorrent to me before nor because I found myself horrified by what I'd done after. I just never ever even thought along those lines before that unique opportunity, and when I did, it was perfectly in-line with my personality to try it just to see if I could pull it off. And... yeah, I guess I do know from experience now that I'm capable of something like this. But I've never felt the urge or impulse to do so again.

This isn't the only time I've been manipulative in a relationship, but it is certainly the "worst" as you normal humans might classify it. Likewise, I've cheated people out of money before, heck I've even done it (repeatedly) to my immediate family. I don't really feel guilt over it. I don't think I'm a sociopath, but I can't exactly pretend I don't have sociopathic tendencies. I'm generally an empowering sort of individual, but these are historical data points that clearly demonstrate I can rob someone of their emotional ability to be independent as well as steal their chance at financial independence. Heck, this very account that I made about 5 years ago was created for the express purpose of catfishing and toying with people, just for shts and giggles - though after registering it, I became a suddenly opted to become a silent observer rather than a wolf in sheep's clothing. On the other hand, once I finally became active on here about a month ago I've done nothing but be completely transparent about my perspectives and encourage others wherever I thought I could. I can't exactly predict or explain why I do the things I do, I just know that whenever I decide to go through with something I don't feel any regret/remorse nor pride/delight in doing so. It's just... so unequivocally "me" (even if I'd never considered that path prior to that point, as was the case of this story writ above) that I decide to follow through with it - whether that's 5 years of not catfishing y'all, a literal decade of not opting nor caring to be in a relationship with anyone cuz I got bored of the mind games, or the many different manipulative plays I made in all my relationships prior (including this incredibly lucrative 6+ month sprint I just shared), or even the genuine attempts at care and connection I made before that. I seem to oscillate between "good" to "evil" and sometimes even just "amoral" but in those moments, it feels like the most sane decision to adhere to.

I'm definitely not a saint, nor can you just oversimplify me to be a sinner as both "saint" and "sinner" are too reductionist in lieu of the truth: I am a bit of both (as, perhaps, are we all). Right now, in this moment, I'm clearly being an absolute tool... but transparently so. Is there value in being a transparent tool? I'm not sure. But it seemed like as good a time as any to come clean, so I just went with it, whatever judgements come my way ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

[TM]

Well 1st you clap for TM for reading this book ... 2ndly I have strong feeling that you don't regret what you did for this girl somehow I can smell it but I'm not judging who u really are just saying what i felt though , I don't know 🤷‍♂️

[DaNii]

@The-Mods stealing once, trying to steal another time, also telling on my cousin about something that didn't happen and he got belted. I feel bad to remmeber such things.

[TM]

@DaNii glad u realized what wrong u did and ur courage to say it and i hope nothing evil come from u again though i feel ur not that evil being lol 😇

[erikagautney]

@The-Mods no need to "feel" or "smell" that I don't lol, I say as much. A number of different times, actually.

So yes, assuming you can trust that I'm telling the truth, you actually do know I don't feel regret nor pride for my actions -- whether that's something y'all would consider "selfless and virtuous" like volunteering at a homeless shelter (which I've done) or "selfish and scheming" like shilling someone out of their inheritance (my answer to this question)

I act in accordance with who I am, through and through. I am not remorseful, nor am I prideful, I simply act as I am compelled to and I stay true to my nature whether that act is deemed to be "evil" or "benevolent" by others.

---

Also... why'd I get a downvote? 😅

Lol I was only answering your question truthfully and honestly! 😤

Are you punishing me for doing exactly what you asked of us? 🤔

• And besides, all this sudden activity and visibility on your topic/question is precisely because of that first post I wrote 📈
• There were 0 replies for the first 24 hours straight and then as soon as my reply goes live *boom* 5 or 6 posts back to back and a corresponding uptick in views 👀
• So... y'all are gonna try to bury my inconvenient and/or unpalatable answer (which was the cause for this traffic) now that this topic has finally gained some traction? 😭

*gasps in feigned revulsion* that is "the most evil thing" you could do 👿

Don't hate on me if you don't like the answer to this sort of a question 🤣

Perhaps you shouldn't have asked a question about the most extreme degrees of "evil" a person's actions can possibly take 🙊 if you simultaneously have a 🙈 "see no evil, hear no evil"🙉 policy as well?

Seems kindof counterproductive considering the sort of answers you know you're gonna invariably get (╬ ಠ益ಠ)

[Ash33]

@The-Mods
So once I went to an even where big show from wwe is going to come. That place was crowded. I went there with one of my friends. And there was guy with backpack in front of us. He had his handkerchief in side pocket of his backpack. I speak it out to impress my friend. We giggled. N then idk how to put it back. So I let it down on ground. Idk I told that guy that his handkerchief fell out or not. But that was one of evil thing I have did.

[TM]

@Ash33 I think thats more like a prank with no evil intentions in it 🙂

[TM]

@erikagautney It was not me who downvoted ur reply ... and I didnt judge ur action cz I already assume it should be bad since I asked yall to mention an evil action u did ...

[TM]

@erikagautney Plus u assume a lot of shit like " we are a gang coming together to fuck with u " lol I have no alliances tbh I'm cool with everyone and If have something against you I need no allies tbh so ur reply is welcomed 😉

[Charlish]

WTF THIS USER NEVER ANSWERS WITH A SHORT REPLY

[erikagautney]

@The-Mods said in Most Evil thing:

@erikagautney It was not me who downvoted ur reply

Oh... ok, well, fair enough @The-Mods

It happened right around the same time you replied, so it seemed to correlate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But if you say so, I'll take your word for it 👍🏼

[erikagautney]

@The-Mods said in Most Evil thing:

I didnt judge ur action cz I already assume it should be bad since I asked yall to mention an evil action u did ...Plus u assume a lot of shit like " we are a gang coming together to fuck with u " lol

First of all, I was employing satirical humor lol. Secondly, it doesn't really matter tbh. And I wrote as much in my original post, that a lot of judgement might come my way simply because I chose to answer this Q as candidly as I did (and/or because I did so without showing remorse for my "most evil thing" too)

So in a sense I was already preemptively prepared for this sort of bias since most people would readily prefer your evil simple story about stealing chocolate bars or handkerchiefs vs stealing somewhere between $8K ≥ $10K from a girl in mourning by exploiting her (physical and emotional) needs, manipulating her inexperience (with relationships and money management), and preying on her fears (of not doing enough to "earn" my affections + constantly reminding her that without me she'd once again be all alone in this world)

One is literally child's play, and is so generic that it could apply to anyone (though that also a strength since it means almost everyone could relate to some variation of your story) whereas the other story describes an individual with a "disturbing" lack of moral conscience (though I myself don't feel disturbed. Even over a decade after reflecting on the events and finally sharing it with the world, I still chose to admit in the present day that looking back I genuinely don't feel conflicted about it)

But here's the rub: On principle is not "stealing a handkerchief sticking out from their pocket / a chocolate bar while shopping at the supermarket" etc just as opportunistic as I was when I rushed to her dorm room an hour after the news to take advantage of her instability?

I'm not saying the scale or duration is comparable at all.

• Scale: one is a momentary slight of hand of a ~$1-10 dollar item whereas I played prolonged mind-games to steal ~10000-1000x times that value
• Duration: and after I successfully got my hooks into her posing as potential bf material during that closing window of uniquely lucrative opportunity (the day of + the following week, right after the memorial) I didn't decide to just sit back and wait to capitalize on her emotional investment in me at a later date.
  • I let my little social-engineering experiment run it's course and play out over the following weeks.
  • And when the money finally started flooding my way, I continued the con for months on end to get as much as I possibly could.
  • Even when the money eventually dried up, I kept her hooked for the free labor and supplies around the house... plus other physically gratifying benefits

So, yeah, I get it. It's just not the same... when it comes to the degree to which I took it. But... y'all were operating on the same principle whenever you stole from your family and let your cousin or whoever else took the fall, whenever you decided this little snack-able bar will benefit me, or when you simply chose to pickpocket a stranger just to see if you could do it, just cuz, for the shts and giggles. Et cetera. Et cetera.

But hey, it is what it is. People will upvote the "silly, simple" moments of mischief, and they'll downvote my "cruel, callous" months of manipulation... even though the topic quite literally asks us to like the "Most Evil thing"

But let's be perfectly honest here, none of y'all can actually pretend to be better than me when the principle of the problem still stands: we will act selfishly (and/or throw others under a bus while doing it) whenever it suits our needs. Welcome to the human condition.

Friendly FYI that I've also acted altruistically.

• I've helped to build houses for the homeless in partnership with Habitats for Humanity in Houston.
• I've voluntarily worked at soup-kitchens in Dallas feeding the starving.
• I've donated money to charities in New York (liquidating something like ~85-90% of what I had, out of my own pocket, to do it)
• I've tutored college applicants and incoming freshmen students in San Francisco.
• I spearheaded an after-school comp-sci educational program at a middle-school.
  • Also volunteered for their pre-existing summer-school program and took those kids on a trip to a robotics competition!
• I've even put on puppet shows for children in after feeding them in daycares.
• Temped at a nursing home.
• Also at a hospital.
• Not to mention the literal hundreds if not thousand plus hours I've put in for various churches over the years.

All for free, without expecting any form of compensation in return (okay, I did end up getting paid for the summer-school gig, but that's besides the point lol cuz that's not why I chose to do it)

And hey, I'm sure y'all have had such selfless moments as well. Good for you. Once again, welcome to the human condition.

The only key differentiator I've perceived (thus far, at least) is that I don't pretend to be evil when I'm using other people, nor do I pretend to be righteous when I'm helping other people. I'm aware that those are the classifications most people place on such actions, but there are a subset of people like me who don't do it because we're emotionally disgusted by / driven to such horrible / laudable actions. We do the "evil / good" things simply because we chose to, and the labels that get placed on them is really by the rest of society.

Of course, I live amongst you in such a society, so I try to keep my supposedly "wicked" deeds to a minimum and I indulge in "virtuous" acts whenever the whim strikes me, because -- once again -- that's what y'all seem to value... but take notice that, yet again, I'm doing so out of a self-centered sense of preservation (and, perhaps, to a degree it could be considered selfless too in that I'm promoting "do more good than bad" to others around me since I like living in this sort of society too. But that's more of a minor side-effect really of my selfish desire to survive amongst you emotionally driven lot)

Anyway, the TL;DR version is that I don't think I've ever been able to adequately empathize with another -- regardless of whether it's a morally righteous or morally reprehensible act I'm engaging in at the time. I'm not driven to volunteer at a homeless shelter because my heart breaks for the plight of the downtrodden. I just decided to do so. Simply being "good for goodness' sake" so to speak, is enough for me to act. Likewise, I didn't use a dead mother's money meant for her daughter to live rent free for a quarter of that year just cuz I am villainous or evil lmao. The schemes were merely a means to an end, period. I thought I could pull off a con pretending to be something she desired and needed, I decided to go through with the plan, and I stuck the landing. It really was as simple as that.

Now... if any of y'all think that my lack of empathy when engaging in such actions (whether the rest of you in society classify and label them as "good" or "bad, "right" or wrong", "Im/Moral" etc) is problematic, we can probably discuss that. That's a key differentiator that I've noticed over the last 15 years between myself and the vast majority of other people that I've met.

But setting aside the elements of emotional revulsion vs revelry in "Most Evil / Most Righteous" deeds (which y'all clearly experience and yet I do not) yeah lol y'all can't and don't get to pretend that you've got some moral high ground over me.

As difficult as this maneuver may be for some of you, try to climb on down from your holier-than-thou moral-high-horse and be level-headed with me. Look me in the eye and tell me none of you have ever acted in a selfish manner before. Or try to point your finger at me and pretend that I'm incapable of acting in a selfless manner. The second you do, I'm gonna call BS.

We're all human here, and as such every single one of us is perfectly capable of both. My motivations might differ from yours (for the record, I feel that emotionally motivated acts of charity or crime are inconsistent -- you're just window-shopping ...which is probably why I have no problem going to the extreme lengths I do when volunteering down in the ditches selflessly or selfishly manipulating people in my past relationships for physical or financial gain) but neither one of us can escape the impetus to "evil" nor the impulse to "good"

So go ahead everyone, give me the "most downvotes" for truly representing the "most evil thing" this question specifically asked us to reveal lmao. I may take it farther than some of you do, but you're no different from me because you're all capable and willing to do it to whenever it suits your needs, wants and desires (albiet, in smaller degrees, cuz pretty soon y'all tend to "feel bad" smh. And then, somehow, I'M considered some lower level of sub-human? Simply cuz I stuck to it and acted consistently unlike the rest of you?? lmfaooo nope I don't think so, y'all are just as despicable and deplorable as me, you just save face after doing it and I don't care cuz I know exactly what I am and I stay true to form ☯️ #YinYang #DichotomousDuality #WelcomeToTheHumanCondition)

[erikagautney]

@Ashish_ said in Most Evil thing:

WTF THIS USER NEVER ANSWERS WITH A SHORT REPLY

1. It's been 10+ years since those events took place, and I hadn't told a single soul till now. I think my self-imposed vow-of-silence affords me some leeway in being as vocal as I choose to be when I finally spill the tea.
2. More generally speaking, this user is... using a.. forum. An open forum. A public forum. A place where people can post as much or as little content as they so desire.

The site isn't called "Talk with terse strangers" it's "Talk with strangers" so expect to come across a myriad of widely and wildly fluctuating variation of people from all different walks of life expressing themselves in a plethora of ways.

If you're not quite ready to face that music, I suggest you take a break from the internet, cuz it's not gonna get any easier for you the deeper you dive into it ¯_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

[Charlish]

I am not even gonna read this reply , it already looks big 😂

[erikagautney]

pea pull r diff rent frm ewe. if u no like, dnt in tar net

There. Inarticulate and illiterate enough for your personal preference of conveniently short and overly simplified reductionist homogeneity?

bettr? u happy naow?? huhh???

[Charlish]

@erikagautney yes , this gives good vibes for the first time from ur replies. Idc what it means but finally something short from your side 🙂

[TM]

@erikagautney I have an issue with ur long replies tbh , It doesnt mean I don't read them cz I do everytime cz I like reading .. but the problem is that I have a lot of comments or critical opinions to say but I don't feel I should do because it will not end soon since u opened hundreds of topics with this long reply that looked so much like an analysis ...

[TM]

@erikagautney You should learn the difference between general and specific terms to start with .. When I said my most evil thing i did was stealing a choclate bar , that doesnt mean that this action by itself is " The most evil " but since it's related to me it becomes so because I didnt do something that bad like you did to mention it ..

[Lake Bodom]

i commit evil if im weak at anything .. so i try my best

[TM]

@Lake-Bodom That's a philosophical reply hands up 🙌 we can write books abt what u said bottoms 🧐