Bored in my marriage, need advice

  • I've been married for 3 years now but we've been together for 7 years. I don't enjoy sex anymore with him but I don't want to leave because people look up to us. We are perceived as the perfect couple. We have a 2 year old son and I can't imagine him calling someone else mom if we don't work out. I like flirting with other men but not cheating sexually. Any advice? What should I do?

  • @substitute66 wow! Thank you for your advice! I really appreciate it. It's amazing how much we think people really care about us like that...especially when they have their own problems to worry about. But I guess because my family and his family were so happy for us at the wedding and we don't have any issue with our in laws, it's like "why mess up a good thing?" But it's killing me how much I want to be touched and loved like I know I should be, as Im sure he wants the same affection. But I have no desire to give it to him. Physically he is very attractive, slim, and good teeth. He has a great career and is not abusive with words or actions. But I'm just not sexually connected to him and I never was. I looked only for what I thought was more important things when I decided to marry him. My question to you is if you're happy at home, what brings you to this site?

  • All I can say is this, I spent 15 yrs in a marriage that was affectionless with very little intimacy and this is what it taught me. We had 3 children and as with you we were perceived by everyone around us as successful and admired as a couple. It was a sharade !! Firstly who cares what other people think, your not on the planet for their benefit. I think you overestimate the impact you have on people as a couple, at the end of the day people are interested in what effects them directly on a day to day basis. If you were to split up you'll find people move on pretty seamlessly. So number 1, make the decision based purely on you. Number 2, Don't stay for the kids, kids are more resilient than you think as long as they are loved and cared for. Number 3 If you're not prepared to work on getting that spark back, presuming there was a spark in the first place you're not doing you or your husband any favours and your setting yourself up for a very miserable life.
    My wife and I eventually seperated after torturing ourselves for 10 years +. The heartache of seperating was nothing compared to the joy of finding my new (the one)
    Life's short, either commit and work as hard as hell to get the spark back or jump and enjoy the rest of your very short time in this earth. Sitti On the fence will only bring you misery..
    Just my thoughts , hope it helps


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