imma treat this like a diary不

  • ABOOBS Live Chat Regulars

    i just want to put how ive been feeling lately somewhere, so im thinking this might be a good place but who knowsss?

    im listening to lust for life - lana del rey, the demo version, and i guess it has me thinking a little bit?

    im really excited for my 17th birthday, and i havent been this excited about my birthday in a long long time. my birthday has never been bad, but i guess that whole thing where you get older and like your birthday less thing is happening? who cares lol, doesnt matter.

    what DOES matter is this birthday i think will be the most, if not one of the most, meaningful birthdays ill have! hahaha

    when i was 10 (which is soon to have been 7 years ago!) my life changed so much. i entered 5th grade and life twisted(?) for me in so many ways.
    i had depression at this point i think? family life was totally different, it all got fucked up.
    somewhere in that year i started cutting myself, and became soooo suicidal.
    its just such an important... bookmark? in my memory for obvious reasons. ill never forget it all.

    anyways, the point is i never believed i would actually make it to being 16. i didnt want to, i begged that i wouldnt. i wanted to kill myself and yet i still couldnt so i just put all my effort into willing myself to die as sooon as possible.

    i didnt want to get here, i literally thought it COULDNT and SHOULDNT happen. i was so so sure that i would die before or by 16, and i told myself if i got to be 16 and all my hoping had no success, i would do it myself, i had promised myself.

    but here i ammm!! its been a rough fucking year so far.

    but im here, and im so fucking proud of myself.
    i had... 2 or 3 suicude attempts this year, a lot of shit has still changed. but it seems to be only getting better and i actually hope it keeps going that direction.

    turning 17 is gonna prove ME wrong and it actually feels amazing.

    ive gotten help in a lot of ways and ive been clean of cuts for a couple months now, and even though that doesnt even hold weight compared to 7 years of scarring myself i dont give a fuck, ill always be a cutter but im getting better! lol

    i dont know. this post is a mess but fuck yeah, i was wrong and im here and i will be here for longer i hope, and i actually DO hope that

    funny, during the worst part of this year i found this site and i actually think it helped me get better in some ways, and i got to meet amazing people too.

    i dont know, maybe some day i can explain this all better but i just wanna write i guess

    i dont know anything lmfao

    but im happy right now so who cares

    17 here i come? XD
    yes, even though its really really cringy,
    here i come!

    if anyone sees this, dont judge how bad it is LMFAO


    @nymphette you are amazing!! And you make others around you here feel amazing too. Im so proud of you for all that you have been through and fought through. Keep fighting and HAPPY ALMOST BIRTHDAY!! Xo

  • Yes! Nymphette don't let the darkness into you Sissy we always here for you love you

  • @nymphette wait.. what ?
    you did attempt suicide.. my little request for you.. Please, never think again about that,
    Don't be frustrated.. Believe us you're Fabulous
    you're good as usual always. Take Care

  • Live Chat Moderator Music Lovers Animal Lovers Live Chat Regulars Gamers

    lil Horn, you are the BEST !!!!! you got the whole world in your hands girl, you mold it the way you want.... you got all the best things anyone can ask for, Smarts, Heart, Kindness and Love. You gonna Fly Girl, spread the wings and Fly...

  • @nymphette awesome! You are so much stronger now than you were before. Keep getting stronger dear.

  • Global Veteran LurkersForLife ABOOBS

    Well..hi .Im new at this site and while the duck(as in findin my way through everything,i stumbled upon this Diary!!Dont think im qualified enough to advise anything but cant go wittout tellin something>>Life will have many setbacks.people close to u,even ur family can hurt u.but u dont try and end ur life for that do ya?u try to overcome those and start a fresh. Another thing is to remember All it takes is some GRIT.u dont give up anyhow.just remember this four lettered word and u will get along just fine.BTW a Very Happy Birthday to u.

  • @nymphette yeah but careful not to reckless using this

  • Thank you so much Miss .. Best wishes nd greets

  • It's all downhill from here, good luck

  • Live Chat Regulars SEEKERS ABOOBS

    @nymphette I know you can do it

  • Live Chat Regulars GSP Patrol | The Proofreaders Soul Searchers Freedom Writers Music Lovers Gamers

    @nymphette Well you should quit committing suicides now that you know you're so bad at them and Happy birthday I don't know where I've heard this thing which goes like "the darkest beginnings have the most fabulous of endings". Ps. Don't even try committing suicide again or you'll have an unwanted escort everywhere you go.

  • @nymphette My lil baby, you're so strong ! I'm so proud of you, you've been through so much and have overcome even more ! I'm so happy your attempts were unsuccessful, or I wouldn't have met such a sweetheart . You are the most beautiful, kind-hearted, and full of life. I love you babygirl, don't ever change ! I'm here for you through, anything & everything literally call me !!!!. stay safe, sane & healthy, wishing you the best always xxxx

  • @nymphette B'day Happy Dear 17 ,
    Stay Happy nd blessed, live long,
    May God Fulfill all your Desires nd Wishes , you will achieve all Happiness aheaD

  • @nymphette Intentaste suicidarte? Que mal que hayas pasado por todo eso :l
    Espero que logres conseguir ayuda.
    Que bien que estes mejorando

  • Feliz cumplea簽os

  • TEEN ANGST Global Veteran SPARTAN

    @nymphette HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!!! Also, don't cut yourself. Life has so much to offer. It will get better. Reach your goals.


    Milky my love, I am so happy you've come this far. You are stronger than you know. And I am greatful to have met such am amazing young lady so full of life. You know I love you baby gurl. Sometimes you dont realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness. Susan Gale
    I am always here for you.
    Ps - you are the milk to my honey

    You are loved and appreciated. Happy 17th birthday in advance Milkyboo

  • @nymphette That's incredible, very proud of you, prayers coming your way, congratulations on another year!!

  • I wonder if it's fun to cut oneself. I tried is once, just cause, it doesn't even hurt! The scars have long faded! I'm happy that my hands are as beautiful as every XD. Sooooo stupid kid cut cakes not yourself! You can get inked instead!

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