I dunno what to feel.. :'(



  • I just lost my closest uncle now.. I just got home from the hospital. I dunno what to feel, it's like I'm deeply wrapped in a prickly blanket of sadness. I want to write this out just to release this. He was my mom's(deceased) older brother who used to take care of us when we were young til now. He died alone, no kids no wife. He wasn't married. As his closest niece, I was the one who accompanied him for hospitalization... I attended him from the first day of cofinement til tonight that he was gone. I dunno , I'm devasted again. I lost closest uncle and aunt recently then he(another close uncle) was gone now. They were siblings actually , we haven't moved on yet from the lost we had last 5 months ago.. For the short interval of months, 3 siblings: my closest uncles and aunt were passed.

    I shed tears and unhealed wound cut open again, I dunno.. I'm honestly wearing my heart on my sleeves tonight which I don't usually do. I just need to unpack my heart now and I dunno ... Life is too short indeed. We should take good care of the people who loved us and show to them they matter.



  • @cjko I’m so sorry Cjko. Just have in mind, that he is in a better place right now. This life, this place is awful - he’ll be so happy right now, in heaven, the place rewarded to him for being a great man, which I’m sure he was. Would he like to see you sad? No, I’m pretty sure that he’s happy and he’d like to see you be happy too. Just remember, “this too shall pass”. Life IS short, and so are all the bad times. Life wouldn’t be life without all the depression, the tears; it would just be paradise then. Life is like this for all, you’re not alone. I pray that God grants you and your family ease in these difficult times, just please, do not overthink, don’t make yourself sad. It’ll all get better soon, I promise you.

    And we’re all here if you need us, do not ever hesitate to speak to us!



  • @cjko
    Goddamnit.
    I cannot imagine the pain you have to endure right now...
    Is there anything that could cheer you up? Or do you even want to be cheered up?
    May they all find peace and happiness in the afterlife.
    The dead never truly leave us forever. Their spirits and wisdom always accompany us forever.



  • @Karina-Kara EXACTLY!! You’re so strong, NOTHING can bring you down. I know you’ll be all better and cheery very soon < 3



  • @cjko Thanks for what!!?? Thank YOU for being such a beautiful human being. You are one strong woman, I am inspired by how you are able to be so strong despite all the pain you are feeling right now. It’s unbelievable. And yep, that’s exactly how it is, I pray you never lose hope and stay this powerful. ❤



  • @cjko hey it's gonna get better with time...Try to do things that keep u happy..Try keeping urself distracted n don't stress over the loss. it'll be ok 🙂



  • @Karina-Kara thank you. I'll be fine.. I can take care of this. I just need to talk



  • @cjko Just do it. No holding back now...






  • @cjko

    I'm so sorry for your loss.
    But as many said, death is part of life. It's the "conclusion" of our time here, and wherever he is, he certainly doesn't want to see you sad. So you gotta be a little strong and get better soon, tho don't hold back or hide your sorrow. It's ok to feel sad, we are only humans, we feel... really much.
    If you ever need someone to speak too, count me in!



  • @Karina-Kara yeah.. thank you 🙂

    I don't want to believe in spirits but they're real. They visit you in your dreams



  • @cjko
    They will always look out for you.
    They will always care.
    Remember that.



  • I am sorry on your loss. Dunno what to say on situations like this. But I am here for you.



  • @IM-NOT-HRNY thank you.. I appreciated this a lot. Hmm, I used to stopped talking before but now, I know how to mend my broken soul.. I just need a moment now. Distract myself from thinking everything. I can handle this now, I've been used to this



  • @cjko
    Some good music might help you. Even if only for a time being.



  • @cjko
    Look at you, loosing everything you love and you still manage to carry on and cheer everyone here up with your optimism and good nature.
    How i envy you = )



  • @cjko
    I would never be able to be so strong as you.
    I would loose all hope if only a single family member of mine dies.
    Now i will always look up to you, sis'.
    Keep that chin of yours high up and never look down.
    Stay determined.


  • Veteran Mods One Woman Army

    @cjko Well this may sound dumb, but I felt exactly like this when my dog died. Its awful. I know. And, Im sorry for your loss.
    Talk to your friends,your mum and recollect the good memories you had with him.
    Thats how you bear it for now.
    And with time (I know this isnt a good thing to say but,) he'll find a place in your forgotten memories.



  • @cjko
    I'm sorry to hear that and admire your braveness to seek help

    Keep remembering that he is in a better place and that you will meet him there where you will then be free from all pain of loss - as the person you lost, you will find there. Till then, remember him for who he was- a kind loving uncle - and remember that you know exactly where he is and that you will be destined to meet him again.

    These feelings bring tears to my eyes!
    To see you leave my world, leave my side!
    Hear the angels sing!
    As they embrace you with a warm; "Welcome home!"
    With a warm "Welcome home!"
    Hear the angels sing!
    One morning I'll wake up to you,
    One morning I'll hear the angels sing.
    On that morning we won't be worried about the weather
    Nor will we might wither his life
    While the clocks alarm.- Jake Luhrs



  • @Karina-Kara yeah you're right.. the more I experience something like this. I appreciate life that much. It pushed me to become a good person to anyone. It pushed me to live life meaningfully.








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