@notaserialkiller Maybe to yourself, have you ever watched Shrek? Though it seems like a fairytale, it's quite possible you'll find someone who will love you for who you are. It doesn't take much to better yourself, if you hate yourself and adopt bad habits you'll rarely get the chance to go out with some ladies, I was in your shoes once, I didn't think I'd ever get a girl, I had low self esteem, I didn't like myself, I thought of committing suicide nearly every day. Then I started to change my behavior, it didn't happen overnight, rather over a period of 4 years. A few months ago, I had my first long lasting relationship, before that, I had a short lived one. You see, neither were interested in how I looked, it was part of what they liked, but whenever they told me about how they thought I was good enough for them, they didn't mention my looks even once, they told me more about how I had made them feel. Love, sex, life, these are elements which require faith, and a little bit of courage to do well in. Have faith in yourself, someone out there thinks you've got good looking features, most will think you're ugly, sure. But you're looking for someone, not everyone. It takes a lot of patience, believe me, took me 4-5 years, maybe it'll take longer maybe it won't. But how you better yourself, how you can be "actually nice" these all come into play, better yourself, and the world will give you more.