I dunno what to feel.. :'(



  • I just lost my closest uncle now.. I just got home from the hospital. I dunno what to feel, it's like I'm deeply wrapped in a prickly blanket of sadness. I want to write this out just to release this. He was my mom's(deceased) older brother who used to take care of us when we were young til now. He died alone, no kids no wife. He wasn't married. As his closest niece, I was the one who accompanied him for hospitalization... I attended him from the first day of cofinement til tonight that he was gone. I dunno , I'm devasted again. I lost closest uncle and aunt recently then he(another close uncle) was gone now. They were siblings actually , we haven't moved on yet from the lost we had last 5 months ago.. For the short interval of months, 3 siblings: my closest uncles and aunt were passed.

    I shed tears and unhealed wound cut open again, I dunno.. I'm honestly wearing my heart on my sleeves tonight which I don't usually do. I just need to unpack my heart now and I dunno ... Life is too short indeed. We should take good care of the people who loved us and show to them they matter.


  • SPARTAN Fake Moderators Music Lovers

    @cjko

    just write.
    We are here, if you need us.
    Talk to your parents, the worst thing you can do right now, is to be alone.

    also don't fight the emotions. Embrace them, its okay to be sad.
    WE ARE HERE. WRITE TO US.



  • @cjko I’m so sorry Cjko. Just have in mind, that he is in a better place right now. This life, this place is awful - he’ll be so happy right now, in heaven, the place rewarded to him for being a great man, which I’m sure he was. Would he like to see you sad? No, I’m pretty sure that he’s happy and he’d like to see you be happy too. Just remember, “this too shall pass”. Life IS short, and so are all the bad times. Life wouldn’t be life without all the depression, the tears; it would just be paradise then. Life is like this for all, you’re not alone. I pray that God grants you and your family ease in these difficult times, just please, do not overthink, don’t make yourself sad. It’ll all get better soon, I promise you.

    And we’re all here if you need us, do not ever hesitate to speak to us!


  • One Woman Army

    @cjko
    Goddamnit.
    I cannot imagine the pain you have to endure right now...
    Is there anything that could cheer you up? Or do you even want to be cheered up?
    May they all find peace and happiness in the afterlife.
    The dead never truly leave us forever. Their spirits and wisdom always accompany us forever.


  • One Woman Army Fake Moderators

    @cjko hey it's gonna get better with time...Try to do things that keep u happy..Try keeping urself distracted n don't stress over the loss. it'll be ok 🙂



  • @Karina-Kara thank you. I'll be fine.. I can take care of this. I just need to talk



  • @Karina-Kara EXACTLY!! You’re so strong, NOTHING can bring you down. I know you’ll be all better and cheery very soon < 3



  • @cjko Thanks for what!!?? Thank YOU for being such a beautiful human being. You are one strong woman, I am inspired by how you are able to be so strong despite all the pain you are feeling right now. It’s unbelievable. And yep, that’s exactly how it is, I pray you never lose hope and stay this powerful. ❤


  • Hella Assassins

    Hang on.
    I know, It's a shock - to feel that emptiness, when you realize that someone gone, especially when he was so close to you. We all have this experience..

    Our close people are always in our hearts. The brightest moments, which became part of us. And I think that those, who gone, don't want to see us suffering.


  • Hella Assassins Fake Moderators

    @cjko

    I'm so sorry for your loss.
    But as many said, death is part of life. It's the "conclusion" of our time here, and wherever he is, he certainly doesn't want to see you sad. So you gotta be a little strong and get better soon, tho don't hold back or hide your sorrow. It's ok to feel sad, we are only humans, we feel... really much.
    If you ever need someone to speak too, count me in!


  • One Woman Army

    @cjko Just do it. No holding back now...



  • @IM-NOT-HRNY thank you.. I appreciated this a lot. Hmm, I used to stopped talking before but now, I know how to mend my broken soul.. I just need a moment now. Distract myself from thinking everything. I can handle this now, I've been used to this



  • @Karina-Kara yeah.. thank you 🙂

    I don't want to believe in spirits but they're real. They visit you in your dreams


  • One Woman Army

    @cjko
    They will always look out for you.
    They will always care.
    Remember that.



  • I am sorry on your loss. Dunno what to say on situations like this. But I am here for you.


  • One Woman Army

    @cjko
    Some good music might help you. Even if only for a time being.



  • @Karina-Kara yeah you're right.. the more I experience something like this. I appreciate life that much. It pushed me to become a good person to anyone. It pushed me to live life meaningfully.



  • @Karina-Kara yeah, I used to listen a lot of that.. thank you.Good Book is a great way escape too


  • One Woman Army

    @cjko
    Look at you, loosing everything you love and you still manage to carry on and cheer everyone here up with your optimism and good nature.
    How i envy you = )



  • @ItsLiz thaaank you.I was moved by this, and you are right. I just kinda accepted already our (human) fate. Death is inevitable, we can delay it but we can't stop it. I know how tranquil their life after this.. free from cruelty , pain and sadness. It's normal to shed tears , I just feel pain and embrace it. Pain demands to be felt, then moved on til it hurts no more. I want to still wear a smile on my face after this, I have to be strong for my family and relatives who are weak. They need strength even when it times they cannot summoned the courage






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