My family is hiding something from me . . .


  • One Woman Army

    My mother once told me not too many months ago that a time will come were "i will be old enough to know about certain topics". And to be blunt; My family does have some secrets that are not always pleasent to hear.
    But nothing out of the ordinary.

    Every family and kin has that.

    Yet somehow, even before that conversation has happend (and that talk did not end nicely from my part), i have always had the assumption that my family hides some sort of uncomfortable truth from and about me.

    "To keep me safe" as they would probably declare it if i will be able to find it out on my own.

    Of course, asking here for consulting is not the brightest choice i have made in my life, but what else can i do?
    My mother (the only family member that i am currently and willingly talking with) always refused such accusations.
    Strangely, deep down i have always felt "adopted" and not belonging to this family. Even as a child.
    That might very well be the reason why i was never be able to "bond" with them. Because i may have had a different family to begin with.
    Who knows . . .

    What are your thoughts on this delicate matter?
    Asking my mother further questions is futile. And talking with the other family members is out of option.

    Here is a fun fact about her:
    She does not even remember tragic events happening.
    Because that is how she copes with such happenings.


  • Hella Assassins

    @Karina-Kara
    I suppose this is the revelation. Since this is your rare genuine post bereft of the fantasy or mystical elements, it would be wrong on my part to add those elements here. However, let me put up some possibilities-

    1. You never felt the connection with them. Maybe thats not the case vice-versa and they genuinely do not wanna spoil your mood so they don’t talk to you unless you feel like talking to ‘em. The younger siblings often complain of the divided love from the parents, maybe this is your mind doing tricks on you.

    2. Your family might have been expecting the birth of a boy. Unfavourable results might be playing its part here in them unable to accept the truth.

    3. Maybe you had a twin and at birth, you as foetus would have claimed the right to your twin’s part of food resulting in part-miscarriage and the family might be unintentionally blaming you for their death.

    4. You might be adopted. Krug might be your blood family’s title but maybe they couldn’t escape the one ultimate truth of life. But your current family adopted you and took care of you. You might not feel the connect, but you should feel the reverence for them if this is indeed the case.

    And as Alte pointed out, your mum must indeed be talking about adulthood,
    afterall it could be understood only after the age has been reached.
    So try connecting with them instead of strangers, your life might change for better.



  • @Karina-Kara Yeah. being adopted scenario kind of makes sense, but it happens when there's just no bond between the kid and his parents, aint nothin special. But you know.. she might be just talking about adulthood lol. My mother also never really remembered the things that were "tragic" to ME, but then again.. she was an alcoholic.


  • One Woman Army

    @Alte
    Mothers, am i right?
    . . .
    But that is not funny at all.
    I am so terribly sorry. You know why. I will not write about it here.


    The thing is that i have this "endowment". A special gift that enables me to guess / estimate things correctly with a low probability of being wrong. Many times i was "just right" about a certain outcome. Unexplainable even to me.
    And truth to be told: I do not wish to be right in this case.


  • Hella Assassins

    Everyone has a skeleton in the shelf. Every family has it's own toys. When you know less, you sleep well. Curiosity or stability, what you prefer?


  • One Woman Army

    Thank you for the answers.
    This is not the revelation.



  • @Karina-Kara said in My family is hiding something from me . . .:

    My mother once told me not too many months ago that a time will come were "i will be old enough to know about certain topics". And to be blunt; My family does have some secrets that are not always pleasent to hear.
    But nothing out of the ordinary.

    Every family and kin has that.

    Yet somehow, even before that conversation has happend (and that talk did not end nicely from my part), i have always had the assumption that my family hides some sort of uncomfortable truth from and about me.

    "To keep me safe" as they would probably declare it if i will be able to find it out on my own.

    Of course, asking here for consulting is not the brightest choice i have made in my life, but what else can i do?
    My mother (the only family member that i am currently and willingly talking with) always refused such accusations.
    Strangely, deep down i have always felt "adopted" and not belonging to this family. Even as a child.
    That might very well be the reason why i was never be able to "bond" with them. Because i may have had a different family to begin with.
    Who knows . . .

    What are your thoughts on this delicate matter?
    Asking my mother further questions is futile. And talking with the other family members is out of option.

    Here is a fun fact about her:
    She does not even remember tragic events happening.
    Because that is how she copes with such happenings.

    There is a simple solution to figure out if you're adopted: In germany you have the law behind you, you have the right to know your biological parents, even sperm donors. Just ask the relevant authorities (no experience with that tho).






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