• I know this is a post that is free for the public to see but this is more like a self discussion, I guess? I don't know, but don't hesitate to comment any words of advice, encouragement, or hate. I'm not really sure why I'm doing this but I am and I would like to see where this goes.
    So, Hello, I am Olivia, well, I'm not, but that's my pen name. Or Olive, if you like those, but I don't.
    Last night I found out I have "daddy issues", which I knows is lame 'here comes another sensitive female that cant get her life together because daddy didn't hand her a silver spoon'. But this is different, at least I hope it is. My dad is still in my life and he always has been, I live with my mom but my dad has never been far away. But he still was never really a dad either. I never thought that mattered though because my mom has awlays felt like my mom and my dad in one, like some kind of super parent. Even though I know my relationship with my dad is probably worse than average I never considered myself a daddy issues kind of person, I didn't even think that was a real thing, I thought people just used that as an excuse to act out and be irrational. But now, here I am, about to turn 20 and I crave male attention like a meth head craves a bump, but I don't seek it. Well, I try not to, but yet I'm writing my personal problems on a website called Talk With Stranger. I still don't know why. Maybe I still want attention, or maybe I'm hoping that I can connect with someone who feels the same way. Whatever the reason may be, I will admit that it feels good to write my thoughts down. But maybe this isn't the way to do it. oh well, thanks for listening.

  • @OliveOlivia

    Word of advice then :sweat_smile: Guys that are looking for that kind of girls are often jerks, try to filter as much as you can hahahah... And I wish a very good luck in finding "the one" :p

    Also, here's something you will like... for sure:

  • @OliveOlivia That's a brave thing you've just done (whether anonymously under a pen-name or not) and you deserve the utmost respect for it. Whatever happens I hope you find the support here outweighs any hate you might receive.

    Sometimes it is easier to open up to people not connected to our situation than those who know us best. The advice we get is objective and there is a certain layer of insulation - if they betray our confidence and trust we can walk away from them relatively unscathed. I think it makes a lot of sense to put feelers out in a place like this. Rest assured you are NOT lame.

    Attention and attachment are incredibly complex issues which can't be resolved online in a day/night. But if you feel good about writing things down, putting them out here, then that's a positive start. You've realised your situation and that self-awareness is a big thing, it will stand you in great stead as you move forward dealing with this. Just, and I'm sure I don't need to say this but in case I do, please stay safe. There are opportunists in the world (not necessarily here, I generalise) who if aware of your situation will attempt to take advantage of it.

  • @OliveOlivia

    I have a very close friend that has the same kind of issue going, it's not like she has daddy issues, tho she is very submissive and often feels lost without someone to help her guide herself in life.
    You gotta try and understand if you crave male attention like sexually or if you crave male attention to a degree where you need someone to protect you, be there for you and hug you and say that everything will be alright, like a dad would... Tho this 2 things can be easily mixed... Hope I helped somehow?

  • @Lurker said in E N T R Y:


    Word of advice then :sweat_smile: Guys that are looking for that kind of girls are often jerks, try to filter as much as you can hahahah... And I wish a very good luck in finding "the one" :p

    Yeah, I've learned that 😂 but thank you!

    Also, here's something you will like... for sure:

    perfect song for this post 😂

  • @Lurker said in E N T R Y:

    Would that sexual attention be sought into the same person that fulfils the second option I gave you? Or it could be any other male?

    This hits a little near to home, I can't decide if after what I've been through this year I should back away from this topic or it gives me a uniquely qualified perspective...

  • @Matt_Aranha

    A piece of advice is always good, you weren't the only one that had to deal with those :joy: but yeah... yours is at a new level :shrug:

  • You know what? I get it. I'm in a very similar spot. I just turned 20 and I have never really had a good relationship with my mother, in fact, so bad that I moved out as soon as possible. My grandmother basically raised me, and my mom lived there the whole time, but she never really felt like a "mom" to me (dad isn't in the picture and I don't really care) . I'm on my own now and honestly I started seeing older woman as attractive and looking at milf stuff and similar topics. Let me be the first to say that I don't find my mother attractive at all, but there is definitely something I am looking for. Maybe it's "mommy issues" but I don't know. Just kinda just wanting female attention and contact. Seems rough. My name is Jay, and if you think we share something and you want to talk it through, go ahead, I'm always open. Maybe we'll get somewhere.

  • Things we don't resolve will haunt us as long as we live.

    Just take any old memory (older than 2 years) that still really stings emotionally when you go through it. Like, maybe you hurt someone really badly, or someone hurt you. Then go through that memory, and really really think about what you did wrong, and what you could have done better. This means you'll be able to take responsibility.

    Once you have realized what you could have done differently, you'll also be able to recognize what you couldn't have changed. Both go hand in hand, because now you can also stop blaming yourself and admit that the other (or the situation) is at fault for.

    The memory will only be resolved if you do this truthfully, if you take responsibility where you really have it (and could have changed something) and if you give away responsibility where you don't have it (and the other is at fault).

    Similarly it goes with the wounds of our childhood and upbringing. We'll have to properly acknowledge what went wrong, how it went wrong, and who was responsible and also understand our feelings and maybe even allow them first. (many people tend to suppress anger)...

    However this is something very very personal and propably impossible to do here. Thank god there are people who are actually getting paid for talking with you about these kinds of things and never say a word to anybody else. And maybe in your country you don't even have to pay for it yourself. But if a professional counselor is not an option, you might also talk to a spiritual person (pastor) or find someone trustworthy and truly understanding in your social circle.

    Anyways, my advice is to go at this, and to find someone to talk about it. Someone who doesn't use you...

  • @Matt_Aranha Wow, I wasn't expecting this much kindness, thank you!:)
    No need to fear though, I've learned my lesson on being taken advantage of and I'm much more careful now 😂

  • @Matt_Aranha Offered perspective is helpful and appreciated but mental health comes first! Im sorry if this topic was a trigger

  • Great juxtaposition :joy:

    Screenshot 2019-06-27 at 21.38.44.png

  • @OliveOlivia said in E N T R Y:

    @petrapark3r I understand what youre saying but I think this is something that is hard to revisit and try to recognize where the blame lies. This situation isn't something that just happened when I was little it has been my whole life and still is, I don't even know where responsibility can be taken when I've been nothing more than a naïve child, unaware of what a father figure was supposed to be. I don't think I could blame my dad either, I'm his child so I'm sure he loves me -at least I hope😂-I just don't think he knows how to really be a dad either, and I cant blame him for that. I think all I can do now is recognize that the problems exists and try to be more aware of the choices we both make.

    The example with the old memory was more about showing that these things have a very real impact on our current day lives and also that they can be resolved in a very real way.

    Talking about things, really talking about what you feel right now, and what you felt in your past, with someone who does not judge you and just accepts you in the here and now, can do wonders. Seriously. Read up on Carl Rogers if you want to get an idea what I'm talking about. Genius of relationships that man.

    Responsibility is something other than blame. Maybe talking about things deeply makes it possible to give responsibility where it belongs, maybe not, but it will allow you to grow, I have no doubt.

  • @Lurker its definitely the second one that I crave but I am a girl with needs so I crave sexual attention too just not as much 😂

  • @OliveOlivia

    Would that sexual attention be sought into the same person that fulfils the second option I gave you? Or it could be any other male?

  • @Lurker no they have to fulfill the second option like you said

  • @blahs3xy Im sorry, i don't

  • @OliveOlivia It's the least any of us can do, and that's very good to know 🙂

  • @OliveOlivia the hardest thing to learn is how to live! Most people suffer from multiple issues from their child hood. You have to truly move past it with believing in yourself. Confidence in your achievements not matter what the out come.

  • @OliveOlivia see honey there is only emotion in life the people, outside of yourself have control over. That is their sexual being in your eye. Love, hurt and hate all come from with in you.

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