Best posts made by Willow

Some people can write poetry. Others can write hella good fictional stories/inspirational pieces. Me? I can just share life experiences in hopes of making someone smile or be less bored.

So this is the story of how I dislocated my shoulder because of a pigeon.
Picture a nice, sunny day, not a cloud in the sky. And it was hot af. Its always hot af. I had my radio turned all the way up, my sunglasses and my stringed bikini on.
Now this is by all my favorite swimsuit. Its yellow and doesnt give weird tanlines. If I wanted to surf, its tight enough that my wetsuit can just go right over it no problem.
Anyways, little did I know the swimsuit would be the death of me. Or at least, part of the death of me.
As I walked towards my porch to overlook the ocean (back when i was 17 and visiting the beach), the birds started swarming. I had an issue with PBJs and birds. I like to feed the animals....which was mistake number two. Now for some odd reason there was a pigeon on the beach.
All the seagulls swarmed but i was genuinely interested why there was a pigeon-looking bird on the beach
As I took a step, the strings of my top got caugt on the stair rail. Damned the broken wood.
Mistake number three was when I swung around to get the tye off. And my PBJ fell from my hands.
When the birds swarmed down, I screamed and clumsy me managed to fall backwards down the stairs.
My top ripped, and Willow became a little ball of crazy spin-profanity-screaming-tangled blob.
When I reached the bottom, the last thing I remember seeing before passing out, is that the pigeon....was not a pigeon but rather, a small blob of peanut butter on my sunglasses.
And that my friends is the story of how I dislocated my shoulder because of a “pigeon”

Okie so I have a pitbull mix and they can be aggressive. So yes...my dog has some behavior issues (we have got passed most of them)
But my best friend keeps telling me its because I spoil her like wut
Anyways she puts her dog in a crate at night and thinks I should do the same for the patata I call my dog.

Anyways
*do you put your dog in a crate or can they get in bed with chu

This post was made with the help of @Lucifer . It is a joke and if you are easily offended, fuck off.

10 commandments of Willow:

1. Thou shall prefer chicken nugs over drugs
2. Thou shall choose caprisuns over kool aid
3. Thou shall always return a hug <(•.•<)
4. Thou shall view Judith’s dog’s nudes
5. Thou shall not use profanity “yes”, only the holy word yuppers
6. Thou shall pee on others to show dominance.
7. Thou shall not be a dumdum and troll.
8. Thou shall not slaughter unicorns.
9. Thou shall respect the holy sacrament of cats and keep holy the day of kitty snuggles.
10. Thou must love all, even the goats.
11. Thou shall not have a cool real name and not use it. (Im looking at you Gautam).

@azriel said in TOP 5 FRIENDS- YOU GOTTA CHOOSE:

@willow I think everyone's my friend.
I don't know if they feel the same towards me.
P.S. I'm being fair lol.

thats not 5

@boots22 no you are not.
You arent leaving and ill be freaking damned if I was too late to message you
Smh

@bela
Mmmmmm
@Vampire_Queen is hot af, id date her because of her looks, im shallow like that 😜😜(jk, shes uber sweet too)

@zoob again, Im super shallow and hes uber hot when he smiles.

@rendezvous is smart and I think he would just be fun to hang out with

If I were to plan a group date:
Id want to go with
@sup and @kat_15 cuz hey, kuppy5va

And I would only go on a date with @albertolok if it was a group date.

@yoursbucky
@talkwithstranger we discussed that we are no longer allowed to ban users just because they want to be banned. I took the liberty to unban yoursbucky, and that was one of the reasons why.
Since we are mentioning me writing something on your profile, Id like to see further proof that I did this. For all we know, you wrote that just to make me look bad.
Since you are trying to call me out, lets discuss what you have been sending to my private messages

You continuously spammed my private messages until i answered.
I was done being kind to you and I apologize for using profanity (eh jk, im not sorry). But i asked you to leave me alone and yet you have continued.
You have now begun harassing me, saying that I am obsessed with you, when you are the one messaging me. So sorry, but I could never love an idiotic asshole.

You use namecalling to spite me and call me stupid. Well sweetheart, youre a pretty dumb fuck too.

Once again, lets discuss what “ego” problems are.
Definition of ego: the self importance or self esteem of one’s self.
So tell me Bucky. Does a suicidal, anorexic, self harming bitch like myself seem like I have a big ego? Nada baby boy.
Ego problems is a person coming to another acting entitled, treating others as if everyone owes them something
And thats exactly what you did

I asked you to leave me alone and now you do this
So yes @RAGNAR i have some things I would like to discuss
And as for you @yoursbucky get a fucking life and quit trying to talk shit about me

@captain_rogers said in A SECOND PROTEST LETTER:

@odin wow so basically you think I'd make a mistake? You basically mean I'm a mistake? Apparently you really didn't know who I was. I know y'alls stupid rules and I have followed them. You know people change. You need to keep up old man.

Here is what I am going to say.

Boots, you need to leave this topic.
A few months back Ragnar did bring your name up when trying to choose a moderator. It was decided that you shouldnt because you were emotional and a bit dramatic (sounds like me lmao).
Yes, like you said, people change. But right now you are angry. And you are only proving his point of you being dramatic.

For your own sake, quit answering. Becoming a moderator isnt worth screwing up you two’s friendship.

If you really are changed?
Now is your chance to show it

Topic of discussion for the day: retail therapy.
Like most basic white girls, I love to go thrift shopping with my girls and searching around for bargains.
Cuz I loves me a bargain.

However, after viewing my spendings the past few months and realizing just how broke I am, I am going to have to.... sobs .... start ... cough oh God cough FUCK..... start...start budgeting and spending less money

According to all twelve of my friends (one of which is working to become an accountant), this is the easiest and best option.

But lets be real, wth do they know? I mean come on if I had to choose between actual professional financial advice and what i have in mind...clearly the smartest decision is to listen to me myself and I.

SO

LISTEN TO THIS PERFECT AND AMAZEBALLS advice I have for chu.

Wait for it...building up the suspense...hang on... suspense still building..

rainbow hands SUGAR DADDY.

BOOM MIND BLOWN MIC DROP CASE CLOSED FUCK YOUR DOGS ASS WE ARE GOOD TO GO.

So shoutout to all the peeps looking for noods. I am now selling @football_m30 and @ObviouslyLucifer ‘s noods for 5$ each.

Himme up for more details ;)
@daddy @big-black @pisslover (god do any of the other oldies remember piss lover?)

===========
Also since we are here. I have started a group here on TWS and if you wanna join text me. If I like you, Ill let you right in. But if you are one of the people I don fuck with, its gonna cost you a bit of moolah

Ya know how sometimes someone does something and it doesnt just irk you, like a pet peeve. No, im talking about something that thoroughly pisses you off that someone else does.
Mine is that I get pissed very easily when people constantly ask (especially beautiful people who know they are beautiful) if they look good
Like they dress extremely sexy on purpose. Do their hair and makeup n whatever other shit. But they ask every five minutes “do i look fat?” Or “oh no, is my blah blah ugly?”. When you say “no you look fine.” And they just change the subject and smile. Not like they have an insecurity but GENUINELY JUST LIKE COMPLIMENTS.
Like I will be straight. Ill just say “yo bish, compliment me.” Not dis shit -_-
Your turnnnnnnnnn

@football_m29 @BOOTS22 sniffles im not crying, you are

Anyways
@RAGNAR is the bestest, hottest, sexiest, most caring, kind, and smart man I know. I love you babes. Baby. Daddy. Mi amor. My infinity. Forever and always. I love you more than all the money in the world, more than the earth, stars, moons, and other planets. I love you more than i love myself. And im the luckiest bitch in the world to have as great as a person as you. Err always tells me how wonderful of a friend you are. Err one always saying how lucky we are. Because its true. You are perfect. And that makes err thing in my world...perfect. Congrats on becoming a manager. And congrats for being the coolest TwS user i can think of ;). Keep up alllll the great work.
@football_m29 you listed me first again!!! You really are my bestest bestie a girl could ever need. You always give the best advice, and even when you are down, you try to be positive for those around you.
@BOOTS22 okay mah smol bean, even tho sometimes you complain about not being as wonderful as i think, screw your opinion. Im glad to have you to have stupid convos with. Im glad to meme share and laugh with at stupid vids. That chick is lucky to have you, you deserve the world.
@Lucifer_ ya know, i hate how you are always right sometimes. You state the best solution for every decision. Hell, you are the most logical person i know. And you are definitely someone I now consider my bruddah. Much love Nikki Minaj!
@Sammy yooooo sissy. I know we barely talk to each other privately, but someone needed to say how wonderful you are. I love how real you are on your instagram. Your funny stories, perfect tws replies, and dope personality makes you very lovable. Stay dopeee
@sup yehhhhhhh boiii. Heard you passed the exams so imma keep you!!! Tbh, maybe...MAYBE....you have better memes than me. Maybe....okay yesss. You have a great sense of humor and i was honestly shocked by how cool you were the first time i REALLY actually talked to you. Thx for being awesome.
@tehkotak mahh Saint Bobbbyyyy. Youre a sweet and kind person. And i was nervous when I first met you of what to expect. You were shy, but once I got to know you, i realized how damn lucky i was to have a friend like you. Muchas gracias mi amiga
@Laura-Anderson you are most definitely the coolest person I can think of in the pub chat. Everything lightens up when you message it feels like. And tbh, I am jealous of how pretty you are. And im lucky as hell to be able to call you my sister. Even tho sometimes (okay all the time) we disagree, we still manage to joke around and share a laugh. Thx for having the ability to make people smile ;).
@Anti-Cute or whatever your name is these days lol. Thx for taking my advice and keeping that dope ass dp. Its fantabulous. Thx for giving an old tree like me acknowledgment in the public chat. I feel like youre someone who I could go to for anything. I wanna specifically compliment your logical approach to err situation. Ans mentioning perspectives most others would ignore.
@emilyyyyyy Id like to just thank you. You didnt know it/realize it. But you made some of my bad days pretty damn good. And I thank you for bringing some (somewhat) pure humor and smiles to my world. You mah fav alien.
@TheStrangest i knowwww you sometimes check on TWS (admit it :p) but Id like to thank you for the time you gave me while here. You were a dope friend. Although hard on the outside, you are actually really kind. I like your no-care attitude and you are fearless when it comes to sharing your opinion. Also ps, thanks for those fighting vids, im watching some rnow.
@Black_Beetle is a dope ass bish. She always makes me laugh with her strange GIFs and perfect timing in every instagram convo. Much love sista

http://chatrooms.talkwithstranger.com/topic/8088/getting-real-for-just-a-few-minutes/17

Lets just stop for a minute and acknowledge how much one post. This one. Damn. Post. Changed my life. Bishhhhh, that ‘crush’ i was telling you guys about, had no clue it was even him. He text me giving me advice about telling this person, and little did he know that it was himself.
@RAGNAR and i have been dating since the night this topic was posted. The minute i had the balls to admit to it. And god damn, it was worth it. So to the people that are scared to ask someone else out on a date or admit you like them- do it. If i could do it, trust me, so can you.
To mah mofo Sammy, i love ya babes. Infinity plus one, forever and a day, and all my heart plus all of me. Te amo mi amor, siempre y para siempre.
And lastly, to the bitches that keep asking my man for nudes and saying “dont worry she wont find out.” I hope you die in a hole. Surrounded by gooey worms. Without food or caprisuns for days. And suffer, fuck you bitch.

Okay so I am a single mom. The dad is nowhere in the picture at all. In fact, he cant be within 500 feet of me and my daughter :). But anyways
There is a daddy-daughter dance at school. And she really really wants to go. So first things first.

1. she wants to go but she doesnt have a dad. Do I go instead or would that be weird or...?????
   2)She started asking where her dad is. Why she hasnt ever met him. And idk. Idk how to answer that.
   Any single mommas out there or anyone out there period that can help, it would be much appreciated

Which do you use more? And which is easier to use?
I only have instagram soooo, i vote that.

IM TRIGGERED AF
Let me just start by saying: THIS IS NOT ABOUT @RAGNAR . ONE MORE TIME: NOT. ABOUT. RAG.
This is about all the pm’s that are receives by each of us. About the name calling in the pub chat. And about a few experiences in the past that just fuck me over everytime i think about it.
Lets address one thing first, because some may not know. Meh and @RAGNAR are TAKEN. Single. Off the market. No sexting, no nudes, and no flirting. Is that me being too demanding? I dont think its too much to ask for horny peeps to leave us the hell alone.
The only reason this has become a topic is because i had to change my settings to “just users i follow”. And man, i liked leaving my messages open to anyone that needs help, or anyone in general. I liked to be the “unofficial welcome party of TWS” for many new users. But this HAD to be put in so that me and Samnas could avoid temptations, avoid the annoying horny people.
Some people just cant take no for an answer. And the reply “sorry i have a girlfriend/boyfriend” means nothing to people. Someone please tell me WHY. Why is the response “thats okay he/she doesnt have to know”? Just wtf, someone please do share. Is relationships just a big joke? Or are you just so horny it doesnt matter?
If cheating while dating isnt enough, what about marriage? Last year i met a dude online and we dated for six months. I visited him a few times, he visited me. Now, i believe right before our six monthaversary, i got a text. And it said “This is his wife, he will not be coming to see you next weekend. And he will mot ever see you again. Fuck you bitch, he has kids for god’s sake!” He lied. For six months. Cheated. Why is it worth it? Just why?
And lastly, this is quite so related to this topic title. But I am by no means “Raggie’s whore”. I dont know who is finding it so funny to say that, but seriously? Who tf do trolls think they are? I am so much more than a whore. Hell yeh, i have sent my fair share of nudes and sexting sessions. But at least i know when i can be doing that, and when i cant. AKA: WHEN I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP.

And lastly, what would a post be without mentioning the inspiration? Fuck all you bitches, im hoping one specific person knows EXACTLY who i am talking about.

Now, onto the question. Why? Just. Why.

This is the determining factor...are you a true friend or not.....?

I am going on a movie date with a Lizard Reptile I’ve never met & have only ever talked to through the message board of a sketchy anonymous chatting service ..filled with an army of horny kids & catfishes.
....he insisted this would go viral.
But how could I say no to ice cream?

Clickbait. Make it stop make it stoppppp. And here is some fun gif ig:

@its-bobby
Well you see
Mommy has an outlet
And daddy has a plug.
When they merge together, a computer turns on, sparks fly, and mommy and daddy have ordered a baby online. Then, the baby’s fatass takes 9months to be delivered by a bubble
The end

@trose18 she-who-is-herself
Good God thats terrifying