Most Evil thing

[erikagautney]

@The-Mods said in Most Evil thing:

@erikagautney It was not me who downvoted ur reply

Oh... ok, well, fair enough @The-Mods

It happened right around the same time you replied, so it seemed to correlate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But if you say so, I'll take your word for it 👍🏼

[erikagautney]

@The-Mods said in Most Evil thing:

I didnt judge ur action cz I already assume it should be bad since I asked yall to mention an evil action u did ...Plus u assume a lot of shit like " we are a gang coming together to fuck with u " lol

First of all, I was employing satirical humor lol. Secondly, it doesn't really matter tbh. And I wrote as much in my original post, that a lot of judgement might come my way simply because I chose to answer this Q as candidly as I did (and/or because I did so without showing remorse for my "most evil thing" too)

So in a sense I was already preemptively prepared for this sort of bias since most people would readily prefer your evil simple story about stealing chocolate bars or handkerchiefs vs stealing somewhere between $8K ≥ $10K from a girl in mourning by exploiting her (physical and emotional) needs, manipulating her inexperience (with relationships and money management), and preying on her fears (of not doing enough to "earn" my affections + constantly reminding her that without me she'd once again be all alone in this world)

One is literally child's play, and is so generic that it could apply to anyone (though that also a strength since it means almost everyone could relate to some variation of your story) whereas the other story describes an individual with a "disturbing" lack of moral conscience (though I myself don't feel disturbed. Even over a decade after reflecting on the events and finally sharing it with the world, I still chose to admit in the present day that looking back I genuinely don't feel conflicted about it)

But here's the rub: On principle is not "stealing a handkerchief sticking out from their pocket / a chocolate bar while shopping at the supermarket" etc just as opportunistic as I was when I rushed to her dorm room an hour after the news to take advantage of her instability?

I'm not saying the scale or duration is comparable at all.

• Scale: one is a momentary slight of hand of a ~$1-10 dollar item whereas I played prolonged mind-games to steal ~10000-1000x times that value
• Duration: and after I successfully got my hooks into her posing as potential bf material during that closing window of uniquely lucrative opportunity (the day of + the following week, right after the memorial) I didn't decide to just sit back and wait to capitalize on her emotional investment in me at a later date.
  • I let my little social-engineering experiment run it's course and play out over the following weeks.
  • And when the money finally started flooding my way, I continued the con for months on end to get as much as I possibly could.
  • Even when the money eventually dried up, I kept her hooked for the free labor and supplies around the house... plus other physically gratifying benefits

So, yeah, I get it. It's just not the same... when it comes to the degree to which I took it. But... y'all were operating on the same principle whenever you stole from your family and let your cousin or whoever else took the fall, whenever you decided this little snack-able bar will benefit me, or when you simply chose to pickpocket a stranger just to see if you could do it, just cuz, for the shts and giggles. Et cetera. Et cetera.

But hey, it is what it is. People will upvote the "silly, simple" moments of mischief, and they'll downvote my "cruel, callous" months of manipulation... even though the topic quite literally asks us to like the "Most Evil thing"

But let's be perfectly honest here, none of y'all can actually pretend to be better than me when the principle of the problem still stands: we will act selfishly (and/or throw others under a bus while doing it) whenever it suits our needs. Welcome to the human condition.

Friendly FYI that I've also acted altruistically.

• I've helped to build houses for the homeless in partnership with Habitats for Humanity in Houston.
• I've voluntarily worked at soup-kitchens in Dallas feeding the starving.
• I've donated money to charities in New York (liquidating something like ~85-90% of what I had, out of my own pocket, to do it)
• I've tutored college applicants and incoming freshmen students in San Francisco.
• I spearheaded an after-school comp-sci educational program at a middle-school.
  • Also volunteered for their pre-existing summer-school program and took those kids on a trip to a robotics competition!
• I've even put on puppet shows for children in after feeding them in daycares.
• Temped at a nursing home.
• Also at a hospital.
• Not to mention the literal hundreds if not thousand plus hours I've put in for various churches over the years.

All for free, without expecting any form of compensation in return (okay, I did end up getting paid for the summer-school gig, but that's besides the point lol cuz that's not why I chose to do it)

And hey, I'm sure y'all have had such selfless moments as well. Good for you. Once again, welcome to the human condition.

The only key differentiator I've perceived (thus far, at least) is that I don't pretend to be evil when I'm using other people, nor do I pretend to be righteous when I'm helping other people. I'm aware that those are the classifications most people place on such actions, but there are a subset of people like me who don't do it because we're emotionally disgusted by / driven to such horrible / laudable actions. We do the "evil / good" things simply because we chose to, and the labels that get placed on them is really by the rest of society.

Of course, I live amongst you in such a society, so I try to keep my supposedly "wicked" deeds to a minimum and I indulge in "virtuous" acts whenever the whim strikes me, because -- once again -- that's what y'all seem to value... but take notice that, yet again, I'm doing so out of a self-centered sense of preservation (and, perhaps, to a degree it could be considered selfless too in that I'm promoting "do more good than bad" to others around me since I like living in this sort of society too. But that's more of a minor side-effect really of my selfish desire to survive amongst you emotionally driven lot)

Anyway, the TL;DR version is that I don't think I've ever been able to adequately empathize with another -- regardless of whether it's a morally righteous or morally reprehensible act I'm engaging in at the time. I'm not driven to volunteer at a homeless shelter because my heart breaks for the plight of the downtrodden. I just decided to do so. Simply being "good for goodness' sake" so to speak, is enough for me to act. Likewise, I didn't use a dead mother's money meant for her daughter to live rent free for a quarter of that year just cuz I am villainous or evil lmao. The schemes were merely a means to an end, period. I thought I could pull off a con pretending to be something she desired and needed, I decided to go through with the plan, and I stuck the landing. It really was as simple as that.

Now... if any of y'all think that my lack of empathy when engaging in such actions (whether the rest of you in society classify and label them as "good" or "bad, "right" or wrong", "Im/Moral" etc) is problematic, we can probably discuss that. That's a key differentiator that I've noticed over the last 15 years between myself and the vast majority of other people that I've met.

But setting aside the elements of emotional revulsion vs revelry in "Most Evil / Most Righteous" deeds (which y'all clearly experience and yet I do not) yeah lol y'all can't and don't get to pretend that you've got some moral high ground over me.

As difficult as this maneuver may be for some of you, try to climb on down from your holier-than-thou moral-high-horse and be level-headed with me. Look me in the eye and tell me none of you have ever acted in a selfish manner before. Or try to point your finger at me and pretend that I'm incapable of acting in a selfless manner. The second you do, I'm gonna call BS.

We're all human here, and as such every single one of us is perfectly capable of both. My motivations might differ from yours (for the record, I feel that emotionally motivated acts of charity or crime are inconsistent -- you're just window-shopping ...which is probably why I have no problem going to the extreme lengths I do when volunteering down in the ditches selflessly or selfishly manipulating people in my past relationships for physical or financial gain) but neither one of us can escape the impetus to "evil" nor the impulse to "good"

So go ahead everyone, give me the "most downvotes" for truly representing the "most evil thing" this question specifically asked us to reveal lmao. I may take it farther than some of you do, but you're no different from me because you're all capable and willing to do it to whenever it suits your needs, wants and desires (albiet, in smaller degrees, cuz pretty soon y'all tend to "feel bad" smh. And then, somehow, I'M considered some lower level of sub-human? Simply cuz I stuck to it and acted consistently unlike the rest of you?? lmfaooo nope I don't think so, y'all are just as despicable and deplorable as me, you just save face after doing it and I don't care cuz I know exactly what I am and I stay true to form ☯️ #YinYang #DichotomousDuality #WelcomeToTheHumanCondition)

[erikagautney]

@Ashish_ said in Most Evil thing:

WTF THIS USER NEVER ANSWERS WITH A SHORT REPLY

1. It's been 10+ years since those events took place, and I hadn't told a single soul till now. I think my self-imposed vow-of-silence affords me some leeway in being as vocal as I choose to be when I finally spill the tea.
2. More generally speaking, this user is... using a.. forum. An open forum. A public forum. A place where people can post as much or as little content as they so desire.

The site isn't called "Talk with terse strangers" it's "Talk with strangers" so expect to come across a myriad of widely and wildly fluctuating variation of people from all different walks of life expressing themselves in a plethora of ways.

If you're not quite ready to face that music, I suggest you take a break from the internet, cuz it's not gonna get any easier for you the deeper you dive into it ¯_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

[Charlish]

I am not even gonna read this reply , it already looks big 😂

[erikagautney]

pea pull r diff rent frm ewe. if u no like, dnt in tar net

There. Inarticulate and illiterate enough for your personal preference of conveniently short and overly simplified reductionist homogeneity?

bettr? u happy naow?? huhh???

[Charlish]

@erikagautney yes , this gives good vibes for the first time from ur replies. Idc what it means but finally something short from your side 🙂

[TM]

@erikagautney I have an issue with ur long replies tbh , It doesnt mean I don't read them cz I do everytime cz I like reading .. but the problem is that I have a lot of comments or critical opinions to say but I don't feel I should do because it will not end soon since u opened hundreds of topics with this long reply that looked so much like an analysis ...

[TM]

@erikagautney You should learn the difference between general and specific terms to start with .. When I said my most evil thing i did was stealing a choclate bar , that doesnt mean that this action by itself is " The most evil " but since it's related to me it becomes so because I didnt do something that bad like you did to mention it ..

[Lake Bodom]

i commit evil if im weak at anything .. so i try my best

[TM]

@Lake-Bodom That's a philosophical reply hands up 🙌 we can write books abt what u said bottoms 🧐

[Lake Bodom]

@The-Mods hell ya bro

[Lake Bodom]

@erikagautney do you legit type all of those replies ? bruh...

[Lnrfg2272891]

@erikagautney Kindly put this confession of yours as your description so people can save their breath.