sighs.........well....there’s no real way to say this in an easy way.......I mean heck....it shouldn’t of even been possible to tell this as the situation would’ve never existed where I have to confess......but....thing is...I’m actually 15.....yeah.....not 18........and yes I know some will have questions about why I lied about my age and I’ll honestly tell ya....I don’t have a darn clue.....just....guess I didn’t know what I was doing...acting upon it to be kinda seen as what I wanted as..well you all know now....I’m sorry I lied...I shouldn’t of and I’m asking for forgiveness....
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Welp....I guess it had to be said one day
Just a little vent
It’s always bothered me the subject of understanding one another and I don’t mean that I don’t understand people I’ve actually been told I’m rather understanding and kind at heart when listening to other people’s sides of things but the thing that’s bothered me the most is that no matter what, you’ll never really understand completely what someone means when they discuss things that are considered deep as in how to view life, emotions or even rhetorics. This bothers me and I don’t want it to I want to be able to understand completely from that persons view point and the same way when I’m trying to tell them how I feel and truth be told this is one great factor of loneliness is that no one understands you from the way you understand and honestly it sucks sure you can get a substantial understanding but it’s never going to be 1:1 complete comprehension cause people see things in different ways. Example when I try to talk to someone about my problems and my life I won’t feel like I’m getting through to them and they understand something slightly different from what I’m saying but we both know the source but not the same answer... and this is why I don’t really talk about my problems on here or anywhere really unless it’s with someone who can come close to my mindset or I trust very deeply... the reason I’m venting here instead of the places I usually (well....I rarely ever vent even when I should and need to) cause I’m not looking for an answer on this cause I’ll never truly know it... all I’ll get from anyone is their opinion and hopefully reading some replies to find something close to my ideology but it’s close to 0% as people are that different so here I am saying this elongated paragraph to vent when I should be talking to the people I trust but I’m afraid that I’ll just either worry them or the reason for this topic: I’m afraid they won’t completely understand me
The rabbit is finished but now onto the table and background
Realized I should probably post this cause well I said when I finished the Holland lop I’d post it so yeh
Loneliness to me
Alright so here’s a good one I’ve been lonely all my life, sure you may think that saying that”oh I’m lonely” is just cause I don’t see people much it’s absolutely nothing like that loneliness is everything but being away from people... what it is to me is feeling unnoticed be it people talk to me or say nice things yeah it does feel nice but it doesn’t take away the creeping feeling that it’ll all be taken away like a simple scratch on that reputation of needing affection or attention will change everything about it.
True loneliness is being ignored to an extent, in my childhood I was the black sheep no one really cared about me no one had interest in me I felt separated from other kids at school as no one really wanted to get to know me sure I had the reputation of the nice, polite kid but that’s all they knew about me no one cared about what was going on at home no one came up to me to ask me about my life no one was interested in what I thought about things only certain friends who I hold dear to my heart had taken up the time to check up on me or ask me on my feelings but those times were rare.... you feel left out, unappreciated for things you think or go through, you struggle to keep moments lasting, time seems to always be on your back, heck you even feel depressed during social times cause you can’t really rely on people to be there you can’t hug someone and they tell you it’s gonna all be alright. It’s complete madness how some people go through this and still have the heart to put on a smile each day... and I know a few people like this me included who constantly are on edge to try and get their lives together you keep on saying you’ll never be depressed but that ends up straight bringing some straight to that and to put it in more it’s usually what we least expect from damage to be the nice one, the kind, the generous, courageous all things that most people cannot share as they lack the ability to be as close with people this doesn’t change who we or what we do it just puts perspective on what we value on our lives friends, family, loved ones... they help ever so slightly in it to keep others from those feelings. I hope to all who can relate to this or have been through the empty feeling of being unloved or uninvolved with others. That’s the true meaning of loneliness to me
With open arms
To all who’ve helped ease the times I’ve spent alone
Luc (the only friend I had in my childhood)
And many others some on the TWS team and some not I love you all with to a close place in my heart
Was curious to all those who dabble or are curious into the art industry of who is your favourite artist? Be it their art style that catches you or their characters made just reply back with your favourite artist!
My favourite artist is freezepop88 cause I absolutely love her art style of how it looks and hoping to commission her in the future!
Well I’m back after some time, a lot of time, an age of thinking
Well recently a lot of people asked me where I’ve been and well to keep things from getting too repetitive I’ll just make a post about what I’ve neen throug
Recently I’ve come to find a lot of self doubt in me(I don’t mean that I find that I’m worthless or don’t matter but just more conscious of other and how they can view people as general characters) being myself was kinda hard for me as I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere started lurking in places where I usually enjoyed and was just being the extreme introvert I was in those times only talking when needed and not enjoying things though it’s over now and I’m calm again it’s nothing anyone did wrong or anything i don’t want anyone to take the blame other than me but what brought me out is some groups I found where it was comfortable to be with they showed me how to not be afraid of myself and what I do is what they love me for and if I ever needed help I could just go to them for help and I spent some time doing that and came back to my general wholesome self and felt better so no worries and I’m pretty sure it won’t happen again so in brief
I’m ok, I’m happy, I’m calm ^¥^